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Introverts, how is your day?


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19 hours ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

s this the world for extroverts? Do you guys at least feel something similar and struggle with it?

 

13 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

Maybe it's extroverts, but then I wonder about the false personas.  

I meant, I imagine that social media must be very natural for extroverts. I suppose for some people, it's easier to put themselves out there and interacting with everyone?

13 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

Are extroverts always phonies?  Or are these introverts pretending to be extroverts?  Or maybe introverts who feel safe behind a facade?

This is very possible. At the very least, I don't think I'm as comfortable around you guys in real life. I might hide in the corner and you have to poke me with a stick to get my response in conversation, after you promise to give me giant paper bag to cover my head and big cake of course.

Haiz, I actually not sure what I am trying to say. It's likely that I just get frustrated sometimes that we can't really survive without all those. Everything needs a market, you need to exist. Unless you already make it in life, we need to get out there.

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There, there!  You can always come here and bitch when you're feeling overwhelmed elsewhere.  We promise to be gentle, at least every now and then.

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14 minutes ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

You can always come here and bitch when you're feeling overwhelmed elsewhere.  We promise to be gentle, at least every now and then.

Thank you! If only everywhere is as cosy as here, too bad we don't have real cake.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Stumbled over this and found it interesting: (source and links to studies and such is here: https://www.quietrev.com/6-illustrations-that-show-what-its-like-in-an-introverts-head/ )

zATd0I7.jpeg

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Those are some fascinating hypotheses!

1. Introverts have a longer neural pathway for processing stimuli (including long-term memory and planning).

That could explain why my reactions tend to be kind of complicated, sometimes annoyingly so to some other people.

2. Introverts require less stimulation to stay awake and alert; introverts are more readily over-stimulated.

Which may explain why I find the current crop of loud, fast-paced movies really annoying.

3, Introverts need less dopamine to feel happy; they can feel content and energized while reading, thinking deeply, or diving into ideas.

You mean other people don't?

4, Introverts feel less excitement from surprise or risk.

Which may explain why I don't understand why some people get such a kick out of gambling.  (Love that cartoon -- and yeah, cats must be introverts.)

5. Introverts process all things ... not just people.

In other words, I'm easily distracted?  (Unless I'm really focussed on something, that it.)

6. Introverts reach long-term memory to locate information.  Their information processing is slower, as they compare old and new experiences when deciding things.  This also means they are careful in making decisions.

Not sure this applies to ALL introverts.  I'm like that, but my husband often makes snap judgments -- presumably because he's a J (and I'm a P).

 

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All this could also be a description of a so called High Sensitive Person. It describes me quite good, but what is missing - the fact of being drained by interpersonal interaction as opposite to being energized by it (extroverts), which for me is the most significant difference.

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5. Introverts process all things ... not just people.

Oh that's why I often process people as things. Mostly as nuisances. :D

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4 hours ago, J.P. said:

... what is missing - the fact of being drained by interpersonal interaction as opposite to being energized by it (extroverts) ....

I sometimes feel energized when I'm interacting with people, and if it's a cordial one-on-one or very small group, the energy seems to last.  But if it's me vs. a crowd, the energy that I feel is apparently coming from me having psyched myself up, so that once I'm free to go "off stage," I'm totally drained.

I assume we each have our individual variations on all of this.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/12/2021 at 2:46 PM, Caya said:

Stumbled over this and found it interesting: (source and links to studies and such is here: https://www.quietrev.com/6-illustrations-that-show-what-its-like-in-an-introverts-head/ )

zATd0I7.jpeg

This describes me to a T.

On 11/14/2021 at 8:00 AM, J.P. said:

All this could also be a description of a so called High Sensitive Person. It describes me quite good, but what is missing - the fact of being drained by interpersonal interaction as opposite to being energized by it (extroverts), which for me is the most significant difference.

Yes! As much as I enjoy my interactions with certain people, :smile:  I always relish getting back to just me myself.

Which reminds me ... is there a polite way to get people off the phone? I have two acquaintances who I don't mind talking to often on the  phone, but why do the calls have to be so lengthy? Especially since we're not exchanging information, it's mostly just me listening to them rattle on about whatever is happening to them at the moment. ("Oh, the dog wants my attention. Hey, the leaves are falling!") I'm sympathetic to their need for human contact, but really.....

 

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1 hour ago, Arcadia said:

... is there a polite way to get people off the phone? I have two acquaintances who I don't mind talking to often on the  phone, but why do the calls have to be so lengthy? Especially since we're not exchanging information, it's mostly just me listening to them rattle on about whatever is happening to them at the moment. ("Oh, the dog wants my attention. Hey, the leaves are falling!")

I wish I had some advice for you!  I had a friend who was fun in person.  But on the phone she was sort of like that, only instead of the leaves are falling, I got to listen to her ongoing tale of woe.  She had actual problems and certainly wasn't bitching about minutia, but it went on for hours.  One day I felt a desire to tell a friendly ear about a significant problem in my life, and I figured she owed me, so I called her -- and after listening to her woes for several hours, I finally gave up.  Other than maybe a time or two in person, I haven't talked to her since.

So you have my sympathy, if that's any consolation.

 

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On 11/24/2021 at 2:29 AM, Carol the Dabbler said:

So you have my sympathy, if that's any consolation.

 

Not much. 😛 I'm actually getting a lot of that from them too, and in the past I would have done the same as you by now. But I'm going through so much trauma of my own these days that it's made me more tolerant of listening to their woes, I think. They need an ear. But when the conversation devolves into pointless observations, it's time to get off the phone, imo. I guess they just are reluctant to let go of the human contact, and I get that too. But still.....

It's a shame that people who go on about their problems like that don't realize how it drives people away, leaving them even more isolated than before. Vicious circle. Man, the world's a tough place to be sometimes. 😞 

 

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10 hours ago, Arcadia said:

It's a shame that people who go on about their problems like that don't realize how it drives people away, leaving them even more isolated than before. Vicious circle.

Nor do some of them seem to realize that other people may also have problems, which is the part that eventually gets to me.  I don't mind lending a sympathetic ear to someone who's willing to return the favor once in a while.

 

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Arcadia: :hugz:to you. 

Ideas on how to end phone convos:

- at the start of the conversation, point out that you have a time limit à la "I need to do / be at X by Y o'clock". Make something up if you need to. When that time comes round, point it out and hang up with a quick "got to go" or similar. 

- If your phone has a "knock" option, call it from another phone or line and say "oh, sorry, I have to take that" 

- If you have kids or pets, they might take care of the issue for you 

- If you're on a cell phone, purposely go somewhere with really bad reception 

- Seriously though, nobody is entitled to hours of your time. I think it should be socially acceptable to just tell people you would like to end the conversation. If they can't respect your boundaries then the value of the acquaintance is doubtful. 

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6 hours ago, T.o.b.y said:

Arcadia: :hugz:to you. 

Thanks Tobe. :cookie:

 

6 hours ago, T.o.b.y said:

Ideas on how to end phone convos:

I think I've used a variation on most of those, with mixed results. The two most needy ladies, though, keep on going even after I've said I gotta go. Heck, they keep on going even after they've said (more than once) that they're going to let me go! Some people like that I'm perfectly capable of avoiding, but sometimes their need is so great that I can't help but want to respond to it. So I guess it's on me if I suffer the consequences. :smile:  At this point it's not annoying enough to cut these people out of my life; just annoying enough to complain about. :D 

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