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209bc33bd45b30c32c7c9d83003c0e75-thanksg

 

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I'm afraid my mood's tending more towards the latter at the moment. :( 

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Why’s that, Arcadia?  :(  (Same, btw.)

 

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Oh, just being in grumpy introvert mode. Going to my nephew's house, which is only an hour away, but it all just seems like so much effort at the moment. :rolleyes: I'll enjoy myself once I'm there, I'm just a real crank about getting ready to go places. (You should see me in the hour before I leave to teach class.) I'm taking a six-pack of beer along, that should liven things up. :smile: 

Then on Saturday I have to drive four hours down to my brother's house, and there's a whole set of issues there that I won't go into. The things I do to help keep the family together, sigh..... (I love my family bunches or I wouldn't do it, btw...)

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16 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

There are some reservations in eastern states, but some eastern tribes were forcibly relocated further west.  There are also a few cases where members of a tribe pooled their resources and bought land further east than the US government wanted to put them.

Well, as fate would have it, there's a long article about one of those tribes in the Washington Post this morning. Link here, but I'm not sure anyone without a subscription can read it, so here's the points relating to my question:

The Rappahannock Tribe lived west of the original settlers, and stayed apart. But as the newcomers moved west, the tribe lost their traditional lands and scattered.

There was no Rappahannock reservation. The article mentions a Pamunkey tribe, which "carved out a reservation in the late 1600s", which is an interesting way of putting it … I'm used to thinking of the Indians being forced onto reservations, not "carving them out" themselves. No further information on what that actually means.

Later it says the members of the tribe scattered during the Civil War, I'm not sure if that's the same scattering referred to above. In 1921, one of the tribe members, who had been trying to regather other members, officially incorporated the Rappahannock Tribe. Meanwhile, the state of Virginia was actively trying to erase "Native American" as a separate race, so a lot of tribal records were lost, making it more difficult for the Rappahannock to establish their unique identity. However, they finally won state recognition in 1983 and the feds recognized them this year. I assume certain protections or special status comes with that recognition, but I don't know any details.

They managed to acquire some historic property, have established a cultural center, and are working to rebuild their numbers. As of the writing of the article, about 120 "official" members lived in the area, with another 120 living elsewhere. 

***

On a side note, I know they've recently put a lot of effort into researching the Native American influence on local history sites, such as the Civil War battlefields. You can now walk around and learn a little bit about what the land and culture were like before the Europeans overran everything. They've found old settlements and burial grounds and such. Some of it's pretty interesting. They've found a stone cistern on Bull Run Mountain - still intact - that's quite beautiful, e.g. Alas, I forget the name of the tribe that lived there.

 

 

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The two land-owning tribes that I'm aware of are the Meskwaki of Tama County Iowa (which I've known about ever since I lived in the area) and the Cherokees of the Qualla Boundary in North Carolina (which I learned about just recently from a Google Doodle).  (And of course there may be others.)

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9 hours ago, Arcadia said:

Oh, just being in grumpy introvert mode. Going to my nephew's house, which is only an hour away, but it all just seems like so much effort at the moment. :rolleyes: I'll enjoy myself once I'm there, I'm just a real crank about getting ready to go places. (You should see me in the hour before I leave to teach class.) I'm taking a six-pack of beer along, that should liven things up. :smile: 

Then on Saturday I have to drive four hours down to my brother's house, and there's a whole set of issues there that I won't go into. The things I do to help keep the family together, sigh..... (I love my family bunches or I wouldn't do it, btw...)

Are you the family glue? I can imagine.

Both me and mom are the only girl in the siblings, I'm not sure if it's the gender, but we are the glue for our brothers. Now that all but one mom's siblings are retired, they keep nagging at her to do trips or hang out together, and reluctant to do so themselves when she is not available. But it's kind of cute to see them siblings become best friends at this age. Now I'm hogging her, she is at my place now.

