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Just today, it occurred to me that I haven't had any "spam" phone calls for a few weeks.  ("This is Monica from Your Credit Card Company" or "There is a problem with your Windows computer.")  Apparently those rooms of wall-to-wall telephones are closed for the duration -- the silver lining on the current cloud!

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22 minutes ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

Just today, it occurred to me that I haven't had any "spam" phone calls for a few weeks.

Wish I could say the same!

 

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8 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

Just today, it occurred to me that I haven't had any "spam" phone calls for a few weeks.  ("This is Monica from Your Credit Card Company" or "There is a problem with your Windows computer.")  Apparently those rooms of wall-to-wall telephones are closed for the duration -- the silver lining on the current cloud!

Mine disappeared for a few weeks but are starting up again now.

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Meanwhile, I have a guy on facebook shouting at me...

what is wrong with people?

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19 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:


Well, if people watching sports on TV was what he actually had in mind (rather than attending the games in person), then I think he has a point (though "too much to ask" seems overly dramatic!).  It would give people some excitement while they're required to stay home.  On the other hand, it does raise questions -- as J.P. pointed out -- regarding risks of the virus spreading through the league, and the expense of minimizing those risks.  But it might be worth looking into.

Aren't German schools currently being conducted via the internet and/or take-home lesson plans, worksheets, etc.?  That's apparently what's being done most places in the US right now -- not the same thing as in-person school, of course, but some kids might actually do better this way.

Depends on their age and abilities... I would have loved it probably and never wanted school to open ever again. Getting an education at my own pace without having to deal with the bullying and drama, meeting only whom I want to occasionally and getting personalized feedback from the teachers online? Yes please! 😂 

But I doubt it would have worked for 90% of my classmates. 

How much (or little) the kids are offered right now varies greatly from school to school. Overall, it doesn't appear to be much... Germany has neglected equipping public schools for the digital age so the options are limited for most. 

And then there are the really small kids who can't be left to themselves yet. That's a whole other can of worms. Around here, unless you have a really high paying job, a family can't live off of only one income so parents are dependent on daycare or some other form of help to make a living. But daycares are closed atm, grandparents aren't supposed to visit and social distancing has destroyed many other informal support networks. 

It's a bit of a problem... 

But as long as we have soccer and the shopping malls open again, everything is apparently juuuuust fiiiine. 🙄

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21 minutes ago, besleybean said:

what is wrong with people?

 

Everything, I'm afraid… :(

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11 minutes ago, T.o.b.y said:

I would have loved it probably and never wanted school to open ever again.

I remember I was gladly sitting still for 8 hours in my mum's office, entertaining myself with some quiet activity instead to go to the kindergarten.
On the other hand, homeschooling would make me into a complete weirdo not knowing how to behave around people and I would surely have huge issues with the self-discipline. I even have them now. didisaythat.gif

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1 hour ago, J.P. said:

I remember I was gladly sitting still for 8 hours in my mum's office, entertaining myself with some quiet activity instead to go to the kindergarten.

Can you teach my son to do that? 😅

I can't work from home but my husband has been trying. Trying... 

Somehow, we failed to pass on our loner genes. The little man had us draw another boy on the sidewalk with chalk and declared "he can be my brother". Poor kid. At least we found a really sweet babysitter for a while. But she'll have classes again soon. 

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12 minutes ago, J.P. said:

troest2.gif

Awwww. Thanks. And thanks for not saying "well, you shouldn't have had a kid" or "well, you should have had more kids". 

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13 hours ago, besleybean said:

Meanwhile, I have a guy on facebook shouting at me...

what is wrong with people?


Any idea why he's shouting at you?  :huh:

  

11 hours ago, T.o.b.y said:

The little man had us draw another boy on the sidewalk with chalk and declared "he can be my brother". Poor kid.


I'm not an only child, but I always wanted a sister.  When my second sibling turned out to be another boy, I was heartbroken.  We both turned out OK, though!

