John Watson

[Van Buren Supernova]

... 

Sherlock finally said, meditatively, "I've lived in fear all my life. It was Jim Moriarty who pointed that out."

 

....

 

"He said you always feel it, but you don't have to fear it. That it was all good. Pain. Heartbreak. Loss." Sherlock looked at John again. "Shows you're alive, at least."

 

John gave a sour little bark of laughter. "That's the truth."

 

Sherlock slid wearily down the leather seat. Looking up at the ceiling, he said, "I always thought of love as something childish, but now ... it seems to be the only reasonable response."

....

But that is not true!

Love is the only reasonable response? What on earth is that supposed to mean? I can't make sense of it as response for pain, heartbreak and loss. 

Love cause them, that is undeniable, but response? How so?

I don't know how to defend what I say, so let 's call it a truce, that we agree I'm right, you are less right. :P

 

​Warning: schmaltzy, idealistic romanticism, dead ahead.

Oh! You did give a warning. XD

I should have known I shouldn't read it then. Dang all of you romantics.   

 

The I've lived in fear all my life is true though, I believe everyone relates to this in certain level.

I fear for the well-being of my loved ones constantly, selfishly (mostly) or not.

 

 

So when he's confessing to Mary, when he's letting out his guilt and feelings of failure, when he's describing the kind of man he wants to be but isn't ... he's talking to himself, but I think he's also talking to the other person who's actually in the room, Sherlock. The confession even starts with him talking directly to Sherlock ("I cheated on her.") So I think it's meant to work both ways; when he says "Who you thought I was is the man I want to be," I think that applies to both Mary and Sherlock. He should have been a better husband; he should have been a better friend. He thinks he let them both down. But he also wants to go forward, and try to mend what they had. He doesn't have that chance with Mary, but he does with Sherlock.

 

So I guess that's why I think that John Watson, in his own very emotionally constipated way, apologized to Sherlock for hurting him, for not being the friend he should have been. His apology was more in the form of soul cleansing, but to my mind that makes it more sincere. It also makes me want to hug him, and I don't think I've ever said that about John before. He's usually too prickly. Hm.

I have to say I disagree with you. As much as it's nice how you put it, I didn't get it that way.

I do think John feels bad for hurting Sherlock, from his confession with Lestrade, but not on the level that he is supposed to feel. I understand John has difficulty in saying smoochy things, but yes, agree with Pesud, that is not an apology, even for the most inexpressive person. Sherlock did it multiple times, and he is not exactly much more expressive than John. He admits Sherlock didn't kill Mary, and he thinks it's sufficient to make good with Sherlock. Maybe to Sherlock, but it's not enough for me.

 

I think John always tries to be better for Sherlock, but only in intelligence area. He always tries to keep up with Sherlock because he admires that quality. He happily put in suit and ties to see Mycroft when Sherlock said he sent his best man, he wanted to really be that and put his best effort (I always love this scene in TGG), he tried and felt very good about 'solving' Connie Prince's murder, that he finally got some talent like his flatmate, he always tries his best when Sherlock asks his input in crime scene. 

 

However, in social awareness and morality area, I somehow get that John always feel superior compared to Sherlock. Not superior as in being extreme smug about it, but he considers himself a better person in that area, that he is the moral compass, the one Sherlock outsources his conscience to, as pointed by Mycroft. He points to Sherlock what is good and not, and gives him warning when he gets out of hand (SIB), nudges him for proper response (TRF), puts him on his place to make sure Sherlock knows the priority is to do good and save people (TSoT), it's even embedded in Sherlock's mind (TAB) about how high is John's expectation and pressure on him about that. So to me, John doesn't question him being better in that area, he knows so, at least compared to Sherlock. It could be right, in the past.

 

In a way, him breaking down at that point is more about how he lost control of his footing in his marriage, which, like you said, is something he could never repair because Mary is dead. It's like saying something hurtful to someone you love and that is the last thing they remember about you, it multiplies the grief I suppose.

