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Sorry you had such a bad experience. And good on you for being an out-and-proud bisexual. As to the question above, I'm a female gamer so, yeah, that's another surefire method to meet idiots online. And just for the record, I don't think anything like this is likely to happen here (we're small, quiet and friendly, fortunately) but I do have a banstick and neither me nor any other mod is going to hesitate should anyone have the bright idea to pull a stunt like that. Everyone should feel safe and welcome on this forum.

Oh, no need for that if you ask me. As far as I can tell from history and anecdotes, average male behavior has actually improved over the past few decades, at least in this part of the world. And there have always been some good men, some horrible men and lots of perfectly ordinary men imho and same for women. Like I said before, it's not that hard not being a d****. Most of it is common sense. If you aren't participating in or encouraging vile behavior yourself, then I see no need to feel ashamed just because some people who also have a Y chromosome do. I certainly don't take responsibility for all the s*** that other women do either.

Good heavens, you're right, that is an option -- but not a good one! Of course I could sign in from my Dabbler facebook page, but prefer to register with each site separately, just --- because. Yes, I assume it was something like that -- facebook or Twitter or whatever other site they'd joined by way of. But all I'm seeing at the moment on the All Activity list is forum-related stuff -- posts, likes, followings, and when Valkyrie changed her avatar a few days ago. No strangers, and like you say there used to be loads of them. I assume Tim's been busy. Thanks, Tim! Weird. But I guess I'm not surprised. I've noticed that a few men seem to bolster their egos by thinking that even though they may not be particularly great, well at least they're better than a WOMAN!!! And then you go and stomp on them. I don't know whether to snicker or feel sorry for them. Both, maybe.

Put that on a t-shirt, Carol. I'd buy it.

I suspect that in many cases like you describe, the aggressor's (alleged?) faith is merely a front. I am married to a religious person and have fairly close contact with people of different religions. Some of these are pretty liberal, others not so much. I have great respect for religious convictions and the more they are in conflict with prevalent societal ideals the harder it must be for the people holding them to navigate the world with peace of mind. However, to my knowledge, no serious religion says "thou shalt harass", "thou shalt insult", "thou shalt threaten peoples lives" or "thou shalt hate". Does "where do you live I have a gun" dude seriously think his deity is proud of him? I doubt it. He probably just doesn't want to outright admit to being an asshole so he tries to somehow justify his behavior by throwing God in the mix. Good job quitting that place. I hope you find a nicer one.

Can I just make a general comment with regards to this Topic? What worries and concerns me; having read these Posts so far; is the psychological and emotional damage that the insults, abuse, and threats, as described here, can have on the recipients of such nonsense!! Please just remember that everyone has a right to be just the way they are, and that no one has the right to judge or condemn anyone!!! So be proud of who you are!!! I believe that we're all meant to be brothers and sisters in this world!!

Unbelievable, is it? And we have got a little present:

I see what you mean, but it's something for us to celebrate as well -- sort of like one's parents' wedding anniversary, I guess, the beginning of it all.

Some little details by Arwel. https://www.denofgeek.com/tv/sherlock-10th-anniversary-behind-the-scenes-set-secrets/

Squeeee! Mycroft is BAAAAAACK! https://twitter.com/bbcsherlocktr/status/1286989797664477190?s=20

Personally my religion doesn't allow for gays either. But people have to stop acting lik3 a gay person is gay, full stop. Yes, to some people gays are discomfiting. It's a fact. But totally disregarding that a gay person is a kind, funny person who likes pretzels or maybe kebabs isn't fair. God created gay people too. I'm going to be honest, I do read a lot of gay-themed Japanese manga and I'm a girl who fell for another girl at school (it lasted a year). And even tho there are people out there who cannot support gays all the way, everyone has been given the opportunity to live their own lives. And if we can't conform to their ideas and they can't conform to ours then that's not just okay; it's the most basic, ordinary thing a person can do; it's okay to think someone else has the wrong idea, it's not okay to think they're wrong as human beings. Even to religious ppl God doesn't need religion; if he'd wanted to he could have made being gay part of it. We have to stop ppl hating on gays just because but we can't be sure they'll ever really "like" them. And maybe that's alright too. I hate the tight, fitted clothing that most other girls, including my friends, wear. But that defntly does not mean that I hate them as ppl. I guess ideas are like clothes. One size doesn't fit all. That's how we are. It's what makes us different. It's human. Idk I dont really kno3 how to explain it better 😔

