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Everything posted by T.o.b.y

  1. I'd say yes, definitely. In almost all European countries. What do the other Europeans around here think?
  2. As far as I understood, the idea is to prevent him from running for office again. As for the majority, it seems unlikely to me too but who knows. We'll see... Even if the whole thing goes through, I am far from optimistic though. First of all, like Arcadia pointed out earlier, there's still nothing stopping him from influencing public opinion and future political movements through social and other media, and besides, even if he disappeared completely, the people who gave him power in the first place wouldn't. As for the loss of compromise and nuanced discussion, imho that became next to impossible when people stopped agreeing on basic facts and began to live in at least two completely separate realities. You need some kind of common ground after all. Also, the extreme ends of the spectrum seem to be getting louder and louder and I think we all have a point beyond which we aren't willing to go.
  3. My personal unqualified impression is that Trump and his presidency are mostly symptoms of much greater and deeper-rooted problems than causes of such. So unfortunately, even if he retired from politics and the public life completely, the people who gave him power will simply find the next leader to follow and the next movement to join.
  4. Oh Lord... I'm late to the, um, can you even call this a party? But whatever. I just read that article and it seemed to me as if the author never really watched Sherlock. First of all, BBC Sherlock certainly does not let the main character's attitude go "unchallenged", in fact, a massive point is made of him being a huge dick and as the story progresses, the disadvantages of that and the effects on himself as well as literally everyone else he cares for become more and more apparent until in the end, it's the stereotypically "feminine" values that Sherlock learns to embrace like love and compassion and making room for feelings in general that win the day, not Mycroft's "iceman" brain-cult. Secondly, "masculinity" is about the last word I would associate with this particular portrayal. I always feel as if the show would work just as well if the main character was female. This Sherlock comes across as very androgynous to me, that's one reason why I find him appealing I guess.
  5. https://images.app.goo.gl/WDR8gkHpZsLrPJuk6 Too bad that the forum won't show the gif directly, but that's exactly my mood right now... 😅
  6. After months of no movies at all, I finally saw "The Nightmare before Christmas". For the first time. Can't believe I missed that one until now, it has everything I love - melancholy, musical, weirdness, animation, Christmas, freaks and outcasts, humor and the Tim Burton aesthetic. 10/10 for me. Seriously. Especially right now.
  7. Sure - trecking / outdoor pants and polo shirts. Tucked in. With hiking boots. I'd look as if I was about to explore the wilderness, redo my garden - or go to work! It just wouldn't be the same thing... Wouldn't have the same effect. I've tried actually to buy more pants and skirts with a natural to high waistline and tuck tops in but the result was awkward, I looked as if I thought I was 50 years older than I am. It's probably not the clothes anyway but me. I'm a different person at work and she's just a lot more calm and secure... And I think I feel like there's a constant expectation for me to be pretty, (that I'm constantly disappointing) just because I'm female, unless I'm at work where suddenly nobody cares about my looks at all, myself included. (I do wish fashion had a solution for women's clothing that allowed for more pockets though... I love, love, love all the pockets on my work pants, they hold all my stuff and keep it just where my hands fall naturally. It's so convenient!)
  8. I'm working today... And you know what, I really don't mind. I like my job, I'm glad I have a job, and I was just thinking as I passed a mirror that no other clothes make me feel as comfortable and just plain "right" as my work uniform. In my private life I have a bagillion body image issues and constantly tug and pull at my clothes but at work, everything fits, functions and makes me look like a responsible adult. It's just like Molly Hooper always looking a little frumpy and awkward in her outfits (which I nonetheless love and would for the most part wear), but competent and put together in her lab coat. Sometimes, I wish Molly had her own show. It would have to revolve around pathology of course. I would binge watch it!
  9. I do think the fact that sex or sexual desire is not part of a relationship should not lessen the value of that connection or make anyone take it less seriously. But the opposite is true as well, imho. I don't consider anyone's love less beautiful just because they also want to bang the person they're in love with. With Sherlock and Irene, my personal impression is that they do have a lot of sexual tension but I can't really imagine them meeting up just to have sex, I think they'd both find that way too boring. My headcanon is that they have a standing affair where they play intricate, dangerous games with more or less overt sexual undertones but hardly ever touch each other. As for John, there's zero evidence on screen for me that he's into Sherlock sexually and I take his word for it that he's not gay. And I still see his and Sherlock's as a love story and one of my favorite love stories too. If some fans think it would be a better story if the boys went to bed with each other, that's fine with me, and I feel sorry for them that they were perhaps disappointed. But just for myself, I'm perfectly happy with the way things turned out.