I always wonder how similar yet different we are. We have similar temperament and ways to get things done, same anger and social issue. Dad always says 'Just like your mom!' when he finds me close to destroying something out of anger when it's not working. I remember our pvc sliding door being stuck time and again, and one day I couldn't take it anymore. I took the door out from the wall and trying to 'nicely' fix it to no avail, and by the time my dad got home I was hammering it with the blunt end of huge chopping knife (not a good choice but the best I could find in kitchen where the door was located). Apparently it was a dejavu for Dad as he found mom in exactly the same scenario. :P

The glaring difference is that she is very compassionate; she would cry hearing sob stories, teve or real life or even watching soapy drama while the best I could do is not rolling my eyes provided I believe the sob stories are genuine. That brings me to next one; she doesn't seem to have trust issue like me, and based on life experiences, she should be much more jaded in dealing with human unreliability than me. And eventhough she doesn't seek social interaction actively, like me, she is much more willing to put up with socializing when being asked, or for the sake of politeness, while I thrive at being known as the impolite one with no manner and anti social. GASP, so she is a much better person than me!! Do you guys inherit or having similar characters to your parents or siblings?

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9 hours ago, Arcadia said:

Oh, just being in grumpy introvert mode.

Yeah, I understand.  I would have felt the same way.

I started out grumpy because everywhere I went I heard nothing but complaining about the holiday.  Just try to enjoy it people, will you?  Jeez.  Then I was grumpy because of loneliness.  My brother and his family are at his in-laws' house, as usual; my dad is at his sister's, as usual; and my mom is at her boyfriend's family's party.  So it's a little lonesome, especially seeing everyone else with their families.  (But I probably would have been grumpy after seeing my family too, so...)  Then I was grumpy because I decided to get out of the house and see a movie, but it was super crowded.  The seat next to me was supposed to be empty, but a guy came in at the last minute and sat on my coat.  He was stinky, so I had to deal with that for the whole film, plus I was getting really bad vibes from him.  People were texting and taking pictures of the theater during the movie, and someone answered their phone and talked for a few minutes.  It was very rude and annoying.  Then on the way home, I saw a cat get run over.  So now I'm grumpy and sad.

I guess no matter what, I probably would have been grumpy.

 

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On 11/22/2018 at 8:53 PM, Van Buren Supernova said:

Do you guys inherit or having similar characters to your parents or siblings?

Yes, I recognize several of my parents' traits in myself and in my brothers (like you, I'm the only girl).  I find it amusing that my kid brother is very critical of our late father for his conviction that he was right and the rest of the world was wrong -- a trait that Baby Bro has in spades.  I think he doesn't realize it (despite me helpfully pointing it out :D) because he's not "right" about the same things as Daddy was.

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On ‎11‎/‎22‎/‎2018 at 8:53 PM, Van Buren Supernova said:

Are you the family glue? I can imagine.

Not really … except by default. That was always my mom and my sister, and since they can't do it anymore, it's up to my brother and I, and neither of us is very good at it … it takes more energy than we want to expend. His oldest son is pretty good at it, but he's out of the country for now, so … pffft. My brother and I take turns putting out some effort, from time to time. :smile: 

Quote

Do you guys inherit or having similar characters to your parents or siblings?

My sis and I took after my Dad, temperamentally … he was the dreamer, more volatile, more restless, moodier. The boys took after Mom … quiet, stable, self-effacing, practical. Although my older brother turned more brooding as he aged; he and Dad and I shared an unfortunate tendency towards depression. The biggest difference there is, I was willing to get help for it. 

Both my parents were quite creative, intellectually curious, and bookish, and we all followed suit. But they were both helpless with gadgets and tools, and us kids are pretty handy with them … I don't know where that came from! 

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On 11/24/2018 at 9:35 PM, Arcadia said:

But they were both helpless with gadgets and tools, and us kids are pretty handy with them … I don't know where that came from! 

ehm.... but you are not using smartphone at this time and place yet..

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1 hour ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

ehm.... but you are not using smartphone at this time and place yet..

Only because I don't have one. 😛 

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On 11/23/2018 at 2:53 AM, Van Buren Supernova said:

Do you guys inherit or having similar characters to your parents or siblings?

I don't have siblings but I do see a lot of my parents in myself. Mostly my father, although when I was in school, the teachers would comment on how many similarities they saw between me and my mom, whom they had way more contact with.

I remember that when I was a kid and I had problems, it seemed like my father would just intuitively understand them even though we never spoke much about serious topics and he is not emotionally expressive (to put it mildly), whereas with my mother, if often seemed like I was talking to a wall. I would become so frustrated because she just would not get it. My dad and I are definitely from the same planet. But diplomatic relations between me and my mother are excellent these days; we resolved most of our conflict after I moved out and now I think we celebrate our differences.

