Lowkey

I think I relate to him because I kinda am what his worst self is. When I watch and see sherlock sometimes I think I can immediately connect to how he's feeling or why he's doing it. In the first episode, when he's about to take that pill, it was this deep seated understanding that he was doing it because of course he was bored, tired of being bored, tired of being himself. And i just go same because I've been there before. When they call sherlock a freak or sherlock's awkward, there's this concrete understanding to myself that the reason he's like that is because he's never really been around people, just like I've never really been around people. That he had to use all that time of being alone and asking why he's alone that he filled it with something he's good at, something that impresses people, deductions and solving stuff. But he still hates himself because he sees himself as unlovable or a danger or a freak. And I sit there and I say same. But the problem is that I'm not half as interesting or smart or even competent as sherlock. The only reason why I was alone a lot of my life was because I was probably rude or awkward or annoying. That's why it's lowkey hard to even watch it sometimes because I'm built like sherlock but I'm only the worst of him. But idk he's a literal fictional character, I shouldn't think so much into it.