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Introverts, how is your day?


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15 hours ago, Arcadia said:

Nope, I had the text function disabled years ago on my old phone because I hated receiving texts, and the new flip phone doesn't even have a text function for some reason.

Oh text function was the thing I used the most back then since I hate calls.

 

5 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

Not sure why I went whole-hog and got a smart phone, but it has also been very useful -- as you say, I don't need to mess with my laptop every time I want to go online.  I use only the minimal "minutes" because I make a point of going online only where WiFi is available.

I'm not sure what I'll want to do once I'm back home more or less full time.  Probably won't change much, actually.

I find it very difficult to turn back once I started using smartphone, which is practically fifteen years ago (I really needed it back then), but I find that I can easily set it aside if I'm with people I enjoy being with or doing things that I like. However, on regular day, can't live without it.

 

15 hours ago, Arcadia said:

It's not that I don't need a smart phone … I have a lot of things that I don't "need", like an iPod. But I can't afford the monthly data plans … or at least, I have other things I'd rather spend my money on (like new songs for my iPod. :P ) I have no interest in surfing the 'net from a phone, but I would like to be able to accept online payments with one at my art shows. As it is, I have to lug my laptop to shows and hope for an open wifi signal, or risk not making the sale if they don't have cash or check. But the small number of shows I can do right now doesn't justify the cost of the data plan, soooo...….

I can hook you up with a guy who knows a thing or two about excellent wifi signal any time and any field...

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ring a bell? NO?

 

 

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This definitely does!

 

4 hours ago, Pseudonym said:

His headset wasn't working properly, so he couldn't hear the tutor and didn't realise we could all hear him. So when she sent him a written message to say that yes she was talking and he needed to check his headset his response, again not realising we could hear him, was to yell, "this is F***ing bollocks!" What made it the funniest was the tutors startled noise and that when he was then talking in the chat box he was being all polite and friendly... but we'd heard... we knew the truth... 

I am curious, so that is how online course works? That you all online together at the same time? Sounds practical, I always imagine it that way but somehow someone gave me impression that it is not 'live' so they just send materials through emails. Maybe there are different types.

Question: do you have to show your face to prove your attendance? If yes, do you do those presenter tricks like wearing decent cloth on top but short and slipper underneath? :D

 

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The uni I'm doing my degree with is the biggest uni in the UK, so over the years they've developed a lot of ways to keep things working over distance. Mostly I have a study calendar, a textbook and online media stuff to work through, and regular assignments to submit. For tutorials you can either do face-to-face ones or do them online, where a group of you are in an online meeting room with headsets on, the tutor normally shares their screen and goes through a powerpoint presentation on whatever the topic is and the rest of you can either type or verbally ask questions, so yea, that's live. No webcams though, thank god, most of the tutorials I'm booked in for are in the evenings when I usually look rough AF, after about 6pm my hair tends to get increasingly Medusa like! In my first tutorial the tutor actually admitted to us all she was wearing pajamas. She could have shared her webcam if she wanted but it's not necessary. 

There are some things I'll need to travel to do in person. There is a physical campus a few hundred miles away, next year I'll be going there for a few days to do some lab work, and the year after that I have to do a couple of weeks of residential schools for hands on stuff. 

 

When mobile phones came out I was a bit against them, mostly just because I was a contrary teenager. Now though I have a phone with all the bells and whistles and I use it a lot, though very rarely as an actual phone. I play games on it, use a sat nav app, use the camera, listen to music and audio books, I joined the WhatsApp social group for my course which has become a bit of a lifeline. Texts are fairly rare, and phone calls are rarer still. 

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2 hours ago, Pseudonym said:

Now though I have a phone with all the bells and whistles and I use it a lot, though very rarely as an actual phone. I play games on it, use a sat nav app, use the camera, listen to music and audio books...

For banking, spying at my dog, doing simple photo editing, emails, sherlockforum.com ..... looking for hot gif...

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On 10/18/2018 at 10:32 PM, Van Buren Supernova said:

I am curious, so that is how online course works? That you all online together at the same time? Sounds practical, I always imagine it that way but somehow someone gave me impression that it is not 'live' so they just send materials through emails. Maybe there are different types.

Question: do you have to show your face to prove your attendance?

I've done online courses, and they do vary a little.  In my most recent one, we had lecture meetings via computer much like Pseud, but we did have to show our faces to prove our attendance.  I had to be on camera at all times, or I'd be marked absent.  I had originally wanted online classes because I thought it would be more relaxed, but it is not.