  10. I think it's really rude to ask people why they do or don't want / have kids, a partner, etc. The if questions are ok imho, that's just smalltalk, but why is no one's business. In my experience, there's no pleasing certain people either. If you have a partner, then why aren't you married. If you're married, then why don't you have kids. If you have kids then why don't you have more kids and if you have more kids then why do you have so many kids. Etc etc etc. As for heteronormativity, since heterosexual relationships are statistically the majority, I personally think it's acceptable to assume that as the default but when dealing with strangers, I usually try to stick to neutral phrasing like "are you in a relationship or are you single?" etc so that people don't assume I would respond badly to any answer outside the statistical "norm". Funnily enough, the one time I wasn't careful last month and just spouted something about "your wife" to a guy, I got a sour smile and "my husband!" back, so... 😅
  11. This is the book I read: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darkly_Dreaming_Dexter According to the article, the first season of the TV series was based on it. I got it from the library while I was at university, mainly because it was one of the few English books available there that I didn't know yet and weren't trite romance novels.
  12. I read the first book (are those based on the series or is the series an adaptation of the books Btw?), and while I found the premise interesting, it soon got too gory for me. Wouldn't read it again and wouldn't continue the series but I also don't regret those reading hours.
  13. I see a lot of of faux fur (well, supposedly faux) but the only real fur on clothes I've ever seen was in museums or my grandparents' closets from like the fifties or older. With very few exceptions, I dislike the look of it. Even if I can be 100% sure it's fake, I refuse to wear it. It's just not my style. I used to think that there was some kind of moral consensus that wearing real fur is wrong these days but so many things seem to be acceptable again (see: politics...) that it's no surprise to me that I was wrong there as well.
  14. So... How's everybody doing during this madness?
  15. That's my impression as well. Also that Molly's gotten to a point where she's okay with this state of things because she loves him as he is and to be her boyfriend, he'd have to change too much.
  16. All the blue and green toothbrushes had monsters on them. I am sure some kinds like monsters but I would have been terrified of them when I was little and blue was already my favorite color back then so I would have been unhappy with the selection as well. My husband suggested I "at least" try it on and fortunately, it didn't fit. So I told her that it wasn't my size despite what the label says and she agreed to take it back. I don't know what she plans on doing with it but tbh, I don't care either as long as I am rid of it. Exactly! It's dumb and as you pointed out, totally arbitrary anyway if you look at how it changes over time. I think it's such a difficult, fine line to walk between encouraging a child to be themselves and protecting them from perhaps avoidable harassment. On the one hand, I think lots of social norms are stupid and it shouldn't be his job to prevent bullying because it's the bullies who are doing something wrong here and not himself. On the other hand, I have to acknowledge that the world works in a certain way, like it or not, and I don't want to be the clueless mom whose kid never has a chance to fit in. The way we resolved this particular problem btw was by me finding one single yellow toothbrush with the desired character on it eventually, with only a little bit of pink around the edges. The first day he went to daycare with it, he had second thoughts when I dropped him off and clung to my legs and cried but apparently, nobody said anything because today the world was fine and I am sure the toothbrush will be so covered in toothpaste soon that nobody can tell what the original colors were anyway... (The new forum software doesn't seem to have a multiquote option, right?)
  17. Don't you love it when other people decide what you need...? My rant of the day is a mommy rant: gendered kids' products. My little son has the misfortune of liking a children's book character who is a little girl and apparently, advertising people have decided that's reason enough to market any associated products exclusively to girls. Now, of course my standpoint is let the kid wear, use and play with whatever he likes as long as it's safe and age appropriate, but I remember being bullied myself a little too well not to worry. Especially since he's already showing signs of having received negative attention for this. We spent 15 minutes at the drug store yesterday looking for a toothbrush for daycare that wasn't pink but still had the picture that he wanted (and before you say wow, your kid sounds spoiled, let me assure you I am aware and to quote my mom: "in our family, we call that indulged."). And not because I objected to pink. I saw his little hand reach out, retreat, reach out, retreat, the little brain obviously going "I want this but it will get me teased, what do I do?" and I felt so frustrated. He's three. Three! He shouldn't have to worry about this sort of thing at all! What the heck is wrong with people?!?
  18. In German, your family doctor or GP is called a "Hausarzt", literally "house doctor", so I assumed that was who she meant... What did you mean, J.P.?
