The Bad Puns Thread

[Carol the Dabbler]

3 hours ago, Artemis said:

I can’t tell if those are supposed to be pigtails, or some kind of horns, or faun ears.

Of those choices, I'd have to go with the faun ears.  In fact, that photo could well be our first view of her face.  Odd though, I'd never imagined her with a beard.  Or should I say "him"?  (His/her profile lists gender as "Not telling.")

 

[Arcadia]

On 9/26/2020 at 2:21 AM, Van Buren Supernova said:

I see that you have more protuberance in your avatar now to ensure that you indeed have earS. I heard you, but I like the original better, it's ear-replaceable. Can I lobby you with some g-listening idea to change it back? I really lobe the old one, it kinds pierces my feeling that you had it changed.

There there! I made that in less than two minutes! I have absolutely no idea if I did it right, but nevermind that, noone can tell me otherwise. I have fulfilled my purpose on earth this week. 

 

On 9/26/2020 at 3:27 PM, Carol the Dabbler said:

Well, I wasn't going to say anything, in hopes that she'd think no one had noticed.  But now that the cat's out of the bag, I will say that in my opinion, the results of her cosmetic surgery were worth neither the expense nor the pain.  She apparently intended to look like a French poodle but missed by a mile.  Sorry, Arcadia!  

Come to think of it, though, maybe we just need to wait for the curls on her ears to grow in.

 

On 9/26/2020 at 7:08 PM, Artemis said:

I can’t tell if those are supposed to be pigtails, or some kind of horns, or faun ears...

 

On 9/26/2020 at 10:49 PM, Carol the Dabbler said:

Of those choices, I'd have to go with the faun ears.  In fact, that photo could well be our first view of her face.  Odd though, I'd never imagined her with a beard.  Or should I say "him"?  (His/her profile lists gender as "Not telling.")

All I can say is.....  

(And what makes you think those are ears, hmmm?)

[Van Buren Supernova]

So it's badly combed tail that is placed way too high?

Here is a piece of advice, you can ask Moriarty anything about back comb.

[Fantasy Lover]

Maybe they're horns .

[Van Buren Supernova]

I am curious about that friend of yours, does he know how famous is his shadow in this world?

[Arcadia]

On 10/1/2020 at 1:09 AM, Van Buren Supernova said:

I am curious about that friend of yours, does he know how famous is his shadow in this world?

Shadow? What shadow? 

[Carol the Dabbler]

A young farmer had a problem -- birds kept building their nests in his horse's mane.  Having no idea how to deal with this, he turned to the old farmer next door for advice.

"That's easy," the old fellow told him. "Just go down to the health-food store and get some brewer's yeast, and then rub some into your horse's mane."

That didn't sound like it could do any harm, so the young farmer gave it a try.  And sure enough, the birds stopped nesting in his horse's mane.

He made a point of thanking his neighbor, then asked how he had known what to do.

"Simple," he replied.  "I just went by the old saying: 'Yeast is yeast, and nest is nest, and never the mane shall tweet.'"

 

[Arcadia]

17 hours ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

A young farmer had a problem -- birds kept building their nests in his horse's mane.  Having no idea how to deal with this, he turned to the old farmer next door for advice.

"That's easy," the old fellow told him. "Just go down to the health-food store and get some brewer's yeast, and then rub some into your horse's mane."

That didn't sound like it could do any harm, so the young farmer gave it a try.  And sure enough, the birds stopped nesting in his horse's mane.

He made a point of thanking his neighbor, then asked how he had known what to do.

"Simple," he replied.  "I just went by the old saying: 'Yeast is yeast, and nest is nest, and never the mane shall tweet.'"

 

Egad. Now I know why this thread has been dead for over a year.  

[Carol the Dabbler]

I heard this one ages ago from my friend Ed.  So blame him, OK?

 

Two frogs were resting on a lily pad, lazily flicking their tongues out to catch insects.  And one of them said to the other, "Did you ever notice how time's fun when you're having flies?"

 

[Arcadia]

Found this online....

 

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting.

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

And so they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

 

[Carol the Dabbler]

*groan*

Lovely story, though,!

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

On 5/18/2022 at 12:02 PM, Arcadia said:

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

You just pretend to hate pun, do you?

Look at that masterpiece, you definitely don't beat around the bush with that one. I am stumped and pining for more!

[Carol the Dabbler]

Welcome back anyway, VBS!!!  

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

Happy to contribute, Carol!

This one looks Star Trekky, sorry if it's wrong. (I'm sure I'm wrong because I usually recognize some of the characters like the one with overthinking forehead and the one who looks like Mark Zuckerberg, and of course, face palming Patrick)

But I dedicate this to Star Trek fans here, and of course, Arcadia.

 

[Carol the Dabbler]

23 hours ago, Van Buren Supernova said:

This one looks Star Trekky, sorry if it's wrong. (I'm sure I'm wrong because I usually recognize some of the characters like the one with overthinking forehead and the one who looks like Mark Zuckerberg, and of course, face palming Patrick)

Those pictures are from Star Trek: Voyager, with Kate Mulgrew as the captain, and I assume that the series you're describing is Star Trek: Next Generation (but there are lots more).

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

Another one!

[Arcadia]

Oh Gawd. I knew I shouldn't have peeked into this thread.

But since I'm here...

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.