 

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As for me...

well I guess it was my own fault.

Made the mistake of mentioning Michael Moore on Facebook....

which is what launched this guy into a rant at me.

anyhow, he seems to be giving it a rest now.

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I never wanted to be an only child. My father was one of eight, my mother was an only child. They compromised and had five kids lol. I did have a version of the middle child syndrome though. I was not the middle child but I was the middle girl and next to last. So my oldest brother was special for being first, my second brother was outgoing so everyone liked him, my older sister was the first girl and my younger sister was the baby. So I had my moments of self pity and not feeling special. Most of this was in my head I realize now but sometimes it was tough. Thank goodness I had an aunt and two uncle's who I stayed with in the summer and gave me extra attention. Not that my parents weren't great, but with five kids, my dad having a job where he was on the road two hours a day traveling to and from, plus living on a dairy farm there wasn't a lit of time for extras. But I was close to both my parents and lost them when they were relatively young. Looking back I had a terrific childhood and am still close to my siblings. I often wondered how only children handled not having that comradery growing up.

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Dunno, I for one was happy being an only child - probably helps that I've always been an introvert. I had my friends at school and in the neighborhood, and we'd visit each other and play together, but I also treasured having time for myself with only my books for company (and maybe a snoring dog to snuggle against when reading). Having siblings, who from what I saw at friends had a rather loose grasp of the concepts of privacy or wanting to be left alone, would probably have driven me up the wall, so I'm glad my parents gave up after me. :lol:

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My  parents didn't want anymore after my brother and sister...

I am their happy accident!

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I was always glad I never had a sister.  Every girl I knew with a sister fought with them constantly.

I have an older (half-)brother, but growing up I felt more like an only child.  We had very different personalities and life experiences, and we were 5 years apart, so we never really connected or ran in the same circles.  He was a socialite and always out of the house with his friends.  I had no friends, so I was always at home alone.  He was highly favored by both my parents, especially my mom; so we had sort of the classic Golden Child/Scapegoat sibling dynamic.  (I've mentioned that plenty before, so I won't bore you all.  :P )  At the same time, being my father's only biological child, I got more pressure from him to conform to his expectations (which I could never live up to).  My brother resented me because his father died when he was 2.  The resentment was fueled by my mother's unending grief and remarks about how much happier they would have been if his father had lived.  So it wasn't the greatest.

My dad always wanted 4 kids, especially with the goal of having sons, and was greatly disappointed when my mother refused to have more after me.  Sometimes I wonder if I would have been less lonely with more siblings.  Maybe I would have gotten a sibling I had more in common with, or maybe it would have changed the dynamic.  On the other hand, it could have been just as alienating or worse.  I'll never know.

 

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On 4/28/2020 at 2:07 PM, besleybean said:

My  parents didn't want anymore after my brother and sister...

I am their happy accident!

I'm the oldest of just such a family, and I'm really grateful for my "surprise" brother.  He and his wife lived next door to my parents, and in her later years, Mom always said "If he didn't live there, I wouldn't still be living here," because he mowed her grass, shoveled her snow, and repaired whatever broke.  After her eyesight got bad, he also handled her mail and her finances.  She was able to live out her life in her own home.

17 hours ago, Artemis said:

Sometimes I wonder if I would have been less lonely with more siblings.  Maybe I would have gotten a sibling I had more in common with, or maybe it would have changed the dynamic.  On the other hand, it could have been just as alienating or worse.  I'll never know.

None of us will, I guess.  Even though I still think it'd be really neat to have a sister, I've known other people's sisters that I most certainly would NOT have wanted.

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Guys I need your opinion on something, a while ago I posted in the rant topic about that I lost my friend and how I became annoyed that everyone kept saying that things would become okay between us eventually despite the fact that I know she is rather resentful and unforgiving. It turns out that they were right, today she reached out to make amends but I don't know if I should forgive her. But first I'll tell you how I lost my friend.