The idea of this making him want to mend his way with Sherlock is plausible in the future, but at that very moment, I don't think he paid any attention to Sherlock and how he treated him, or worse, that he also wronged him that way. Not at that moment. I believe that moment it's totally self-centric about him, regarding Mary, who was not actually there.

 

But at the very least, he finally confided in Sherlock, which is a good book end. When Sherlock was dead, Mary saved him. Now it's the other way around.

 

But he doesn't get my hug.

Alright, alright, I won't kick him too, I think kicking someone is cruel (right JOHN?! )

 

I said I won't kick him, but it doesn't mean I'd stop someone else from doing so. So GET HIM, Pseud!

(I didn't joke, I took a quick peek at the scene to see if he really kicked Sherlock, in case my memory fails me, and I'm pissed again. Not sure how it's going to flare for actual rewatch.)

[Pseudonym]

That's why I want to kick him. Again, and again, and again, like he did to Sherlock, and see how much he likes it. And then I'd say 'I'm not a good person, but I wish I was,' and see if he takes that as an acceptably heartfelt apology. 

[gerry]

He's usually too prickly. Hm.

If you think John is too prickly, how would you describe Sherlock?

[Pseudonym]

I know that's aimed at Arcadia, but I find John much more prickly than Sherlock. I think it's because Sherlock is rude and arrogant but he is blunt and you know where you stand with him. John, on the other hand, is more passive aggressive, seems more angry, he's more likely to make pointed little comments rather than just come out and say what he means. He seems like someone who should be open and friendly, but he really isn't. 

[gerry]

So to me, John doesn't question him being better in that area, he knows so, at least compared to Sherlock. It could be right, in the past.

It was definitely true for me throughout the seasons. Sherlock has shown repeatedly that he doesn't have a high sense of morality based on how he talks to people close to him and others not so much as well as murdering someone in cold blood with not one ounce of doubt or regret.

 

The idea of this making him want to mend his way with Sherlock is plausible in the future, but at that very moment, I don't think he paid any attention to Sherlock and how he treated him, or worse, that he also wronged him that way. Not at that moment. I believe that moment it's totally self-centric about him, regarding Mary, who was not actually there.

I completely agree here which is why I thought the Mary retcon as an angelic figure was a bit OTT given her lying about her past and the current state of their marriage.

 

But at the very least, he finally confided in Sherlock, which is a good book end. When Sherlock was dead, Mary saved him. Now it's the other way around.

Very well said!

[gerry]

I know that's aimed at Arcadia, but I find John much more prickly than Sherlock. I think it's because Sherlock is rude and arrogant but he is blunt and you know where you stand with him. John, on the other hand, is more passive aggressive, seems more angry, he's more likely to make pointed little comments rather than just come out and say what he means. He seems like someone who should be open and friendly, but he really isn't.

I find neither man is the warm/fuzzy type and both are emotionally repressed just in different ways. Sherlock gets a lot of credit for feeling a lot but just suppressing it however I see John as wearing his past traumas on his sleeve so he seems emotionally weary with an underlying resentment for having gone through the traumas (like Sherlock's fake suicide or Mary's lying). To me the only difference is that Sherlock claims (whether you believe him or not) to not value relationships with others where John does so John at least tries to navigate those complicated land mines with some effort even if he fails to confront his issues head on where Sherlock avoids them all for the most part by keeping people at arm's length. I find both to be interesting but damaged people.

[Pseudonym]

Yea, I agree they are both repressed and damaged, though I still find John a lot more prickly. He's the type of man I would feel uncomfortable around and avoid because I get a sense of underlying aggression from him. 

[gerry]

I don't see underlying aggression from him all the time, only to the people that have hurt him, so I don't find him that prickly as a general demeanor. He's perfectly cordial to most others.

[Pseudonym]

Hm, it'll have to be an agree to disagree I think. 

