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Van Buren Supernova

Introverts, how is your day?

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Now I'm tempted to find some if I have time later.

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I think if I didn't have a kid to worry about, I would almost like the pandemic lifestyle... 

But motherhood aside, there is one aspect that makes me really sad atm: my best friend, the "Sherlock" in my Watson life since childhood, is on immunosuppressants and I work with sick people. So we can't meet at all, even though things are calming down here in Germany and hanging out one on one would otherwise be perfectly legal and reasonably safe atm. 

But nope. No taking chances here. 

It's weird, we're both rather solitary and have been perfectly content with only meeting in person once a month or so for years. But now as we're both feeling increasingly burnt out and blue from this whole thing, we're finding ourselves really longing for each other's company. 

Seriously, I saw that scene from The Lying Detective the other day where Sherlock and John hug and agree that nothing is ok but it is what it is and I almost cried because that's exactly what I want right now and I can't have it. 

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14 hours ago, T.o.b.y said:

... my best friend, the "Sherlock" in my Watson life since childhood, is on immunosuppressants and I work with sick people. So we can't meet at all....

That is such a shame, Tobe.  :(   When (i.e., under what conditions) do you think it might be reasonably safe for the two of you to get together again?

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2 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

That is such a shame, Tobe.  :(   When (i.e., under what conditions) do you think it might be reasonably safe for the two of you to get together again?

Well, either when she's off the meds (first attempt to discontinue them will probably be in about a year). Or when we have a vaccine. Or if Germany should by some miracle become new-virus-free sooner. Or if the "immunity after infection" theory were to be proven true and I had a positive antibody test. 

If there were an emergency that required me to visit her, I would dress up in full protective gear and do it. But otherwise, it's texting, phone and Skype for now. 

Perhaps when the weather gets warmer, we'll meet outside some time. I think that could work - open space, both wear our masks, keep six feet apart etc. But no hugs... 

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I feel you, here we are allowed to see 4 people again. I saw 2 already, I haven't seen my friends in weeks and the urge to hug them is huge. unfortunately I could only give a wuhan shake, the skin hunger is real.

 

 

 

 

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I'd probably be going nuts right now if it weren't for my husband, our cats, and this forum -- so I can kinda understand how you guys must be feeling.

I've moved around too much to have a long-time best friend, but have hardly seen one special friend since all this started.  She's been very busy since last fall, so I might not have seen her anyhow, but the virus sure isn't helping.  I've tried to stay in touch, but her responses have been pretty perfunctory.  It makes me wonder whether she might have lost interest in our friendship.

 

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She might - or she might just be stressed out and/or a bit depressed by the current situation (either would be understandable). Give her a bit of time till things have gone back to what goes for normal in these times. :unsure: 

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I feel sad for you all.  :(  At the same time, I kind of wish I had someone to miss this much.  The only conversation I've had has been on this forum, and visits with my dad.  I can't even remember the last physical contact I had with a person...  Pretty sure my last hug was in 2016 before my (ex-)fiancé and I broke up.  So I'm not really feeling the absence of anyone right now; but I remember what it was like to have a close friend, so I really do feel for you all.

 

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I've had an awful week.  One of my dogs has a collapsing trachea, and it appears to have worsened recently.  He had a respiratory attack on Tuesday like I've never seen, and another on Friday.  He was basically choking, he couldn't get any air.  I had to take him to the animal hospital.  They took an X-ray and determined that part of his trachea has almost completely collapsed.  He's at home and on meds now, but he's likely to go through this again in the future, and prognosis isn't good at this stage.  I'm extremely sad, and living in dread of the next time it happens.  I have a very close bond with my dog.  He's my boy.  It hurts to watch him suffer like that, and I will be heartbroken when he leaves me.

I also used up the last of the money I had to get through this month on his hospital bill, so I'm in trouble.

Blast this curséd year.

 

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Oh [censored] ... poor boy and poor you! :cry: It's hard when that moment we all dread comes unexpected, but it's even worse when you can see it coming, imo. Give him a hug from me, and have one yourself. :hugz:

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On 5/17/2020 at 6:15 PM, Artemis said:

Blast this curséd year.

Yeah I know we're all supposed to be so grateful now that Corona time is officially over but I'm just not feeling it

my kitten got lost, to be fair I did smuggle him in a backpack into my house and pass him off as a stray, so I get how y feel even tho I kinda wish

I didnt...

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Dear Artemis,

I'm so very, very sorry.

Please take good care.

Douglas

xoxo

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How is your dog Artemis?

Everytime my dog makes me smile there is always a tinge of fear that I could never shake off, even when he is healthy. And when he is sick, I'm a mess.

 

On 6/11/2020 at 10:11 PM, linear_panda said:

Yeah I know we're all supposed to be so grateful now that Corona time is officially over but I'm just not feeling it

Is it though?

Actually I'm confused, I know dexamethasone is some sort of good news, but we are still long way to go from total cure and vaccine, or am I too pessimistic?

