The School Shenanigans Thread

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

So school's coming round in a month for me (dunno about everyone else here though) and I just decided that there should be a thread for all of the stories of the crazy crap that happens at school.

 

Let's start with a laugh:

 

During the 2012 presidential elections, there was one day where these kids from my school were marching around a tree chanting "VOTE BROCCOLI OBAMA! BOO ROMMNEY RAISIN!" Then there's a yell from outside the crowd: "VOTE ROMMNEY RAISIN!"

 

The chanters stopped, stared at the kid who yelled, and then started throwing woodchips at him.

[jesskayding]

That's pretty funny. I'm long done with all ah that book learnin' & school'n.

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

Doesn't mean you don't got no stories!

[jesskayding]

Well the funny thing I remember is my freshman year... My foster parent was cooking fish in the morning. I was wearing a brand new outfit. She had like 3 other highschool girls in the house as well. All of us went to our different schools. All of us were made aware by our fellow classmates & teachers that we wreaked of bad fish odor.

 

The non funny part is when we all got home we verbally lashed out @ our foster parent & threw out all of her fish.

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

Haha!

 

One time at lunch I did the totally kiddy thing wherein I pretend a banana is a gun. And then I got my banana confiscated.

[Carol the Dabbler]

You were lucky -- nowadays they'd probably have expelled you for that.  ("Zero tolerance," y'know.)

 

[Arcadia]

I was a perfect student who would NEVER have stooped to "shenanigans".

 

Okay, so I was a big fat wuss who was terrified of getting caught if I ever did anything.

 

Srsly, I can't think of a single incident. I think I've deleted most of school from my hard drive.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I was a nerd before that word even existed.  Here's my big high-school stunt:

 

The electronic calculator had not yet been invented, so the math teacher had a huge simplified slide rule hung over the blackboard, which he would use for demonstrations (not that any of us ever really learned to use one).

 

One day during lunch, I snuck into the math room, pulled the slide rule open, and used chalk to write a smart-ass saying under the slide, where the class would see it next time he used the slide rule.  And being a proto-nerd, of course I wrote it in Latin!

 

[Arcadia]

So, do we get to hear what the smart-ass saying was? (In English, for the ill-educated among us?) Or is it too smart-ass for a family forum?

[Carol the Dabbler]

Well, I had a pretty nerdy idea of what constituted smart-ass!

 

I'm not sure what I wrote on the slide rule, but one of my then-favorite witty sayings was "Ad haec Caesar respondit, 'Cisterna, avis sordida ero!'" -- which sort of translates as "To this Caesar replied, 'Well, I'll be a dirty bird!'"  We were studying Caesar's Gallic Wars (supposedly an autobiography, but written in the third person), in which Caesar was forever prefacing his own quotes in that way.  The "dirty bird" quote is actually from George Gobel.  This was intentionally bad Latin, because the word "cisterna" means "well" as in "hole in the ground."

 

[Arcadia]

Shocking! You were truly a delinquent!

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

Truly worse than my end-of-the-year poker tournament!

[Carol the Dabbler]

Well, now you've gotta tell us about that! 

 

[jesskayding]

Yeah Carol, you were such a miscreant. ^_^

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

The poker tournament ended pretty anticlimactically, with all the money pooled and returned to their owners. Luckily it was too late into the year for suspensions.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Why do I sense that that's not, strictly speaking, the entire story? 

 

[Arcadia]

Because it had an ending, but no beginning or middle?

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

Weeeeeeeeeeell...

 

It started out as Cards Against Humanity. Some buddies and I made a crappy knockoff CAH deck that consisted of unevenly cut white paper and yellow paper. And then we wisely switched to poker before the teachers got too suspicious.

[Arcadia]

Wait ... the teachers allow poker in the classroom, but not CAH? What kind of school do you go to?!?!?!?!?

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

[shrugs and makes I-don't-know sound]

[Arcadia]

What is our youth coming to?

[Carol the Dabbler]

The same thing it's been coming to for the past few thousand years -- no good! 

 

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

One time, I came to school with a sore throat. First hour for me that year was computer class, which was my favorite class (because AO3, Fanfiction.net, Wattpad, etc weren't blocked) but unfortunately was taught by my least favorite teacher. So in the little bit of time between the start of class and said teacher walking in, I coughed into my hands, rubbed them all over her keyboard, mouse, and phone, and then drenched my hands in hand sanitizer afterwards.

 

The next day, we had a substitute.

[jesskayding]

Okay a girl I mentored... She was a freshman & graduating seniors came to school with urine filled super soakers. Need I say more.

 

What's worse no one was held accountable!

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

Jesus christ, that's terrible.   Quick, give me their addresses and about twenty bucks for several dozen eggs!