Introverts, how is your day?

[Carol the Dabbler]

3 hours ago, Arcadia said:

On the other hand, if you're on the right wavelength with the person you're venting to, or being vented at by, it can be quite therapeutic for both of you. And yes, I realize that "being vented at by" is horrible grammar, but I'm too tired to do it correctly.  

It may not be *textbook* grammar -- but it's the way English actually works.

[Artemis]

I don’t always adhere to formal grammar rules either, lol.  When I’m writing a paper or something else that requires formal writing, I’ll do my best.  But here and everywhere else, I usually use my informal writing voice, which is something more equivalent to how I think I would sound if I were speaking.  Some grammar rules actually sound preposterous if strictly followed, for instance “never end a sentence with a preposition.”

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

16 hours ago, Arcadia said:

Sounds to me like she's just venting to a neutral party. Which I do too, for reasons that would take too long to describe. But sometimes I regret ever having learned to vent, because I've been on the receiving end, and boy, it can get tedious to sit there and listen to someone whine. I hate to think how many people I may have bored over the years.

 

12 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

Me too. 

 

4 hours ago, Arcadia said:

On the other hand, if you're on the right wavelength with the person you're venting to, or being vented at by, it can be quite therapeutic for both of you. And yes, I realize that "being vented at by" is horrible grammar, but I'm too tired to do it correctly.  

I always expect that when someone vent to me, they need a solution, so I'd try to give a solution. Which I know well that most time they only want listening ears. But being a jerk I am, I can't help but pinpoint on where they should fix the problem, because sometimes it's difficult to understand the situation that people put themselves to, and being miserable by it, especially when the reason is just for politeness and to look good. There are cases when people are indeed miserable because they have no choice and I sympathize with that, but not the other.

The only way I could hold my tongue is by being quiet, but it doesn't work too, because they would then insist of asking me so I'd tell them and even close to berate them. You'd think they would stop venting to me, but noooo, so I guess something must be working. Maybe they do want to know my real opinion when they are already bored with sympathy they get from others?

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind 'being vented at' about problem or misfortune or misery. I think I'm just specifically annoyed with the above example, a totally light unimportant situational thingy that is totally preventable when you want to (I know, I know, it's 'important' to them, yah, to look good and dutiful unlike my barbarian attitude).

[Van Buren Supernova]

51 minutes ago, Artemis said:

I don’t always adhere to formal grammar rules either, lol.  When I’m writing a paper or something else that requires formal writing, I’ll do my best.  But here and everywhere else, I usually use my informal writing voice, which is something more equivalent to how I think I would sound if I were speaking.  Some grammar rules actually sound preposterous if strictly followed, for instance “never end a sentence with a preposition.”

 

 

Good god,  I don't think I truly understand preposition even on its own.

[Carol the Dabbler]

2 hours ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

Good god,  I don't think I truly understand preposition even on its own.

That's not a problem, VBS -- 'cause truth be told, NOBODY understands English prepositions.  (Well, not all the time, anyhow.)

[Van Buren Supernova]

There was a huge annual office party that is actually compulsory (yeah right).

First two year here, I attended and left way early, even before dinner.

The subsequent three years I skipped and went straight back home before it started.

This year, with new group of colleagues, which I could actually stand, persuaded me to go and say 'but you have us!' when I mentioned the dreaded atmosphere. But I used my dog as excuse, as always, and to my surprise, they decided not to go as well because it looked overwhelming to them too, and locked themselves in our secluded office playing games (the party venue is still inside office premise and they are staying in office accomodation) can't say I don't have new appreciation for them.

[Arcadia]

Why on earth are parties mandatory?

[Van Buren Supernova]

So they say. I actually worked in different offices (different countries so I think it's more like company culture not culture of particular countries) that states attendance is compulsory and indeed people try to show up otherwise they would get a 'mark' or whatever it is. I think big company usually put a lot of importance in their anniversary. Not sure, or staffs are encourage to participate or mingle by force (and most actually looking forward to it). One of the colleagues in my previous work even mentioned black-list and he made it a point to make his existence noticed before sneaking away.

 The first two years here they actually barricade the exit, but of course you could still go, it's just they notice it. I don't think there is negative effect, but I'm not known to have best behavior anyway and I don't think I am important enough or noticeable enough especially now that our working place is quite isolated from others. 

[Artemis]

On 1/6/2018 at 8:19 PM, Artemis said:

Speaking of being recognized, I stopped for dinner at a cafe tonight, and the guy who took my order remembered my name, even though I haven't been there in almost a year and only saw him before a couple of times.  How'd he do that?!  No one ever remembers my name (or me), especially not over that amount of time, lol.