[mishab]

"..it's even embedded in Sherlock's mind (TAB) about how high is John's expectation and pressure on him about that."

 

Is John's expectation really high? Is it so difficult to say ,for example, to the grieving couple in TST 'I am sorry your son died. I will try my best to find his killer'? Are geniouses like Sherlock so delicate that expecting them of basic courtesy is putting pressure on them? If you were in John's position what would you do everytime Sherlock says something inconsiderate?

 

The apologies in this show are generally non-existant. If we can accept Sherlock's 'apology' in the empty hearse then i dont see why we can't do the same with John's apology.

 

It's not just John but everyone around Sherlock expect him to be better behaved. Mary is also seen correcting Sherlock more than once in TST but it's mostly fallen into John's hands to push Sherlock to be more cordial. I dont think John seeks to be a moral compass.He does not go around correcting people in general. His main reason for being with Sherlock is the adventure and thrill that Sherlock provides him. But like a said before, if you have a friend like Sherlock, wouldn't you also try to correct him?

Edited May 20, 2017 by Carol the Dabbler
Setting certain specific bsckground colors can make a post unreadable with certain themes.

[Pseudonym]

Actually I'm probably more like Sherlock than John, I can be very blunt and generally disinterested in people. So I probably wouldn't correct him unless he said something particularly heinous. 

 

We need more apologies all around imo. Sherlock's apology in TEH isn't great but at least he does actually say sorry. Though the trickery of getting John to forgive him in the train carriage was pretty terrible - I thought it would have pushed John away more, but apparently it worked so maybe Sherlock knew what he was doing. 

 

I think it's the implied lack of self-confidence that gets me about the beating, that Sherlock seems to feel it's fine for him to be treated that way and by John not apologising it's like he agrees - beating you up is no big deal, because it's you, and you can take it. 

[gerry]

Wasn't it guilt for Sherlock not lack of confidence? It's like the only time in the show he felt shame or guilt about anything.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I think I agree with you, gerry. Both Sherlock and John seem to spend most of S4 feeling guilty, and that's bound to affect their behavior.

 

Also, I think most of us assume that Sherlock gave Molly an apology, or at least an explanation, for the ILY incident. So why can't we also assume that John apologized to Sherlock? If it wasn't shown in the episode, maybe that's because male-to-male apologies tend to be kind of subliminal by female standards, so why bother?

[gerry]

That's the problem with Moftiss' writing though... there are emotional beats they find insignificant but really should be done onscreen to have a satisfying conclusion to emotional moments. They're great at the building up to emotional moments but the aftermaths generally suck. Personally I'd rather have a great ending because a great ending can save a mediocre middle but a poor ending can ruin the entire journey.

[Arcadia]

Heh, heh, heh, I knew my sappy, syrupy posts would stir up you bunch of cynics! :d

[Carol the Dabbler]

That's the problem with Moftiss' writing though... there are emotional beats they find insignificant but really should be done onscreen to have a satisfying conclusion to emotional moments. They're great at the building up to emotional moments but the aftermaths generally suck. Personally I'd rather have a great ending because a great ending can save a mediocre middle but a poor ending can ruin the entire journey.

 

Maybe you'd better stick to shows written by women.  ;)

[gerry]

 

 

That's the problem with Moftiss' writing though... there are emotional beats they find insignificant but really should be done onscreen to have a satisfying conclusion to emotional moments. They're great at the building up to emotional moments but the aftermaths generally suck. Personally I'd rather have a great ending because a great ending can save a mediocre middle but a poor ending can ruin the entire journey.

Maybe you'd better stick to shows written by women. ;)

LOL! Then you have soaps like Grey's Anatomy that are the complete other extreme. Can we have somewhere in the middle??? Is that too much to ask? All I ask for is balance. Maybe all writing teams should have men and women so there is balance because when it's only one or the other something seems to be missing.

[Arcadia]

 

... 