Carol, blood tests are currently only used to see if people have antibodies against the virus, meaning their immune system has had contact with it at some point. To test for a current infection with the potential to pass the virus on to others, you do indeed take a swab from the pharynx, which you reach by either sticking the probe really far into the patient's nose or touching the inside of the throat through the mouth. It's unpleasant but usually not painful and certainly does not involve touching any part of the brain.

THIS. I think it's safe to say that there are many gentlemen out there, and they make up for it. At the very least, I believe quite a big percentage of those online jerks don't actually behave that way in real life. Most people wouldn't say what they said online in real life. There are something about anonymity that brings out the worse version of us, in a weird way they feel some kind of power to do things they are too coward to do without much consequences. Little thing that we could get from this, I guess we have to be grateful that we feel secure and confident enough as human being in order not to do the same. It takes a lot to be 'real' nowadays in both online and real life persona. If you think you are one of them, be proud of the confidence! As non Star Trek fan, I thought it's the other way around, especially nowadays when 'nerdiness' is cherished or even cool. I never get the hype, but I think there is nothing wrong, I make fun of it sometimes but I'd never think they are losers, actually it's quite awesome that there is this community of hardcore fans. Hey, switch it to something else that I like and I behave exactly that way too.

Good God, cats are drama queens.

I have found this true as well. I usually use male avatars or gender-neutral avatars, and try to mask my gender as much as possible. I've never been one to give out much information about myself, I've always liked my anonymity. But you might be surprised what people can find out about you with very little information. Often they only need one piece. Someone once found out my real identity just by gleaning my Photobucket username from a picture I'd posted. The username was just a generic word, but sometimes a username can lead to a lot more. In a matter of minutes, with only Google, I myself have been able to find out people's real names, addresses, numbers, emails, relatives, schools/workplaces, and more, with nothing but a username, age, general locale (state/country), or something else that seems innocuous and vague. (This was done with the other people's full knowledge, by the way. They actually asked me to see what I could find out because they wanted to test their online anonymity.) Most people are comfortable giving out at least that much information online, whether on their profile or in the course of casual conversation. Most people don't have to worry about it, either. But if it's something that concerns you, one good practice (besides not posting anything even vaguely personal about yourself) is to have a different username on every site. A lot of people reuse the same one, so all their information connects and everything they've said online is right there with one click. Using the same screen name on your social media and the sites where you want to remain anonymous is an especially bad idea.

Sorry for your bad experiences, @Valkyrie123 and @Artemis. I had bad experiences too but not to those extent. These cowards hide behind their anonymity and like Douglas said, it could really affect the mood and potentially cause emotional damage. I have little patience for bullies and tend to push back harder if provoked, online and real life, luckily I didn't need to do that often because I don't really have much interaction, and certain imbeciles actually don't deserve any response, so I pick my fight too, some are just better to be ignored and from your cases, it seems like they don't worth your brain cells. Personally, I hardly disclosed personal information online, I'd rather not being associated with anything to avoid unwanted judgement, but there is nothing wrong to do so, especially in this day and age. But internet bullies exists, and I believe there was a study somewhere, most of those are insecure people who feel good by trying to belittle others, some are just actual horrible sh*tty waste of space on earth. In my little experience, anonymity is also sexist. I play games online, not even elaborate games, but I found that it's really helps to have male avatar, it's way too common to be harassed with female avatar, sadly, eventhough it's basic template avatar and there is no other information but sometime some jerks just do that.

Hooray! Thanks for letting us know that someone has been caring for her.