Last November her mother passed away and I tried to support her as good as I could: I took her to conventions and the cinema. Then she send me a suicide note, I called an ambulance and left my work early despite the fact that I didn't had permission to leave from my supervisor. And next time we met she was mad, said that I supported her wrong when she wanted to be alone. But she never asked me to leave her alone, if she did I would've. Then there is the fact that she accused me of not knowing what the consequences were of my actions, that she would have ended up in a psychiatry which was something she didn't want and that her brother was now extremely worried about her and that was my fault. I knew that she would end up in a psychiatry, I knew her brother would be extremely worried about her, it was a risk I took. She can't tell me I didn't knew what the consequences were of my actions, I left my work early despite the fact that I didn't had permission from my supervisor, which was something I had to apologise for. I knew precisely what the consequences were of my actions.

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Sounds as if she was just attention seeking and you gave her the kind of attention she didn't want or expect. You did the right thing. That said, I would forgive her for your own sake, but limit interactions with her for a good long time. Be polite, but keep her at arms-length. 

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That, in my experience at least, may hurt even more than cutting her off completely, because you keep being reminded of the old camaraderie. YMMV, of course.

Sheerluck is right, you did the right thing and should be proud of yourself. A suicide note is nothing to be taken lightly, and if she sent one just as an attention grab, the fault lies with her, not you. Still, people do weird stuff while grieving, so if you can find it within herself to forgive her, you might want to see if she's back to normal (whatever that may mean in her case) again. Only you can know if you're ready and willing to give her another chance, however.

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My other friends told me the same thing: "You did the right thing." It doesn't change the fact that she threw a hissy fit and cut me out her life. What's worse is that I felt guilty for not saying the right thing or doing the right thing, but after my friends told me that I grew angry. She guilt tripped me and made me feel like I was bad friend and an inconsiderate wanker. How dare she? I did a lot things for her, we were friends for 17,5 year and I considered her a sister, how could she threw that away like it didn't matter to her.

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That sort of behaviour is unacceptable. I would alter my previous statement to forgive her and move the hell on. Who needs that sort of aggro? 

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Fantasy Lover: I'm so sorry that this has happened to you; I would be very upset and confused, if this had happened to me: that's for sure! 

Please take good care.

 

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On 5/2/2020 at 8:57 AM, Fantasy Lover said:

Guys I need your opinion on something, a while ago I posted in the rant topic about that I lost my friend and how I became annoyed that everyone kept saying that things would become okay between us eventually despite the fact that I know she is rather resentful and unforgiving. It turns out that they were right, today she reached out to make amends but I don't know if I should forgive her. But first I'll tell you how I lost my friend.

Last November her mother passed away and I tried to support her as good as I could: I took her to conventions and the cinema. Then she send me a suicide note, I called an ambulance and left my work early despite the fact that I didn't had permission to leave from my supervisor. And next time we met she was mad, said that I supported her wrong when she wanted to be alone. But she never asked me to leave her alone, if she did I would've. Then there is the fact that she accused me of not knowing what the consequences were of my actions, that she would have ended up in a psychiatry which was something she didn't want and that her brother was now extremely worried about her and that was my fault. I knew that she would end up in a psychiatry, I knew her brother would be extremely worried about her, it was a risk I took. She can't tell me I didn't knew what the consequences were of my actions, I left my work early despite the fact that I didn't had permission from my supervisor, which was something I had to apologise for. I knew precisely what the consequences were of my actions.

I my opinion, it sounds like you did the only right thing in that situation. 

From personal experience and after some thought, my stance on that kind of situation is: people have a right to choose what they want to do with their life, even if that means they choose to get rid of it. They do not, however, have the right to burden me (or anybody else) with that decision. If anyone sends me a halfway believable suicide note, I will call an ambulance, period. If they aren't happy with that then don't send me the note. End of story. 

Only you can decide whether you can and want to forgive her and if you want to renew the friendship. Maybe make a list of pros and cons? 

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