The Bad Puns Thread

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

Title says it all. Anyways, I'll start us off with a horrible one.

 

Which U.S. president was the least guilty?

 

 

 

Lincoln.

 

Because he was in a cent.

 

 

[jesskayding]

Hmmm I'm terrible @ puns. My friend Wale is great at them!

 

Well a hairy legs club is being started online for women who feel they shouldn't have to shave their legs.

 

To criticize their stance can get a little hairy. :-)

[Redbeard]

Who's a chicken's favourite composer?

Bach

[Carol the Dabbler]

Where is the *groan* button when you really need it? 

 

[jesskayding]

I know right. Hay Carole although I'm not good @ it.. I gave it a try.

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

Guess what Beethoven's doing right now!

 

 

Decomposing.

 

[jesskayding]

Awwwww. That's sad. Speaking of sad my friend Wale is moving away to Cleveland... We had a going away party today. He didn't do any puns because we were all crying...

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

Here're a few more awful puns, then, to cheer you up! ^_^

 

What do you get when the Pope takes a dump?

 

Holy crap!

 

 

What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?

 

"Bison."

 

 

What do you call a blind fruit?

 

Vision impeared.

 

[Arcadia]

I knew I was staying away from this thread for a reason. Groan, indeed!

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

I knew I was staying away from this thread for a reason. Groan, indeed!

 

I guess you don't find these puns very punny at all.

[Arcadia]

Oh, gawd.

[Arcadia]

Okay, you asked for it .......

• I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
•  
• It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.
•  
• Why did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn't resistor.
•  
• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

[jesskayding]

Okay! Now those were actually quute funny

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

The game is on, then!

 

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...

 

 

A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

 

[jesskayding]

Whomp whomp.

[Arcadia]

I think I just lost 5% of my brain capacity.

[jesskayding]

Benydoodle keep your jokes to yourself they lower the IQ of the whole forum.

[Arcadia]

That's so funny!

[jesskayding]

Well we'll be on break from puns till next Wednesday it seems.

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

Alright, I thought'a this one while down in Florida.

 

What do you call confident houses with security systems?

 

 

Sure locked homes.

 

[jesskayding]

Ok... Ha ha.

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

[jesskayding]

Ok. That was cute funny. I'll give you that one.

[Arcadia]

Aghgghgh, I'm in pain! Why do I torture myself by visiting this thread!!!!!

 

Q: What is unpleasant about being drunk?

A: Ask a glass of water.

 

(apologies to Douglas Adams....)

[jesskayding]

Heh heh.. Not!