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Shoot the Wall (A.K.A. The Rant Thread)

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On ‎1‎/‎28‎/‎2019 at 3:00 PM, T.o.b.y said:

Actually, a surprising number of people. 

I remember an elderly (but not senile) relative telling 15-year-old me that what really mattered was attracting a rich man and I would have to do a lot of work on my appearance for that. Weight loss was explicitly mentioned as well. 

I was f....ing 15. Not even seriously thinking about romantic relationships yet. 

The same lovely lady kept trying to get me to "admit" I thought this or that slimy male celebrity was cute. It really weirded me out. 

I dimly remember stuff like that too. I know that's one reason I was so convinced I was a fat teenager … everyone kept telling me I needed to lose weight. Yet I recently looked at some old pictures of myself … I was fine! It makes me angry, frankly. I spent an entire childhood with a poor self-image that still has its ramifications today. *sigh* Society...…….

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It's no better being a skinny kid!  I was constantly being told (mostly by my father) that I needed to gain weight, but since (as a typical kid) I was already eating just about all the time, I didn't see what I could do about it.  Then when I was in my twenties, my husband and (of all people) my boss chimed in.  So I finally did my damnedest to put on weight, stuffing myself at every meal -- which eventually gave me stomach cramps, so that I couldn't eat at all for a couple of weeks, and ended up losing ten pounds.

After that, I simply stopped worrying about my weight.  So there.  :P

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I had a boss who constantly critiqued my hair style. I honestly couldn't see what business it was of hers, but I finally got a perm just to shut her up. Gradually let it grow back out and she never even seemed to notice. People are weird. :smile: 

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I hate it when you ask your supervisor to take care of something, and then it takes freaking MONTHS for something to happen.

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BlissfulDescriptiveBluefintuna-size_rest

 

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The other day I was talking to my toddler in English and this stranger turned to my husband and asked: "does she do that on purpose?" 

No, I speak English by mistake. What kind of a question is that? 

He was completely taken aback when I explained to him myself, in fluent German, that we have family in the the US whom we can't very well expect to learn German, so it's important for our kid to know both languages. 

Sigh... I usually like living in a small town but it does have its disadvantages. I do not envy the people here who also look "foreign" in any way. 

 

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Good for you for teaching your kids a second language. I speak three, my Latin is fair, and my Greek is... well not great to be honest. Learning languages, any languages, open doors.

How does one go about looking foreign?

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15 minutes ago, Sheerluck said:

Good for you for teaching your kids a second language. I speak three, my Latin is fair, and my Greek is... well not great to be honest. Learning languages, any languages, open doors.

How does one go about looking foreign?

That depends on the minds of the self proclaimed natives more than on your personal appearance, imo. Around here, anybody who does not look Caucasian is usually perceived as foreign no matter how long their families have lived here or what their passport says. 

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Just now, T.o.b.y said:

That depends on the minds of the self proclaimed natives more than on your personal appearance, imo. Around here, anybody who does not look Caucasian is usually perceived as foreign no matter how long their families have lived here or what their passport says. 

Ah, yes. I see.

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5 hours ago, T.o.b.y said:

The other day I was talking to my toddler in English and this stranger turned to my husband and asked: "does she do that on purpose?" 

No, I speak English by mistake. What kind of a question is that? 

He was completely taken aback when I explained to him myself, in fluent German, that we have family in the the US whom we can't very well expect to learn German, so it's important for our kid to know both languages. 

Sigh... I usually like living in a small town but it does have its disadvantages. I do not envy the people here who also look "foreign" in any way.

Yeah, I can imagine it'd be a bit tricky to find someone in our neighborhood who speaks good German (though we do know a German-speaking family in a town about half an hour's drive from here).

Hadn't The Kid heard you speaking German before, at the grocery and so forth?  Maybe he doesn't realize that English is a different language, and thinks it's your own personal brand of mangled German, as though you had a speech impediment?  It's probably good that he's starting to ask questions, actually.  Maybe now you can get him to try answering in English when someone talks to him in English.  He obviously understands the language, so just needs a little practice speaking it.

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On ‎3‎/‎22‎/‎2019 at 9:47 AM, T.o.b.y said:

Sigh... I usually like living in a small town but it does have its disadvantages. I do not envy the people here who also look "foreign" in any way. 

I know what you mean … as beautiful as our little summer spot in Maine is, I do get a bit tired of everyone knowing your business. Stub your toe in the morning, and it will be all over the island by the end of the day. :smile: 

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On 3/22/2019 at 9:47 PM, T.o.b.y said:

Sigh... I usually like living in a small town but it does have its disadvantages. I do not envy the people here who also look "foreign" in any way.