I think it's finally a good time for update. Anyway, around a week plus after this post, I continued to sneak in and feed her. She seemed happier that way, as after every visit, we both walked to different directions. Then one morning I went there, the entry point was properly closed and guarded, I asked permission to just come in and feed the dog, but rejected. That was end of April. I couldn't go in, I know no one, I had no idea if she is starving or not and I don't know what else I could do. For two and half months I drove there often, looking for a loophole or hoping that the closure would end soon (yes, the pandemic is still ongoing, but from the way people not doing proper social distancing and gather somewhere else, having the beach open could actually be a better solution, there are many beaches here and there are enough space for good social distancing practice) but it continued to close until end of last week, precisely Friday last week. As mentioned, this is not my regular beach anymore but I still come just for her. I had visited the other beach and found almost every dog. However, here, I couldn't find her on my first try. All other dogs on this beach that I know are also still here and well. But she is solitary dog and not young, could she survive without a pack, where is she? I came back again, and again, and again, walked the beach from dawn as I need to make time for work. I walked our regular spot, then further along the stretch, covering all areas we used to walk together, but no sight of her. I asked around, the local authority, the beach cleaner, they didn't know where she is. I even asked if they saw any dead dogs during the lockdown, but no. The cleaner who actually recognize me as someone who feed her, said they miss her too and haven't seen her since lockdown started. So I was devastated, of all the seven plus year I know her, we always find each other, except the one time in my previous story, and she always stays at the same place. I came back again the following dawn, and walked the beach all over again, it became harder everyday. A lot of what ifs, crazy thought and guilt. So much guilt. So many bad thoughts, so many regrets. I started to email, contact everyone I could think of, organization, someone I know who 'might' know someone that might know about the beach area. There was no result. Today I posted in multiple facebook group, eventhough I have little hope in them, but magically, after a mere couple of hours someone messaged me and told me that the dog is safe with her, she sent me pictures as well and invited me to meet them on the beach (too bad their timing is my working time but will work something out) (Update: I did! Thought of going on Sunday but couldn't wait! Went there yesterday, the day after I heard the news, I had to leave work early, quite early but I met her and she is alive and well!!!) I had been a mess these couple of days and tried to find a lot of distractions but my mood has completely changed. You have no idea how happy I am, and this is probably the best scenario I could ever dream of. So I promise to be in my best behaviour at least for these few days.. or hours... yay!!!!!! where is the vacuum cleaner I need to dance.

Dear Valkyrie123, OK: Here's my one cent worth: That behaviour that you have copped is absolutely appalling!! There's no excuse for it, and sadly, there are a lot of Idiots in the world today!! I know it's hard; but try not to get too upset by thoughtless, insensitive, narrow-minded, insecure fools!!! You don't need that sort of nonsense in your life, and you certainly don't deserve it! This is a wonderful Forum here, with great and friendly Moderators, along with friendly members; so you're safe here with us! Take good care, and I'm so sorry that you have been subjected to the narrow-mindedness and stupidity of Morons! Kindest Regards and Best Wishes to you, Douglas xoxo

I moved my mum into a nursing house last week: sorted clothes with her, put all her stuff into place, built a shelf and moved stuff around the room. All with a mask on (the so called paper mask). For a whole beeping day of ca. 30 Celsius heat. You can get used to it and forget you have it on your face - I realized it as I was already driving. But maybe you have to get used to it, the first few times were indeed a bit weird. There are people with problems that cannot wear a mask, but the rest is just whining.

It's actually not painful at all! I hardly notice my mask any more unless my nose itches or something.

NOOOOOOOOO Well, I think if you have a cat, an exorcist's number would be handy too.

Nope. I vote that the picture is real, these creatures are both liquid and gravity-is-myth-er.

this is adorable [emoji7].

Of course it's ok to post that! Especially in this thread. I think lots of people have similar experiences with elderly relatives but few are as honest about it as you seem here, even with themselves. We often feel like we must love a person because we are related but shared genes don't always have that effect. For example, I had a very different relationship with my two grandmothers. One I absolutely adored and I was devastated when she died to the point that some people thought I was faking it for attention because loss of a grandparent shouldn't be that hard. The other grandmother I never managed to love. I really tried but aside from the general "love thy neighbor" type of love I can usually muster for anyone, no personal affection ever happened and when she left this world, I actually felt relieved and nothing more. It's great that you visited him anyway even though you could have used the time for yourself. He probably appreciated it, don't you think?