^ So I haven't been there since I posted this; went there tonight, and he still remembered my name!  Seriously, how...

 

[Arcadia]

Same way the baristas at my local coffee shop remember what I ordered the first time I came in, I guess. It's a mystery to me as well. But I assume there's some sort of training you can take?

[Carol the Dabbler]

Training could help, but according to recent studies, some people are just naturally better than others at facial recognition.  In addition to the area of the brain that's devoted to pattern recognition, most people seem to have another entire section of their brain that's devoted to face recognition.  Other people (apparently like my mother) don't have that section, and have to recognize faces in the same way that they tell one shirt or automobile from another.  If I changed my hairstyle while I was away from home, so that Mom didn't know about it, she would literally not recognize me (even if she did recognize the clothes I was wearing).

I'm a bit that way myself, so I'm guessing that my facial-recognition area is a bit stunted, and it seems plausible that some people might have a double helping.  There's presumably a continuum, not just you have it or you don't.

[Artemis]

38 minutes ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

If I changed my hairstyle while I was away from home, so that Mom didn't know about it, she would literally not recognize me (even if she did recognize the clothes I was wearing).

That's interesting.  My dad can't recognize someone if they've changed their hair, and on the flip-side, thinks everyone with a similar hair color and style is the same person, lol.

I can easily recognize and differentiate faces, and at least in the short term, names.  But I doubt I'd recognize either the face or name of a customer that I saw one time, a year ago, during a flurry of activity; unless they'd made a distinct impression on me.

 

[Arcadia]

5 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

Training could help, but according to recent studies, some people are just naturally better than others at facial recognition.  In addition to the area of the brain that's devoted to pattern recognition, most people seem to have another entire section of their brain that's devoted to face recognition.  Other people (apparently like my mother) don't have that section, and have to recognize faces in the same way that they tell one shirt or automobile from another.  If I changed my hairstyle while I was away from home, so that Mom didn't know about it, she would literally not recognize me (even if she did recognize the clothes I was wearing).

I'm a bit that way myself, so I'm guessing that my facial-recognition area is a bit stunted, and it seems plausible that some people might have a double helping.  There's presumably a continuum, not just you have it or you don't.

I think we've talked about this before, but I'm much the same way ... I'm really bad at recognizing people. It always surprises me when people I've barely met remember who I am.

I did recognize an actor in an airport once (I can't even remember who it was, now. ) I was amazed at myself, that kind of thing almost never happens. I have trouble recognizing the person I'm picking up!

 

4 hours ago, Artemis said:

 

I can easily recognize and differentiate faces, and at least in the short term, names.  But I doubt I'd recognize either the face or name of a customer that I saw one time, a year ago, during a flurry of activity; unless they'd made a distinct impression on me.

Maybe you made a distinct impression on this person!

[Carol the Dabbler]

Alex and I are often greeted in parks, stores, and other public places by people we not only don't recognize, but have literally never met.  We go for walks in our neighborhood almost daily, so apparently the neighbors who've seen us from their windows feel that they know us.

[Carol the Dabbler]

16 hours ago, Artemis said:

My dad can't recognize someone if they've changed their hair, and on the flip-side, thinks everyone with a similar hair color and style is the same person....

It occurs to me that this syndrome could account for the phenomenon of some people thinking that all Chinese (for example) look alike.  Chinese people do all have the same hair color, so it could be the same as thinking all redheads look alike.

[T.o.b.y]

On 11/19/2018 at 12:53 AM, Carol the Dabbler said:

Alex and I are often greeted in parks, stores, and other public places by people we not only don't recognize, but have literally never met.  We go for walks in our neighborhood almost daily, so apparently the neighbors who've seen us from their windows feel that they know us.

Where I live, this is considered polite. I am sure that I have offended countless strangers by not acknowledging their presence in passing. But I am such a daydreamer, most of the time, I am not really aware of my surroundings. 

[Arcadia]

Same here; it's just polite to acknowledge other people when you're walking about the neighborhood. Unless it's a crowd, then it's just as polite to ignore everyone. :smile:

Out in the country, where you don't pass anyone for miles, it's also not unusual to acknowledge the other driver in passing cars. I think that's getting rarer, though, because it's hard to find a road nowadays that doesn't have a lot of traffic on it.

[Carol the Dabbler]

On 11/18/2018 at 6:53 PM, Carol the Dabbler said:

Alex and I are often greeted in parks, stores, and other public places by people we not only don't recognize, but have literally never met.  We go for walks in our neighborhood almost daily, so apparently the neighbors who've seen us from their windows feel that they know us.