 

8 hours ago, Arcadia said:

I know what you mean … as beautiful as our little summer spot in Maine is, I do get a bit tired of everyone knowing your business. Stub your toe in the morning, and it will be all over the island by the end of the day. :smile: 

 

That is the reason that I never feel really at home everywhere. I'm either look different or sound different. The only place where I look and sound like the rest is the small town that I only find affection for nostalgic purposes, because yah, they might not give a dang about my toe, but when you fart one time....

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On ‎3‎/‎31‎/‎2019 at 2:13 AM, Van Buren Supernova said:

That is the reason that I never feel really at home everywhere. I'm either look different or sound different. The only place where I look and sound like the rest is the small town that I only find affection for nostalgic purposes, because yah, they might not give a dang about my toe, but when you fart one time....

Eh, I know that feeling too. We moved so much when I was a kid, I never felt I "belonged" anywhere. But I've grown quite fond of the small town where I work; I wouldn't mind staying there. It's weird, walking down the street and having people recognize me because I'm one of the "regulars." But I could get used to it.

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I don't know if I'd like going back to my home town, it's been 22 (22!) years since my last visit. I really can't deal with the close-mindedness (is it a word?) of most people and the negative impact on us back then, especially my mom. 

We siblings always say her best decision was to leave the town; we struggled, but had better lives and education and I believe it makes us become much better people. I see friends and family left behind, they are... very stuck, in term of how they think about life. Nope.

Anyway, I had sigh... annoying experiences. So I called an Uber, gave him a very clear direction to my place. (Basically when you enter this road, turn right just before the road ends, then turn left just before the road ends, and find house number 3). Please note all the turns are located at the end of the roads, it can't go wrong! Or can it?

There was nothing unclear in the language I used, and using the same apps, I could see how he made his move. And of course he turned left, when me and the map  clearly said right. He fussed for awhile, then turned around, turned to another wrong road, and then turned back to the main road he came from, confused and asked me to meet him there instead. This is a frigging trip to the airport and he asked mr to drag my bag a mile away I might as well take another mode of transportation (there was none though), and all the time when he made all those stupid decisions which I could see clearly, I tried to guide him and always asked him to READ MY FIRST INSTRUCTION OR LOOK AT THE BLEEPING MAP.  The thing is, he was trying to blame me for giving unclear direction and gave stupid comments as if he was wasting his time.

So I called, asked him if he still wanted to make it or not, when he did, gave him the direction by phone. When we met, he tried to blame the map so I had to point out exactly where he did wrong with prove and me and map were not wrong.

That is not the end of the story, so I asked him to go by the road that I know (I LIVE HERE, RIDE AND DRIVE) would be less congested which he complied, UNTIL the first sight of traffic, he suddenly swerved and changed direction. He then told me that he was taking another road (it's one way street so we couldn't turn around), I know the road he suggested, and I know it could get very congested, but he dismissed me and said it should be better. Fine, I had good buffer time before my flight (which I always do because of idiots like this). Anyway, maybe, as a driver, he would know better than me for this particular hour. Yes? NO!!

So the road he chose was also congested, bear in mind, he needed to backtrack to reach this road, so time wasted here. But I thought well it's fine  let's try it since decision had been made. Yes? NO!! 

He got worried to see the congested road, and without asking me, made a big turn (I thought he had secret roads) through small roads and there we were, twenty to thirty minutes, at exactly the same road where he diverted. When I asked he told me oh that road is congested too. I said nothing.

And after we cleared a traffic light, it was smooth sailing to the airport, with of course, my stupid chosen road, my stupid direction. To his credit, he seemed guilty and very nervous that I would get angry after his blunders but dammit man, listen to woman once in a while.

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Is this a guy thing?

Once a group of us were going to a U2 concert in Washington DC, and my friend offered to drive because he was "familiar" with the roads. Well, first of all ... no he wasn't. He kept trying "shortcuts" to avoid the freeway traffic. We finally ended up somewhere downtown, miles from the stadium, and had to ask a cab driver for directions. (Bless the guy, he actually drove in front of us all the way to the proper freeway ramp.)

Of course, then we're in traffic, because everyone and their cousin is going to see U2, and we inch along, through the entrance, and towards the parking lots. Inch by inch. We see the parking lots getting nearer. Then suddenly, without warning, my friend bolts into the lane next to us, because it's moving faster. Well, it's moving faster, dammit, because it's the exit lane!

We're screaming at him to stop, but it's too late to get back into the lane we were in ... and to make a long story short, we ended up having to exit the stadium, circle all the way around it (in traffic) to get back to the entrance, and inch our way back in again. We didn't have time to eat like we'd planned, and all the programs were already given out, and we missed all but the very end of the opening acts. Oh, and they wouldn't allow our umbrellas in and we didn't have time to take them back to the car, so we had to ditch them.