  19. Your doctor refuses to wear a mask?! Did he say why? Does he think it's all a pharma conspiracy too or what? I can understand that the situation is so overwhelming for the general public that some people resort to complete distrust and disbelief but a medical professional...? Were you able to find a new GP at least? The masks don't bother me at all btw, it's just a bit of a hassle trying to drink enough at work. Sanitize hands, take off mask, put mask in designated spot, take sip from water bottle, sanitize hands, put mask back on, sanitize hands, clean designated spot... Too often I don't feel like I have the time for that and end up dehydrated at the end of a shift. But otherwise, personally, I don't need 100% rock solid evidence that masks are effective to wear one atm. I think it's enough that the practice is most likely effective because the disadvantages are minimal. Cost, ok, but even FFPs etc have become cheaper now and we spend a lot more on stuff where the benefit is less certain.
  20. But what if she then goes and gets me another one? I read an article a while ago that said "faux" fur is actually often real because that's cheaper than synthetic material. Since then, I boycott all fur no matter what the label says. I also don't like the look of it. Like, not at all.
  21. So... I just got back from a work trip, was gone all weekend. And what do I find when I come home? That a family member who shall remain nameless has, unasked and unprompted, bought me a hideous coat with hideous (hopefully faux!) fur. Or rather bought it on my behalf, because she expects me to pay her back for this... thing... That I wouldn't even want as a gift. And it can't be returned because it was on sale. Which is why she got it, it was "such a great bargain". I am speechless. All I can hope for is that global warming will give me enough excuses to never wear it.
  22. That's the simple and sane way of explaining it... The Carol way!
  23. That's true. It's hard to explain. Usually, I have a very low tolerance for violence, on and off screen alike. Shows like Game of Thrones are way outside my comfort zone for example. I even have to look away during some superhero movie fights. What I couldn't stand on Sherlock was the beginning of The Empty Hearse. Ugh, I always skip that torture scene when I'm rewatching. And I cannot forgive Mycroft for his smug enjoyment of it either. That. to me, was way worse than John lashing out, because John just lost it while Mycroft was totally in control of both the situation and his own emotions (or rather lack thereof). What I do enjoy however, in fiction and fiction only, are complicated, messed up and often unhealthy relationships. Harely and Joker, like I said, for example. Or Jamie and Cercei Lannister, to list another extreme. Irene Adler and Sherlock. But not just in a romantic sense. It also applies to fictional friendships and families. Half my movie collection is "dysfunctional family drama" or "disturbed teenagers doing disturbing shit". Don't ask me why. It just seems to be the way my brain is wired.
  24. Yes, I think he does / did look up to John that way. Which made it even harder for John when he found himself thinking, feeling and behaving differently. Imho, series 4 has many faults but what I love it for is the message that a person's worth and worthiness of love (in whatever form) doesn't / shouldn't all come from their abilities or achievements. Sherlock isn't only lovable because he's brilliant and John isn't only lovable because he's honorable. They have intrinsic value just as people and they learn to like each other just as people even if they're sometimes stupid or mean, as people are wont to be sometimes. I'm not saying there aren't limits and we should IRL forgive anything and everything all the time and stay friends with people who hurt us. If for you what John did crosses a line, even in fiction, that's really fine and understandable. For me, Sherlock's suicide charade, the two year absence and completely inappropriate behavior upon returning was already so appalling that I believe if they were real people, John shouldn't ever have let him into his life again. However, I can tolerate a lot more unhealthy shit on TV than IRL (and really like it there too to be quite honest), so in this case, I think it makes sense that John would have an extreme reaction sooner or later. And I'm not surprised it took the form of violence. Or that he was about to cut ties completely, even if it meant leaving Sherlock to die. It's unrealistic that their friendship can mend from all this incredible mess but what else is fiction for if not to make the impossible possible? I got the impression that Sherlock kind of knew that John needed to get a lot of anger and resentment out of his system and he kind of volunteered to be the punching bag. Maybe that was even his way of dealing with his own guilt. It's not exactly a strategy that I would recommend to actual living people but in this case - yeah, ok. Pass me the popcorn and the tissues. (Just for perspective, I am a person who enjoys the relationship between Harley Quinn and the Joker too so... I'm clearly a bit messed up. But I swear I have wayyyy different standards for people IRL and I do think I can see real abuse and don't romanticise it. I had the good luck to grow up in a pretty happy home, have pretty decent friends and marry a very decent man, so I guess I can afford to enjoy F***ed up fiction. I'm aware that not everyone can or wants to and that's very understandable and ok!)
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