 

9 hours ago, T.o.b.y said:

Where I live, this is considered polite.

 

40 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

Same here; it's just polite to acknowledge other people when you're walking about the neighborhood.

 

Walking (or driving) around the neighborhood, sure.  But the times I'm talking about, we were in a park or a store downtown, miles away from our neighborhood.  And these were not people that we were at all acquainted with.  We may have smiled at them a few times if they happened to be out in their yards when we strolled by, but that's about it.

As I said, I suspect that they'd seen us lots more often than we'd seen them, because they had seen us from their windows when we were out for our walks.  So they recognized us, while even Alex didn't recognize them.

A bit of background:  When my high school class had its forty-year reunion, Alex volunteered to hand out the name tags (even though he hardly knew anyone, and therefore had to ask who they were).  The next day I got out my senior yearbook, and just for fun covered up people's names to see if he could recognize the faces he'd seen forty years later.  He only missed one -- and that was a fellow who had changed so much that my friend and I had sent her daughter to sneak a peek at his name tag at our twenty-fifth reunion.  So if Alex doesn't recognize someone, he's probably never met them.

[Arcadia]

Well, I should have said "a" neighborhood. But it sounds like the people you're encountering are doing a bit more than acknowledging? I just mean a nod of the head or a smile, not (eeek!) conversation. :D

[Carol the Dabbler]

Yeah, they'd come up and start talking to us as though we should know who they were.  Like in a grocery store, not just out for a stroll somewhere.

[Artemis]

On 11/20/2018 at 9:08 PM, Arcadia said:

Same here; it's just polite to acknowledge other people when you're walking about the neighborhood.

This is something I've had to adjust to.  I grew up in a rough neighborhood, where this wasn't a normal thing to do.  Then in my late 20's I moved to a suburb where people I didn't know would wave and sometimes say "hi" as I walked or drove by, like it was expected.  I actually found it bothersome and still have trouble remembering to do it, but I'm trying.

 

[Arcadia]

I don't remember it being a thing until we moved into the rural South.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Yeah, I think it's more of a rural or small-town thing.

[Van Buren Supernova]

On 11/21/2018 at 12:28 PM, Carol the Dabbler said:

Yeah, they'd come up and start talking to us as though we should know who they were.  Like in a grocery store, not just out for a stroll somewhere.

It happens to me as well.

Beside feeling a bit intimidated with the forced interaction, I think what irritates me the most is the fact that they are probably much more observant that I am. I mean, what would Sherlock say?!?

 

Speaking of neighbor, (if you guys remember about my neighbor who seems to have endless money and keep having renovations), after couple of days away, I found their house is now sparkling and finished. The cab dropped me at around ten pm, normally at that hour the neighborhood would be deserted but this time the owner and her helper (a couple) were talking in their terrace. So I quickly got my luggages and opened the fence, after acknowledging them with simple 'good evening'. I conclude the surrounding was safe, so I put my guard down, but when I had just walked in and about to turn around to close the fence, the wife of that couple had wedged herself in between the wall and fence, blocking me from closing it (she was moving very fast apparently). Well, she was asking whether we could go to their house warming a week from now.

Yah, it's nice of them, but I don't really appreciate the way she was wedging herself that way, it would freak me out if it's someone else. Normally I took extra caution to close it as soon as I am in and never turning my back, but I was only looking out for stranger. And, I am so very happy that I'm not at home next weekend at the scheduled time, probably would make extra grocery trip before coming home just to make sure the party is over. This is the second time they are throwing house warming party.

[Carol the Dabbler]

13 hours ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

It happens to me as well.

Beside feeling a bit intimidated with the forced interaction, I think what irritates me the most is the fact that they are probably much more observant that I am. I mean, what would Sherlock say?!?

[....]

This is the second time they are throwing house warming party.

Where you live, are people generally expected to bring presents to house-warming parties?  If so, having more than one strikes me as just a bit -- excessive?  But maybe they're simply wanting to show everybody how nice their house looks now (before they tear it down and start over again).

....

I used to think that my problem with recognizing people was due to not paying enough attention (and of course that may be true).  But since reading about face blindness, especially the fact that it seems to be hereditary in many cases (and my mother was a textbook case), I figure I'm pretty well off the hook.  Also my conjecture that some people are the opposite is supported by this statement from that same Wikipedia page:  The opposite of prosopagnosia is the skill of superior face recognition ability. Scotland Yard has a special criminal investigation unit composed of people, called "super-recognizers", with this skill.