All of which was immediately forgotten the moment U2 walked out on stage. :smile:

 

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Yes, that's a guy thing.  In fact, I'm amazed he was willing to ask for directions.  And in guy talk, "familiar with" or even "I know exactly where it is" means "I have a hazy idea what part of town it's in."

To be fair, there are probably many men who aren't like that.  It's just that the others are so much more memorable.  And even the memorable ones will generally get you there in the nick of time.

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26 minutes ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

In fact, I'm amazed he was willing to ask for directions. 

Oh, I'm pretty sure it was the three women in the car with him who came up with that idea. :D

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Not sure though if it's gender thing though. Some guys that I know are very sensible and logical, and some women are stubborn. But yes, I encountered guys who were too proud to ask for woman's help or trusting  women.

One that I remember really well was this guy risking decompression sickness, tried to fight the up current unsuccessfully and  chose to be carried to surface at dangerous speed instead of taking my hand that I had offered for a while. My other hand was clinging onto a rock and two of my teams were half clinging to me, I had to keep my body close to the rock as well as the key to hold on. He was separated from his group and lead when we encountered unusual current, but he knew I was one of lead since we were on the same boat. Anyway, I thought there was no time to be picky if you were in dangerous situation when someone offered you help. 

I couldn't reach out further to him, otherwise I would forcefully dragged him by the ear. After the dive, he felt nauseous and had to skip the rest of the day but luckily he was fine, otherwise my friend would be in trouble. We can't really protect someone from their stupidity.

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When I said "it's a guy thing," I didn't mean that all men are like that, just that I've known a number of men who won't ask for directions (from a woman *or* a man).  And I've never met a woman like that (not saying they don't exist).

Of course it may be a cultural thing as well.  Maybe men aren't like that in other places.

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I admit I'm loathe to ask directions myself (for one thing, when I do, I so often get a wrong answer!) Not that I won't, but I do tend to wander around for awhile first. 🤷‍♀️ And usually I find my way. Eventually. :D 

 

 

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I'm a nervous Nelly when it comes to finding someplace new, so if I'm the one driving, I make sure of the directions before I ever leave home.  And therefore, come to think of it, I really have no idea what I'd do if the original directions didn't pan out.  I *think* I'd stop and ask someone.  (At least that's what I attempt to do when another driver can't find the place.)  But I don't actually know.  :huh:  So maybe I should shut up?

You've got a good point about the possibility of getting a bum steer.

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I have honest-to-pete maps in my car. Seems like everyone else I know is using those electronic thingies now (Garman?) I hate 'em, I have never liked machines that talk. And they're not that smart, either.

However, I just recently learned that (almost?) nobody sells maps anymore! Sacrilege! A friend and I were trying to find an alternate route back home recently, and I knew there was one, but we couldn't figure out how to get to it. Stopped at two convenience stores and a gas station; none of them sold maps anymore. Arrrghhh!

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12 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

I have honest-to-pete maps in my car. Seems like everyone else I know is using those electronic thingies now (Garman?) I hate 'em, I have never liked machines that talk. And they're not that smart, either.

It's called a GPS (global positioning system).  And they're only as accurate as their files, which need to be updated now and then.  Alex and I have a Garmin GPS (which we call Carmen Garmin) that we sometimes use on long trips.  She's very handy for finding a gas station or a place to eat.  Or for finding just about anything (such as our hotel) in areas that we don't have detailed maps for.

She still thinks our road ends at the neighbor's house, though.  The end of a trip goes like this (including her quaint pronunciation):  "Navigay ting off-road.  Arriving a tome."

However, I just recently learned that (almost?) nobody sells maps anymore! Sacrilege! A friend and I were trying to find an alternate route back home recently, and I knew there was one, but we couldn't figure out how to get to it. Stopped at two convenience stores and a gas station; none of them sold maps anymore. Arrrghhh!

Do you remember back when gas stations offered free road maps?  *sigh*  Your best bet for finding detailed local maps (free or otherwise) these days is generally a town visitor's bureau or chamber of commerce.  And the AAA has decent state maps (though not as good as the old gas-company maps).

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I still have maps in my car, because I belong to the generation that actually can imagine a situation when navigation doesn't work. I'm using Nokia's service on my smartphone and it's actually the only feature that makes a smartphone useful to me. Driving alone with a paper map is a bit not good. At least the GPS took away my fear of driving in big foreign cities. Still, I always try to get the bigger picture before I start a journey, but it's usually Google Maps now.

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Yeah, I use Google maps quite often, because they have features that a printed map generally does not -- like the place where I need to turn is just past a McDonald's.  Very good for landmarks when I'm in a strange area.

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