Wow! That seems sooo weird to me, but as you say, you were used to people being different colors; you just weren't used to them being different shapes. Thanks for your example. It was the other way around in my school. We were quite a mix of shapes, but virtually all white. There were two black siblings a few years ahead of me, who were popular and well respected, but they only dated black kids from the nearest city. Some of the white kids seemed to feel that it was OK to make fun of black strangers, though -- nothing overtly hostile, but it must nevertheless have hurt some feelings. And they must have known that, because they always pulled those stunts anonymously -- from a passing car, for example. That's probably just how humans are. Fortunately most modern societies have outgrown the impulse to physically attack strangers, but we still need to be a bit wary of strangers, considering how many scam artists there are nowadays. But I'm using "stranger" in the sense of an individual that we don't know. I think you're saying we tend to be extra cautious about people (especially newcomers) who don't look / sound / act / think like us. And yeah, that's a shame, but it seems to be all too common. Even those who pride themselves on being tolerant of diversity seem to have little tolerance for perfectly nice people who don't think like them.

I agree. I remember when I was a kid this new girl came to our class. She wasn't white. That was normal. About half of us weren't either. She Sri Lankan and Singaporean. Also normal; we had Albanians, Afghans, Egyptian-Malaysians, Greek-Somalis, Mauritians, Romanian-Palestinians, Irish-Bengalis, Arabians, Egyptians, Indonesians, Sudanese, Chinese-Indians, Pakistanis, Bosnians; the whole lot, it was like a mini-earth in that class. And she was chubby. That was not normal. All of us were skinny and despite our different backgrounds we'd always been taught that fat people were lazy, weak, rich show-offs. So yeah, despite the diversity we'd grown up around we were still unable to even be civil to anybody who was different from us. I guess the reason all of us were able to intefact with each other so easily was because we had the same value sets and worldviews. We did become friends with her after a while; she was really really good at being funny. Still I guess people always attack the new, they just need some time for the visceral shock to wear off, and then that "new" thing becomes ordinary and familiar. It's kind of sad tho that we need to "get used to" people, we can't just like them right off the bat for being good people who have another way of going about things.

Thanks, Tobe -- I wasn't aware that they're able to tell the difference at this point. Glad to hear that they can. I had the impression for a while there that they were assuming anyone who had both symptoms and antibodies had COVID, which struck me as a possible oversimplification. I didn't think they were actually touching anyone's brain, by the way, merely that having a squishy thing stuck up your nose sounded pretty yucky.

You're probably right about that, so my example was outdated. I hadn't stopped to think that the world has changed a good bit since William Shatner did that "get a life!" skit on Saturday Night Live. Are you saying that you still classify all Trek fans as losers, but will make an exception for Sir Patrick?

Wise words: T.o.b.y and Carol! Well said!!

Indeed. Like I said, it seems to be only a few men who are blatant jerks, it's just that they're so noticeable that they sometimes give a bad name to the entire gender -- which is hardly fair! It's just like everything else. The general public tends to assume that *all* Star Trek fans are pathetic losers, for example, merely because of the few vocal ones that make it onto the news program. Same with politics, religion, etc. -- it's the noisy extremists who get all the press.