I'm actually more weary that people assume it's behind us while the threat is still looming large.

 

 

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38 minutes ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

How is your dog Artemis?

He's doing better, though he struggles with breathing more than he used to.  He pants pretty much all the time.  He's on medications now which he'll be on for the rest of his life, however long that may be.  They make him a little loopy, and his quality of life isn't quite as good, because he can't get the same amount of play and exercise he used to get.  His condition will worsen over time, until eventually the meds are ineffectual.  It's impossible to know when another episode will strike, or if it will be fatal.  It could happen tomorrow, or years from now.  It's hard having no idea how much time I might have left with him.  I'm still living under a cloud of dread, and I feel very sad for him.

For right now, though, he's okay, and he seems more or less back to his old self (besides the panting and the loopiness).

 

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20 hours ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

Actually I'm confused, I know dexamethasone is some sort of good news, but we are still long way to go from total cure and vaccine, or am I too pessimistic?

I'm actually more weary that people assume it's behind us while the threat is still looming large.

 

 

I guess it's a lot tougher with you guys, over here in Australia we've had it pretty easy

The libraries still haven't opened tho 😭

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Corona time surely isn't over. I would be happy if it was, but it's more like an eye of the storm. Fortunately the wave of demonstrations didn't feed the virus, so at least we know it's rather safe outside, but looking how people deal with the masks and run for vacation abroad, I see a second wave coming as soon as we are back indoors in the fall. As long as there is ONE person still infectious in the world, it's not over. Maybe it will never be.
https://www.thelocal.de/20200617/schools-and-kitas-in-german-district-to-close-after-400-workers-at-meat-factory-test-positive-for-coronavirus

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So awhile ago I realize that not all introverts would be happy with the situation if they are forced to stay indoor with...people.

Lately I found another unpleasant situation for us in this pandemic.

For my whole life, somehow I managed to avoid a lot, I mean A LOT of social gathering, I keep loose touch or no touch and it was all good.

But just last week, starting from a couple of weeks ago, one person from high school I still keep in touch, errr.. by that I mean we have written chats couple of times a year. I used to ignore his call, because he likes to chat and I don't, but eventhough he is pissed, he understands. He always tries to 'bridge' me to reconnect with my high school friend but I could escape, until he suggested we only do three person chat with my ex-best friend. Well, ex, because we lost touch, we moved apart but there was no falling out. Anyway, I agreed, maybe because of pandemic, maybe because we had tried to reconnect a bit in the past but it didn't work well. So it started okay, we had on and off conversations, but then they suggested to invite others (who were also quite close friends back then), so they were in, and these couple new people suggested more, and before I knew it, it blew up to almost ten people. Originally I tried to go MIA but it was not too big group and I was pressurised to join the conversation because some of the chats were directed to me. And then, to my nightmare, they all agreed to do zoom call.

You see, I don't do call, or worse, zoom call, not even with my SO, not even with my family, my mom and my dog. The front camera of my phone and laptop are shut. So I told them to go ahead, as I won't be attending, and gave three excuses, I'am working, I don't have zoom and don't want to install since my phone is full (true stories, I have thousands and thousand of dog pictures, every dog that I have met) and I don't like video call. These are solid excuses, I think the third one should explain it all. BUT NOOOO, what does it call? They tried to make me feel guilty, come on, we are just close buddies, etc etc etc etc etc. 

So when I have the freedom to avoid meeting in person back then, now with convenience of technology and being made popular by pandemic, suddenly I can't hide anymore. I have to admit it's quite nice seeing them, but it's awkward to me all the same. I don't think we are the same people anymore, at least me. I think we are all scratching the surface if that makes sense.

At the very least I'm still able to play dead from my whole high school and university reunion. It doesn't help that it's our silver anniversary, everyone is out for blood to find and locate missing person, only by a friend's mercy (like high school, I only keep in touch with one person from uni) I'm still hidden.

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Im living with my boyfriend at the moment, since uni is still closed. Its hard because of all the people I could have been locked down with, I would choose him, but my mother lives alone far away and I can tell she's lonely. I often go to see her from a distance, but it's never enough.

I know that I'm lucky. I'm locked down with someone whom I love very much and who I get along with really well, but it's for that reason I feel painfully sorry for my mother.

 

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10 hours ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

So when I have the freedom to avoid meeting in person back then, now with convenience of technology and being made popular by pandemic, suddenly I can't hide anymore. I have to admit it's quite nice seeing them, but it's awkward to me all the same. I don't think we are the same people anymore, at least me. I think we are all scratching the surface if that makes sense.

That makes perfect sense to me.  When you're regularly in touch with someone, you have a lot of day-to-day stuff to talk about -- but when you haven't heard from each other in twenty years or so, it's almost like meeting a stranger.  If you stay in touch long enough to get re-acquainted, it's OK, but meanwhile you're in a very awkward situation.