 

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On 10/19/2018 at 5:46 PM, J.P. said:

The smartphone's display is too small for my eyes and too fiddly.

^ Ditto.

I got a smartphone for easier texting (with my ex when he wasn't my ex), but now I barely use it.  But after I paid off the phone, my monthly payment ended up about the same as a pay-as-you-go plan with a dumbphone would be, so I've just kept it.  I probably wouldn't go back to a dumbphone again, just 'cause I've gotten used to the smartphone functions, and there are some apps I use a lot.  I like having a camera handy, and other practical things like weather, notes, alarm, and Google when I really need it.  One of my most used apps is SoundHound, which identifies unknown songs for me.

 

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1 hour ago, Artemis said:

One of my most used apps is SoundHound, which identifies unknown songs for me.

Wow, cool!  How does it work?  Can you sing/hum/whistle the song at it, or does the song have to be online, or what?

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It "listens" for the song that's playing, and (I assume) finds it from a database.  It's pretty good, it's recognized almost every song I've used it for except when the music was too faint for it to hear.  They didn't have a sing/hum/whistle option before, but I noticed that they recently added a widget for that, so it might be a new feature.  I haven't tried it yet, but it would be really helpful if it works.

 

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So it's mostly for cases where they're playing music in a restaurant or waiting room, or on one of those annoying radio stations that don't tell you what the songs are?  That would be nice too.  Does it identify the exact recording, or just the song itself?

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My (half-)brother is becoming famous.  Some random people at a concert this weekend recognized him and asked for a picture with him.  I Googled his name (which isn't super uncommon) and he's the first to come up; he takes up the whole first page or two of results.  It's a little weird for me, but I guess I'm not surprised.  He's always been a little famous, lol.  He's charming, memorable, and popular; people seek his approval.  (Side story: Not too long ago, a woman came up to him while he was out, extremely excited to see him.  When she left I asked him who she was, and he said, "I don't know.  She said we talked for a few minutes at a gas station like 10 years ago.")  He gets free coffee at Starbucks, just because he's him, lol.  Basically he's the opposite of me, lol.

Anyway, I'm glad to see him successful, but at the same time I'm feeling a little depressed about my own life in comparison.  He's got great friends, a great marriage, a great job that he loves, almost no financial difficulties because of all the things that come free to him (which has enabled him to start businesses); opportunities and good experiences are practically thrown at him.  I'm not jealous of his growing fame, I would never want to be famous.  It's just that he's always doing so well in life, with so little effort, whereas I'm constantly struggling in every respect.  Every time I see my mom, she just shows me videos of my brother and talks about how wonderful he is (and how not wonderful I am), and how special he was even as a child, and how maybe she was put on this earth just to give birth to him.  I'd like to make my parents proud, too... though honestly I don't know if that could ever happen no matter what I do.

 

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1 hour ago, Artemis said:

I'd like to make my parents proud, too... though honestly I don't know if that could ever happen no matter what I do.

*sigh"  I know what you mean (even though I'm the oldest, and my kid brother says Daddy used to tell him he should be more like me :nope_sad: ).  Seems like no matter what I did, my parents just took it for granted (e.g., I won a really great scholarship and Mom very calmly said "That's nice, dear.")  I'm still not sure whether to think that A} they didn't want me to get a swelled head, or B} they were disappointed that I didn't get married right away, settle down in Indiana, and have kids.  And it *still* bugs me, even though my father is long gone and Mom barely remembers who I am (or, some days, who she is).

I must say, though, that your mother shows pretty poor judgment in saying those things to you about your "wonderful" brother.  Even if she really does feel that way, that's incredibly thoughtless.

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On 10/21/2018 at 3:55 AM, Carol the Dabbler said:

Seems like no matter what I did, my parents just took it for granted (e.g., I won a really great scholarship and Mom very calmly said "That's nice, dear.")  I'm still not sure whether to think that A} they didn't want me to get a swelled head, or B} they were disappointed that I didn't get married right away, settle down in Indiana, and have kids.  And it *still* bugs me, even though my father is long gone and Mom barely remembers who I am (or, some days, who she is).

It's the same with me and my parents.  I was always a very well-behaved and obedient child, which never fails to be overlooked.  Meanwhile, my parents were bribing my brother with rewards to elicit the same respect that I was giving them, unacknowledged, for free.  Straight-A student: No comment.  Graduated with honors: No comment.  College scholarship: No comment.  Honor Society: No comment.  I did things I hated, just in hopes of making them happy.  My dad wanted me in sports, so I joined the volleyball team (which was the only girls' sport at my school at the time), even though I can't stand sports and really stink at them.  But, it "doesn't count", because I "only" did it for 2 years, and it wasn't like being on a "real" team.