I think one of the good way is, do not sign up for anything using facebook. Never ever do that for personal purpose. It's convenient, yes, but as you said, it's so easy to link them. I used to wonder how come members here that I have never heard of, have never posted, change their username and avatar? I remember the forum gives notification and it occurred often (haven't paid attention whether it still happens now), then I think maybe it's because they change their facebook setting and it's reflected here? Not sure, but I guess that is a possible explanation. I have to say most of those I encountered are only annoying advances, but I did get hateful in some occasion that unfortunately happened when they lost the game. I played a strategy card game (4 player, anyone/strangers that happen to be online and play at the same time, it's realtime) and some really really hate losing to someone with woman's avatar. (This is avatar that comes with the game, a generic blank woman mugshot silhouette, distinguishable with man's avatar only by longer hair). He hurled abuse, but I continued to play and won over and over again and he got worse. You see, we were playing with virtual coins, there is no real world money involved, it's just for fun. Sometimes another player joined in to comment negatively, but most didn't do anything. I could exited the room and joined another, but it happened quite often, surprisingly, until I changed my avatar to man. The worse I could get was 'ouch' when I won their worthless virtual money. I wonder. From personal experience, in real life it works. They see relationship as challenge, yes, because it's not 'final', but actually wearing a wedding band saves a lot of problem and annoyance. It helps at work too. Some 'nice guy' likes to think you are leading them on even when you do nothing and the clueless person on earth in term of romance, as long as you actually look at them and don't seem like you are about to stab them, it's on. Some guy sees no problem approaching you that way eventhough you are not available. The creepier ones would find out your schedule and appear even when you, obviously, very uncomfortable. Or call you and suggest something creepy when he somehow finds out you are alone at home. This is the time before internet, I can't imagine now. Same here. When I mentioned game online, it's not those elaborate game with those super role playing, character or avatar. I'm merely playing some puzzle, card or word game. I believe it's not uncommon, as many other serious player actually put 'no chatting' or similar as their user name, and the developer updated the game feature that you have to give permission in order for someone to chat you up, so it seems like it is a thing. Could be poop fetish, and yes, creepy and inappropriate too.

Good point. You know the cliche male comment "all she needs is...."? They see women reading "romance" novels and maybe they think we really want to be treated like that -- by them personally, of course. No offense, guys, but none of you are that guy on the cover, nor are you a nice safe fantasy, and we have absolutely no trouble telling the difference! But yeah, a guy may think he's just acting sexy in a RPG kinda way. Who knows, some women may even take it that way -- but they're taking a big risk if they agree to meet up with the guy. Even if he's not a nut job, things could easily get out of hand on account of their differing assumptions and expectations.

That might explain some of their online behavior too? Like, a guy sending you hateful or obscene messages might think he's just being edgy or naughty and have no clue that he's sent off all your alarm systems. Not that that's any excuse whatsoever of course! I mean, my three-year-old understands that it's wrong to call people names and he's only just begun to figure out empathy. It really isn't that hard to not be a complete d***head.

I read an article somewhere which highlighted the fact that, in a relationship, men fear humiliation and unrequited feelings, whereas woman fear rape or abuse. This made me realise that in terms of relationships, men and women live in completely different worlds. No offense to men, but lots of them don't realise just how much women face this every day.

... and we wonder where all the adult bullies come from.

Me too! I know a number of very devout fundamentalist Christians who would follow the teachings of the Bible, to "love the sinner but hate the sin." In other words (I believe that I'm stating this with reasonable accuracy), to respect the individual as a child of God, while looking for an opportunity to show them the error of their ways. (And they mean with thoughtful words, not with guns!) I wonder if the hate-mongers were not only brought up to hate/fear/avoid anyone unlike themselves, but might also feel that doing or threatening physical harm to those people "proves" how brave and/or correct they themselves are. In other words, they're a specialized form of bully, not too different from those who instigate the throwing of bricks and the setting of fires in order to "prove" that their position is the moral one. (In either case, I can understand -- though not condone -- that some people get caught up in the heat of the moment; it's the planners, those who do such things quite deliberately, that I'm talking about.) @T.o.b.y -- I didn't see your response till I'd already posted mine. Well said!

Okay, I have decided to leave that chat website. A guy started spamming religious messages about anti abortion on the chat. So, for reasons that I would prefer not to divulge into (that you can probably infer yourselves), I was extremely offended and I politley told him I understand, but I disagree, and some people are forced to become pregnant at a young age, which is horrific and traumatising. I said all this very politley and in a calm way. Yet I started recieving private messages from this person, who is now blocked and reported on the website, asking me where I live and telling me he was going to kill me with his gun. Sooo, needless to say, that website is history, and so is my attempt to convince an ignorant man about the horrors of forced pregnancy. *sigh*

One of my dogs does this. I’m always worried about running him over, but I’ve taught him a trick. If he’s in the way or lying anywhere I don’t want him to be ‘cause I have to get up, I say “Beep beep!” (like honking a horn), and he’ll (usually) move.

