The Bad Puns Thread

[Arcadia]

This seemed the most appropriate place for this bit of silliness: Dr. Who's on First

[Van Buren Supernova]

You dislike puns, yet you resurrected this.. the existence of a thread that I don't know about. XD
Hm....maybe deep, deep, deep down you do like puns.

I'm not sure if I really get the hang of them, but as you wish , I will continue making them, purposely or not, without remorse. :P
It's this, or shoes.

[Arcadia]

[Fantasy Lover]

I just found this, this seems fun

 

You dislike puns, yet you resurrected this.. the existence of a thread that I don't know about. XD

Hm....maybe deep, deep, deep down you do like puns.

 

I'm not sure if I really get the hang of them, but as you wish , I will continue making them, purposely or not, without remorse.

It's this, or shoes.

I thought you were going to say "it's this, cluedo."

 

Anyway, A furniture shop keeps calling me, all I wanted was a one night stand.

[Arcadia]

[Carol the Dabbler]

A minister, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

 

 

[Caya]

A minister, a priest, and a rabbit walk in to donate blood. The rabbit says, "I think I might be a type-O."

[Carol the Dabbler]

On 7/9/2020 at 12:02 AM, Caya said:

A minister, a priest, and a rabbit walk in to donate blood. The rabbit says, "I think I might be a type-O."

I'm proud to say that it took me a mere three hours to get that joke.  

In all fairness, though, it's an extremely complicated joke for a one-liner.  Just in case it has anyone else stumped, here's a far-too-thorough explanation:

 

First, you need to know that there's a whole genre of jokes about "a minister, a priest, and a rabbi" (in some order).  So the word "rabbit" might seem to be a pun.  You also need to know (since they're donating blood) that human blood comes in four basic types, A, B, AB, and O.  (I have no idea about rabbit blood.)  Finally, you need to know that a mis-typed word is called a typographical error, or "typo" for short.  So supposedly the person typing the joke "accidentally" typed rabbit when they meant rabbi, so the rabbit is indeed a Type-O (typo).

If the text is invisible when you open that box, all you need to do is highlight the contents of the box, as though you were planning to copy them, and -- just like magic ink -- the text will become visible.

[Artemis]

4 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

I'm proud to say that it took me a mere three hours to get that joke.  

Considering this is a bad puns thread, should I be ashamed to say that I got it instantly? 

 

[Carol the Dabbler]

6 hours ago, Artemis said:

should I be ashamed to say that I got it instantly? 

Not at all!  I apparently came at it from the wrong end, first misreading "rabbit" as "rabbi" (due to prior experience with such jokes), and then thinking that either "rabbit" was some kind of a pun or maybe the joke had something to do with actual blood types in rabbits.  When (hours later) it finally occurred to me that the joke might lie elsewhere, I got it almost immediately (though still not instantly -- so congratulations!).

 

[Valkyrie123]

On 7/10/2020 at 9:29 AM, Artemis said:

Considering this is a bad puns thread, should I be ashamed to say that I got it instantly? 

 

I got it instantly too! I focus on sound rather than words.

[Carol the Dabbler]

40 minutes ago, SherLOCKED123 said:

I got it instantly too! I focus on sound rather than words.

Ah, that must be the key!  I tend to focus on visual cues and/or meaning.

If I'd heard the joke rather than reading it, though, I would presumably have been more likely to get it.

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

On 7/10/2020 at 4:29 PM, Artemis said:

Considering this is a bad puns thread, should I be ashamed to say that I got it instantly? 

I got it instantly and I am not ashamed! In fact I'm very proud, where is Arcadia, she should be delighted too!

[Carol the Dabbler]

1 hour ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

where is Arcadia, she should be delighted too!

She sold her house, moved to new quarters (where she has a temporary housemate), AND went back to work, all at once.  That's been a couple of weeks, though, so hopefully she'll be back soon.  We could try talking about her behind her back and see if it makes her ears burn.

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

22 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

We could try talking about her behind her back and see if it makes her ears burn.

Butttt.. but have you seen her? There are no ears! I'm not even sure she has nose.

Everyone looks like their avatars right? Don't tell me otherwise, I have enough disappointment in my life.

[Arcadia]

On 7/18/2020 at 12:19 AM, Van Buren Supernova said:

Butttt.. but have you seen her? There are no ears! I'm not even sure she has nose.

Everyone looks like their avatars right? Don't tell me otherwise, I have enough disappointment in my life.

Hey, I have one ear! You can see it dangling down there on the left. And it ears perfectly well, thank you.

(and that was actually a typo, but when I realized it was also a pun I decided to leave it there. So there. And yes, VBS, you should be ashamed. Just on general principle.  )

[Carol the Dabbler]

2 hours ago, Arcadia said:

Hey, I have one ear! You can see it dangling down there on the left.

Have it your way, dearie.

(Psst, VBS -- I think she just glued an earring to the side of her head in a pathetic attempt to fool us all.  But she does have a nose -- remember how it turns red every December when she's had too much eggnog?)

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

11 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

Psst, VBS -- I think she just glued an earring to the side of her head in a pathetic attempt to fool us all. 

It does look like suspicious protuberance.

 

11 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

But she does have a nose -- remember how it turns red every December when she's had too much eggnog?

Oh yes! Of course I remember!

I don't mean to be nosy, but I don't think that nose is made by proper ol'-factory, although I'm sure she doesn't have problem running with it.

Oh my, I am on fire!! 

[Arcadia]

On 8/15/2020 at 12:51 AM, Van Buren Supernova said:

It does look like suspicious protuberance.

 

Oh yes! Of course I remember!

I don't mean to be nosy, but I don't think that nose is made by proper ol'-factory, although I'm sure she doesn't have problem running with it.

Oh my, I am on fire!! 

Gang, we have created a monster. I can remember when VBS didn't even know what a pun was. Oh, those were gentler times.........

[Carol the Dabbler]

There, there -- it could be worse.  Then again, maybe it will be.  

[Arcadia]

Okay, of all the threads on this forum, this is the one that obviously needs the most attention.

*clears throat*

What does a grape say when it is stepped on?

Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.

 

Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

To the retail store.

 

When Dad turned 65, he started running a mile a day to keep fit. He's 70 now and we have no idea where he is.

[Carol the Dabbler]

The laugh is for that last one, even though it's not actually a pun.  (Which I guess means it's a bad pun, so never mind.)

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

On 8/28/2020 at 5:04 PM, Arcadia said:

Gang, we have created a monster. I can remember when VBS didn't even know what a pun was. Oh, those were gentler times.........

I see that you have more protuberance in your avatar now to ensure that you indeed have earS. I heard you, but I like the original better, it's ear-replaceable. Can I lobby you with some g-listening idea to change it back? I really lobe the old one, it kinds pierces my feeling that you had it changed.

There there! I made that in less than two minutes! I have absolutely no idea if I did it right, but nevermind that, noone can tell me otherwise. I have fulfilled my purpose on earth this week. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

13 hours ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

I see that you have more protuberance in your avatar now to ensure that you indeed have earS.

Well, I wasn't going to say anything, in hopes that she'd think no one had noticed.  But now that the cat's out of the bag, I will say that in my opinion, the results of her cosmetic surgery were worth neither the expense nor the pain.  She apparently intended to look like a French poodle but missed by a mile.  Sorry, Arcadia!  

Come to think of it, though, maybe we just need to wait for the curls on her ears to grow in.

[Artemis]

I can’t tell if those are supposed to be pigtails, or some kind of horns, or faun ears...