One of the things that bothered me most was that no one came to my college graduation.  My college years were pure hell, and I did it all alone, and the fact that I held on to my determination to graduate long enough to make it to the end was amazing, truth be told.  But walking across the stage for my degree was awful.  Literally *everyone* had people there cheering for them as they walked across; but when my name was called, the entire auditorium was dead silent.  The only sound was my footfalls on the stage, echoing through the auditorium.  It was the worst feeling.  No one in my family cared enough to be there, and in fact my dad has always chided me for choosing the "wrong" college (i.e. not the one he wanted me to go to) and the "wrong" degree (i.e. not computer science or accounting).

When I started looking into going back to school, I told my admissions counselor that I already had a Bachelor's, and she said, "That's a major accomplishment, you should be very proud of that."  At first it came as a shock, and all I could say was "...Really?"  I had never perceived it as an achievement, because it was never treated that way.  After that I couldn't speak for a bit; I was holding back a wave of emotion, because it hit me that I had never heard those words.  No one had ever told me to be proud of myself before.  If anything, it was made out to be something I should regret and feel bad about.

The year after I graduated, my family was having Christmas together.  My brother went outside for some air, and I decided to join him.  He was talking a little about something I forget now.  But in the middle of his speech, just on the offhand, like it was the most obvious thing in the world and no big deal at all, he threw in, "I know Mom has given up on you."  I was really confused and taken aback by that, and later, really hurt.  I decided then to try not to care about disappointing my parents anymore, but I'm not always very successful in that.

On 10/21/2018 at 3:55 AM, Carol the Dabbler said:

I must say, though, that your mother shows pretty poor judgment in saying those things to you about your "wonderful" brother.  Even if she really does feel that way, that's incredibly thoughtless.

She says a lot of thoughtless things, I'm basically just an emotional vent for her (when I'm not being a scapegoat).  I saw her last weekend for dinner, and after criticizing me for not trying hard enough to get married, she essentially told me that she wished she had never married my dad, and that my being born wasn't worth it.  Because I still would have been born if she'd married somebody else, I just wouldn't have been "me".  :bemused:

 

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Ha, this scene from Thor: Ragnarok just popped up on my Tumblr dash, and it's so apropos right now.  This is going to be me and my brother someday if we ever go somewhere together.
 

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Pictured: Me, out of view, rolling my eyes.

 

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My parents were pretty good, actually, now that you mention it.  They were just so matter-of-fact about everything that it felt like they were ignoring my accomplishments.  Of course I went to the college they wanted, mostly because I had no real reason for wanting the college I wanted (though it turned out I was right, it was a much better school, and presumably the same price, because they're both state schools).  And I majored in an acceptably girlie field, teaching.  But I assume they'd have come to my graduation in any case, simply because that's what parents do.

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My experience is nothing compared to yours, Artemis, but I do remember getting really frustrated in high school because it seemed like my parents didn't acknowledge my accomplishments at all either. One night, my father actually took my homework away from me and sent me to bed, saying "enough, you need your beauty sleep". I got so angry. I remember yelling at him: "You would never say that if I were a boy!" 

Only much later did I realize that they were simply worried about me working too hard. And, probably based on experiences of their own, they were terrified of being "pushy" parents, so they overcompensated and became the opposite. It's probably for the best in the end. I do not perform well under pressure and I learned very early to do things for myself and seek little outside validation. 

Of course we all need some kind of positive feedback from our parents. And we need to feel loved by them. If that is lacking, things just suck no matter how mature or self-sufficient you are. I feel for you, Artemis, it sounds like you had a really hard time. 

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On 10/19/2018 at 5:05 PM, Van Buren Supernova said:

For banking, ...... looking for hot gif...

 

On 10/19/2018 at 7:56 PM, Pseudonym said:

Of course, hot could I forget looking at hot gifs!

I just have to point out about how selfless I am and how selfish you are. :D

58Lp.gif

 

22 hours ago, Artemis said:

One of my most used apps is SoundHound, which identifies unknown songs for me.

I used Shazam apps for that, and it works well, but uninstalled it because I didn't need it often and it takes too much space in my old phone.

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11 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

My parents were pretty good, actually, now that you mention it.  They were just so matter-of-fact about everything that it felt like they were ignoring my accomplishments. 

Yeah, I recognize that. Not my dad, so much, but my mom, definitely; nothing seemed to impress her. It was only a few years ago that I began to think that was, in her way, a compliment … of course her children were brilliant, so why did she need to acknowledge it! :smile: 

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12 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

They were just so matter-of-fact about everything that it felt like they were ignoring my accomplishments.