I don't think your friends meant to make you uncomfortable.  They probably thought that if you gradually got back in touch with just a few people that you'd enjoy it.  But to them, ten is a few, whereas to you it's a horde.  You have my sympathy, but I have no idea what you can do, other than what you're doing.  Maybe once people are able to return to their normal life, they'll have neither the time nor the inclination for all those chats.  At least you can hope!

4 hours ago, SherLOCKED123 said:

... my mother lives alone far away and I can tell she's lonely. I often go to see her from a distance, but it's never enough. ... I know that I'm lucky. I'm locked down with someone whom I love very much and who I get along with really well, but it's for that reason I feel painfully sorry for my mother.

That is indeed sad.  Do you phone your mother regularly?  If not, that might help.

I'm just glad that this virus didn't arise until after my mother had lived out her life and passed on.

 

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Yes, I do try to phone as often as I can, @Carol the Dabbler. It does seem to help. And thanks for your support, and I'm very sorry about your mother. :hugz:

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On 7/11/2020 at 8:32 PM, SherLOCKED123 said:

but my mother lives alone far away and I can tell she's lonely. I often go to see her from a distance, but it's never enough.

 

On 7/12/2020 at 1:19 AM, SherLOCKED123 said:

Yes, I do try to phone as often as I can,

I think you have done what you can. We are in this weird situation that noone probably predicts a year ago. I guess the positive thing we could get out from this is knowing that we should cherish and try to do what we could for those we love if we have the chance.

 

On 7/12/2020 at 1:17 AM, Carol the Dabbler said:

That makes perfect sense to me.  When you're regularly in touch with someone, you have a lot of day-to-day stuff to talk about -- but when you haven't heard from each other in twenty years or so, it's almost like meeting a stranger.  If you stay in touch long enough to get re-acquainted, it's OK, but meanwhile you're in a very awkward situation.

I understand that, maybe imo, chatting in group is hardly the ideal situation to reconnect, and to my selfish mind, it almost seems like forced. I don't doubt that some enjoy and get more from that than me.

I think back, and remember that this is almost like a dejavu, we had chat group similar to this before with the same people years ago, it didn't work. Nobody is making real connection because it's like putting yourself out there to the crowd. and why would it be a good idea making a close more intimate chat into a bigger group. But maybe it's me, I keep having this problem. Just like back then when I had unpleasant trip because a good friend of mine convince me to go, with four of us, where two of them is my close friend. After I had committed, it blew up to eight people trip where I didn't know five of them, and worse, I am the only alien, came from different place and most of the time they slipped into their language (which I understand a bit but not enough). It helped that the place was nice, and my friend made up for me by asking me to go for early morning walk, just us. I guess I probably looked pissed because I was quiet (well I can't join in for most of conversation and didn't bother to remind them).

Anyway, so in this chat group, for example, none of them know that I am agnostic. I guess since we studied in Catholic school that's what everyone is. I have to admit I used to lean to that, but it has been twenty five years and people do change. Maybe they mistaken the amount of time I hid in the church until the bell rang for faith, not because I tried to control my quota of human. So when they chat about religion, for example, I don't really participate. That is one example, I don't blame them, nothing is wrong, that is just the point of why I think it's.. well... forced?

On 7/12/2020 at 1:17 AM, Carol the Dabbler said:

I don't think your friends meant to make you uncomfortable.  They probably thought that if you gradually got back in touch with just a few people that you'd enjoy it.  But to them, ten is a few, whereas to you it's a horde.  You have my sympathy, but I have no idea what you can do, other than what you're doing.  Maybe once people are able to return to their normal life, they'll have neither the time nor the inclination for all those chats.  At least you can hope!

Yes, they are actually very nice, sweet and accommodating, which is why I finally made the effort. Don't get me wrong, I'm always grateful that they want to keep in touch with me, it's just overbearing sometimes that no is not the answer for them.  I guess they more or less actually feel something similar, that most of us are only scratching surface, as the chat dies down a bit, and noone suggest then next zoom meeting yet, at least for now, or maybe because some are busy for the bigger reunion that even if Sherlock offers me his coat, there is no way I would join as I really really don't know most of them.

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1 hour ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

... we had chat group similar to this before with the same people years ago, it didn't work. Nobody is making real connection because it's like putting yourself out there to the crowd. and why would it be a good idea making a close more intimate chat into a bigger group.

I know what you mean!  I strongly prefer one-one-one chats, where I feel more free to say what I think because I actually know the person I'm talking to, or at least I can tailor my comments to what we seem to have in common.

1 hour ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

... a good friend of mine convince me to go, with four of us, where two of them is my close friend. After I had committed, it blew up to eight people trip where I didn't know five of them, and worse, I am the only alien, came from different place and most of the time they slipped into their language (which I understand a bit but not enough).

That is incredibly rude!  In their defense, I must admit to having done that once myself, though only for a few minutes.  Even if you know (intellectually) that not everyone in the group knows a certain language, it's awfully easy for that to slip your mind in the excitement of the moment.  But it's still really rude, especially if was (like you say) most of the time.

 

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