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Van Buren Supernova

Introverts, how is your day?

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I find that on the effort to make my mom more social back then (which is an irony since I hate them doing that to me), she wanted me to join her because eventhough she welcomed my efforts (this was the time when she really had noone to hang out with but she probably wanted to) she had anxiety of being in new environment alone. (sorry if my parenthetical stuffs are distracting 😋).

It's crazy thing to ask from me, but I hope I did try. 

So would it help if you go with him initially to social activities, so eventually he will be motivated to go alone in the future and have his own thing?

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No.  :(  I've offered; he still won't do it.

 

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I'm so sorry to hear that Artemis, you're going through a lot lately don't you? If you don't mind, I'd like to give you a big hug *hugs*. I don't know if it helps, but I'm going through something similar. My father is becoming senile and it has become so bad that we had to put him in a senior home for people with young dementia. And because my parents are divorced and his siblings and his nephews are "too busy" I have become his emotional crutch because I apparently have too much free time . He keeps expecting me to visit him at least weekly and I keep telling him that I can't do that because I have to take care of myself, my job, my friends, my house and my cat but he keeps forgetting it even though the nurses tell him the same thing. It's not just a lack of time, it's also incredibly difficult for me to see my father change from an independent man to dependent of others. To make matters worse, his side of the family doesn't even understand why it's so hard for me even though I tried to explain it multiple times. They keep insisting that where there is a will, there is a way. And because I don't visit him often they consider me selfish and I abandoned him! At least I am visiting him, you'd think it's the effort that counts but noooo. Thank goodness my friends and the rest of my family are more understanding.

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So I'm closer to one of my sis-in-law recently since we bond over our dogs. She is an extrovert, probably on 'very' side and always struggles to understand me and my brothers. Now she knows me much better and we like to make fun of these two spectrums.

And one day I sent her this picture:

Smart-Select-20190426-091605-Chrome.jpg

And her comment was about the dog behind photobombing the dog in front. I told her that I thought the dog behind is angry because it was being photographed (my dog does that, he understands that he is being photographed and always pulled a pissed-off face so it's pretty difficult to get good picture of him nowadays, ironically I do that in real life and always avoid photo yet I'm the annoying one trying to get his picture).

Not sure how you guys think about the picture, for us, we find that the way we look at the photo differently tells two very different personalities. :D

 

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On 4/26/2019 at 10:54 AM, Fantasy Lover said:

I'm so sorry to hear that Artemis, you're going through a lot lately don't you? If you don't mind, I'd like to give you a big hug *hugs*.

Thank you Fantasy, I really appreciate that.  *Hugs* back.  :(

It does sound like a similar situation.  And your father's side of the family sounds like my family.  They're "too busy" to help, but I'm selfish if I don't drop everything and bend over backwards at all times.  Why doesn't "Where there's a will there's a way" apply to them, if they're going to apply it to you?

I can imagine how hard it is to see your father like that; I dread the day I will be in the same position.  I feel for you.  :(

 

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16 hours ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

So I'm closer to one of my sis-in-law recently since we bond over our dogs. She is an extrovert, probably on 'very' side and always struggles to understand me and my brothers. Now she knows me much better and we like to make fun of these two spectrums.

And one day I sent her this picture:

Smart-Select-20190426-091605-Chrome.jpg

And her comment was about the dog behind photobombing the dog in front. I told her that I thought the dog behind is angry because it was being photographed (my dog does that, he understands that he is being photographed and always pulled a pissed-off face so it's pretty difficult to get good picture of him nowadays, ironically I do that in real life and always avoid photo yet I'm the annoying one trying to get his picture).

Not sure how you guys think about the picture, for us, we find that the way we look at the photo differently tells two very different personalities. :D

 

This here third personality thinks the dog in front looks like an idiot. :D

I feel for all three of you, having been through something similar myself recently. All I can say is … as hard as it was for me, as many times as I bewailed my situation … I will never regret the time I had to give up to comfort someone else. There were times when I hated my life, and wasn't sure I could stick it out … but I did, and now I'm glad I did.

For what that's worth. I know it's hard. And don't be ashamed to accept help from others. Hugz to all of you.

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On 4/29/2019 at 9:33 AM, Arcadia said:

Hugz to all of you.

Me too? What happened to always trade hugs with cookies? :P

 

So a 'friend', ex-colleague who I haven't met or spoken to for four years, called me yesterday. For all I know, he stayed in another state and still there. Of course I was frightened by any calls especially long lost acquaintance. I did what I do best, let it ring (Great sherlock tone anyway). He texted my name followed with dot dot dot (my pet peeve! ARGH). So I ignored it and finally texted back today since it's quite obvious that he could see it's active number. Luckily, he just texted, not called, telling me he just found out that I had left the company (he left four years earlier) and asked if I still go back and forth this place and my second residence. Which I reply yes. So he asked me to let him know if I'm "back". At this point I thought he was talking about the state I thought he is in. My main family is there and he knew I visit them sometimes. But then he sent another text, I'm now in (my town) until August. GAH. So he thought I'm back to my second residence (spend most of my time there) while in fact I spend most of my time here. And he is here.

He used to ask for hang out often, and it frightens me that he is here. We could talk and hang out a bit back then, but there was always certain degree of awkwardness and barrier, at least that's what I felt. It's not a small town, but it's not very big either. I mean, there are only that many places to buy good grocery... So again, I did what I do best and say okay, without correcting him. Technically, I'm not lying right????? Eventually he would find out I guess, but I'm trying to buy my time.  

 

 

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No cookies, I'm on a diet. :P 

If the guy has any sense, when you don't get in touch with him he will figure out you're not interested. Of course, some guys are notoriously without sense.....

And if you do accidentally run into him, and he still wants to get together, just say thanks, but no thanks. No explanation required. 

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