OK, took me a while to find, but we do still have a Report button. Lest I confuse anyone, it doesn't look like a button, it's just the words "Report post," near the upper right corner of each post. Like a lot of other things, it's currently damn-near invisible if you're using the New Dark theme, but can easily be found either by mousing over it (which should bring up a tag reading "Report this content") or by highlighting the area (as though you were intending to copy it). So -- if you feel that a post has any politeness issues, please click the Report button. You will then be given the option to specify what you find wrong with it (and I would encourage you to do so). Then click the Submit report button. A "thank you" message will appear very briefly, but otherwise nothing will seem to have changed, and the person who posted the questionable content will never have any idea that you reported it. However this will create a red flag at the top of every single forum page, visible only to staff members. Optionally, you could send a Private Message to a staff member, but it's best to use the Report button, because then whichever staff member happens to be online next can deal with it right away. If the issue is blatant enough, a staff member will immediately delete all or part of that post. In less-blatant cases, we may do a bit of creative editing, along with a rather pointed reminder of the forum rules. In borderline cases, we're more likely to just remind everyone to be polite. It's also possible that we don't understand what you see as being a problem, in which case we may contact you for further information. But please don't assume that a staff member will notice an offensive post without it being reported. There have been cases where an insult was so subtly worded that those of us who weren't particularly interested in the discussion just skimmed right over it. And in other cases, there was nothing wrong with the post at first, but some offensive comments were edited in later -- which happened to be after staff members had already read that post.

I still wonder what goes on in the minds of the people writing those messages. Probably nothing... Because like Sherlock said: people are idiots.

T.o.b.y I agree, this is a lovely site and I am confident nothing toxic ever happens on here. I've just decided to ignore the haters and move on, because they are not worth my time.

What do I think of this? It's absolutely horrible and there is no excuse at all for that kind of behavior, online or offline. It's one thing if a person really believes, because of their religion, that we are facing eternal damnation and it's their god-given job to save us. Okay, fine, thanks for your concern, I do not share your beliefs, moving on. But insults and harassment are totally unacceptable. It's a mystery to me what people get out of that either. Sending the hateful messages, I mean. How does it help them in any way...? Like Caya said, I am pretty hopeful that nothing like that will happen to you here but if it should, contact a mod and we'll take care of it, ok?

In my opinion, she is - Sherlock flatlined. Since I don't want to lead this to threadjacking, I'll leave it at that, here at least. But please do make your own statement about her guilt or lack thereof in the correct thread, @SherLOCKED123, and I'll be happy to dive in again (as will @Carol the Dabbler, I bet ). Once more unto the breach!

That makes perfect sense to me. When you're regularly in touch with someone, you have a lot of day-to-day stuff to talk about -- but when you haven't heard from each other in twenty years or so, it's almost like meeting a stranger. If you stay in touch long enough to get re-acquainted, it's OK, but meanwhile you're in a very awkward situation. I don't think your friends meant to make you uncomfortable. They probably thought that if you gradually got back in touch with just a few people that you'd enjoy it. But to them, ten is a few, whereas to you it's a horde. You have my sympathy, but I have no idea what you can do, other than what you're doing. Maybe once people are able to return to their normal life, they'll have neither the time nor the inclination for all those chats. At least you can hope! That is indeed sad. Do you phone your mother regularly? If not, that might help. I'm just glad that this virus didn't arise until after my mother had lived out her life and passed on.

If you have to replace your toilet seat don't do it halfway man

Considering this is a bad puns thread, should I be ashamed to say that I got it instantly?

No you are not. I actually felt weird when it was very active during season 4. Nobody had time to listen/read to one another. I couldn't catch up with the post and gave up all together, I think it's more fun to actually read and respond to replies instead of just throw something at it and go. Anyway, I felt like a stranger going to party that I don't want to, felt alone and wanted to just sit at the corner and play with the dog. Imho, for a show that only has 13 episodes in the span of yearssssss, I think we are doing quite well. Heh... But yes of course, if we have new members with fresh eyes and takes, it's fun, and I'm all for resurrecting old threads, I think I'm guilty of some. Not sure why other forums are against it, who knows, maybe their show is not only 13 episodes for span of yearsssss???