My parents have a matter-of-factness that way too.  Their philosophy is basically that doing your best is the minimum you should be doing anyway, so it doesn't need to be rewarded, celebrated, or acknowledged.  I guess my brother is their exception to that, lol.

My dad tends to be very matter-of-fact about emotions, too.  All "I love you's" are met with "That's nice," or "Okay," lol.

10 hours ago, T.o.b.y said:

And, probably based on experiences of their own, they were terrified of being "pushy" parents, so they overcompensated and became the opposite. It's probably for the best in the end. I do not perform well under pressure and I learned very early to do things for myself and seek little outside validation.

Same here.  My parents left me to my own devices at an early age, and in a way that was probably a good thing (or at least preferable to the alternative extreme), because I don't perform well under pressure or micromanagement either.

I don't think my parents have intended anything they've said to me to be malicious.  They just don't seem to consider my feelings at all.  Which still hurts almost as much, but... at least they don't mean to be cruel.  I don't hold my childhood against them, they probably tried their best.  It's just that everything was dysfunctional from the beginning.  There are so many contributing factors, but the root of it is that they married for the wrong reasons, which resulted in an unhappy marriage for the both of them and subsequently a lifetime of dashed dreams.  I just happen to be the embodiment of that, so I'm sort of treated as a receptacle for those feelings too.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that that's what's going on and it's not really my fault, and accept that I will probably never make them happy or proud, much less be understood or embraced for who I am.

I'm honestly not sure if they love me.  I assume they do, but I don't feel that from them, so it's hard to say so with confidence.  But I know they don't like me, and it's not the greatest feeling being around people who you know think little of you and don't care for your company.

 

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13 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

And I majored in an acceptably girlie field, teaching.

My mom really wanted me to be a girly girl, and tried to push me into girly dress, activities, and behavior my whole childhood.  (She still tries, honestly.)  My dad went back and forth between wanting me to be girly (because I am a girl so that's what I'm "supposed" to be), and wanting me to be a tomboy (because he wanted a son).  Unfortunately for the both of them, I was neither.  "Gender neutral" is probably a more accurate way of describing me, so I never met up to either of their ideals.

I also majored in teaching, to an extent.  My primary major area of study was Psychology, but I was double majoring in English on a Communication Arts and Literature Education track, a degree with which you can become a high school English teacher in my state (after licensure).  Due to bad advising and a series of screw-ups on the part of my college, I ended up taking a bunch of "wrong" classes in my English major, and ran out of money to take the "right" classes before I graduated.  So I had to drop the Education track my senior year, and accept an English minor, even though I technically completed far beyond the number of English classes required for a major.

 

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54 minutes ago, Artemis said:

... they married for the wrong reasons, which resulted in an unhappy marriage for the both of them and subsequently a lifetime of dashed dreams.  I just happen to be the embodiment of that....

Well then, there's no way that you could ever be successful or even acceptable to them, so there's no point trying.  That could be kind of liberating  in a wsy.  To paraphrase Rick Nelson, you can't please your parents, so you've got to please yourself.

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36 minutes ago, Artemis said:

My primary major area of study was Psychology, but I was double majoring in English on a Communication Arts and Literature Education track, a degree with which you can become a high school English teacher in my state (after licensure).  Due to bad advising and a series of screw-ups on the part of my college, I ended up taking a bunch of "wrong" classes in my English major, and ran out of money to take the "right" classes before I graduated. 

So what kind of job did you end up with, if you couldn't teach?

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Ooooh, this and that.  It's a rather long story.  Teaching wasn't actually my main goal, though I have always been passionate about education; I just wanted the option, and it paired nicely with my career path at the time.

 

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Does anyone else ever get  get asked to help someone (a stranger) and then feel guilty for hours afterwards that they didn't do it well enough? Just helped an old guy cross the road and now feel bad that I didn't wait for a longer pause in the traffic and that my friendly, jokey comment might have been taken the wrong way. Last week I had to get milk off a shelf for an old lady, which I never get asked to do because I'm tiny, and after I gave it to her she just stood there smiling, she didn't disengage. So asked if she needed more, she said no, still smiling and engaged so I smiled awkwardly and just sort of walked off. Then felt guilty because it's like she was hoping for more... was she lonely and hoping for a longer conversation? If so why choose me, I don't think I'm particularly friendly looking, in public I think I mainly look stressed or annoyed.  

*stumped... and guilt ridden*

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