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7 hours ago, T.o.b.y said:

it seemed like my father would just intuitively understand them even though we never spoke much about serious topics and he is not emotionally expressive (to put it mildly), whereas with my mother, if often seemed like I was talking to a wall. I would become so frustrated because she just would not get it. My dad and I are definitely from the same planet.

Yup, same here. Mom was the reliable, steadfast one, but Dad got me as no one else ever has. *sniff*

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9 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

Yup, same here. Mom was the reliable, steadfast one, but Dad got me as no one else ever has. *sniff*

I'm not sure either of my parents *got* me in that way, but I am definitely more like my Dad in my temperament and love for intellectual pursuits.  My father was the reader and the writer in the family and he passed these down to me.  My mom reads magazines, does the crossword in the newspaper and has HGTV on pretty much 24/7.  She may read an actual book maybe once every 3-5 years.  Apart from a diet book I gave her last year,  I believe The Help is the last book she read.  My dad would be gratified to know that there are now two librarians in the family.  

Once I was having a tense conversation with my mom.  I only see her in person two or three times a year at most, and I can't remember now what the disagreement was about, but she flung out, "You are just  like Dad!"  She meant to wound me with that, I guess.  My parents' relationship lasted for 41 years until he passed away but they were very different people and sometimes things got rocky.

I said, as calmly as I could muster, "Thank you.  I consider that a compliment."

That took the wind out of her sails.  

The older I get, the more like my Dad I feel.  As a child I thought he was a grump at Christmastime, muttering about 'rampant materialism' and 'collective insanity.'  Now I am the one muttering these things!

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I don't think any of my parents get me. Mom understand when I'm angry though, but it doesn't go much further than that. But I don't blame them, I think nobody really got me. Sometimes I think I also don't get me, I can't really answer what I actually want or the direction I want to go.

14 hours ago, T.o.b.y said:

My dad and I are definitely from the same planet. But diplomatic relations between me and my mother are excellent these days; we resolved most of our conflict after I moved out and now I think we celebrate our differences.

I know a lot of relationships are actually saved by living apart. That is something that I ponder a lot as well. Back then,  I learned a lot about the phrase of 'man are social creature', but books, are you sure?? really really sure?? Maybe they are right, dang it, because everytime they do the movies about someone being left alone, all they want is company. Dang it. I hate the concept that we can't survive on our own.

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That's why there are forums. :D

 

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Partly.

But following my widowhood last year, my daughter moved out in the Summer...

everyone is  terribly worried about me being on my own, but so far I've survived!

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6 hours ago, besleybean said:

... following my widowhood last year, my daughter moved out in the Summer...

everyone is  terribly worried about me being on my own, but so far I've survived!

So did my mother.  Near as I can figure, she had never lived alone in her entire life -- there had always been family (or for one brief spell, a roommate).  When she lost her husband, she was in her late 70's (though that doesn't sound nearly as old to me now as it did then), and I was worried that she'd be one of those widows who only last about six months.   But she focussed on being able to do things her way for a change, and she did just fine.

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That's good to hear.

But also, you just have to get on with it.

I couldn't have managed without my kids.

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10 hours ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

I hate the concept that we can't survive on our own.

I think that depends on how one defines “on our own”.  Living alone is one thing.  Having no friends, no family, no one to talk to, and no support, is another.  Being entirely isolated from human contact is yet another.  There are many different ways of being “on one’s own”, some more extreme than others, some easier to live with than others.  In my experience, most people who talk about being fine on their own are only alone in one respect or two, rather than many or every, or simply mean that they enjoy some “alone time”.

 

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32 minutes ago, Artemis said:

I think that depends on how one defines “on our own”.  Living alone is one thing.  Having no friends, no family, no one to talk to, and no support, is another.  Being entirely isolated from human contact is yet another.  There are many different ways of being “on one’s own”, some more extreme than others, some easier to live with than others.  In my experience, most people who talk about being fine on their own are only alone in one respect or two, rather than many or every, or simply mean that they enjoy some “alone time”.

 

Here, here.  Or is it hear, hear? I love living alone. But I'm certainly not without friends and family.

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"Hear, hear" is the expression.  :smile:

 

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I've never been sure about  it. Now I know. Thanks!

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