Sherlock finally said, meditatively, "I've lived in fear all my life. It was Jim Moriarty who pointed that out."

 

....

 

"He said you always feel it, but you don't have to fear it. That it was all good. Pain. Heartbreak. Loss." Sherlock looked at John again. "Shows you're alive, at least."

 

John gave a sour little bark of laughter. "That's the truth."

 

Sherlock slid wearily down the leather seat. Looking up at the ceiling, he said, "I always thought of love as something childish, but now ... it seems to be the only reasonable response."

....

But that is not true!

Love is the only reasonable response? What on earth is that supposed to mean? I can't make sense of it as response for pain, heartbreak and loss. 

 

I don't know how to defend what I say, so let 's call it a truce, that we agree I'm right, you are less right. :P

 

I can't think of any other reasonable response to emotional pain. Ignoring it doesn't help, adding to it doesn't help, you can't give someone a pill or an operation for it ... what else can be offered but love? Although maybe compassion would be a more accurate word. The author just chose to be more poetic, imo. More sappy. :P

 

​

So when he's confessing to Mary, when he's letting out his guilt and feelings of failure, when he's describing the kind of man he wants to be but isn't ... he's talking to himself, but I think he's also talking to the other person who's actually in the room, Sherlock. The confession even starts with him talking directly to Sherlock ("I cheated on her.") So I think it's meant to work both ways; when he says "Who you thought I was is the man I want to be," I think that applies to both Mary and Sherlock. He should have been a better husband; he should have been a better friend. He thinks he let them both down. But he also wants to go forward, and try to mend what they had. He doesn't have that chance with Mary, but he does with Sherlock.

 

So I guess that's why I think that John Watson, in his own very emotionally constipated way, apologized to Sherlock for hurting him, for not being the friend he should have been. His apology was more in the form of soul cleansing, but to my mind that makes it more sincere. It also makes me want to hug him, and I don't think I've ever said that about John before. He's usually too prickly. Hm.

 

I think John always tries to be better for Sherlock, but only in intelligence area. He always tries to keep up with Sherlock because he admires that quality. He happily put in suit and ties to see Mycroft when Sherlock said he sent his best man, he wanted to really be that and put his best effort (I always love this scene in TGG), he tried and felt very good about 'solving' Connie Prince's murder, that he finally got some talent like his flatmate, he always tries his best when Sherlock asks his input in crime scene. 

 

However, in social awareness and morality area, I somehow get that John always feel superior compared to Sherlock. Not superior as in being extreme smug about it, but he considers himself a better person in that area, that he is the moral compass, the one Sherlock outsources his conscience to, as pointed by Mycroft. He points to Sherlock what is good and not, and gives him warning when he gets out of hand (SIB), nudges him for proper response (TRF), puts him on his place to make sure Sherlock knows the priority is to do good and save people (TSoT), it's even embedded in Sherlock's mind (TAB) about how high is John's expectation and pressure on him about that. So to me, John doesn't question him being better in that area, he knows so, at least compared to Sherlock. It could be right, in the past.

 

I think pre-Season 3, there might be something to what you say, although I never got the feeling John thought he was a more moral person than Sherlock, he just thinks it doesn't help to antagonize people if he can avoid it.

 

But after S3? Here's what Sherlock says he thinks of John during the best man's speech:

 

[He is] "the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing."

​[i am] "redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship."  

"The best and bravest man I know."

[This is] "how invaluable John is to me. I can read a crime scene the way he can understand a human being."

​"But a word to the wise: should any of you require the services of either of us, I will solve your murder, but it takes John Watson to save your life. Trust me on that – I should know. He’s saved mine so many times, and in so many ways."

 

Wow. That's quite a load to pile on someone, especially if they're someone who takes their role in life very seriously, as I imagine John does. After that, I think he felt it was his duty to be the man Sherlock said he was. And possibly he resented, a bit, being held to such a high standard.

 

In a way, him breaking down at that point is more about how he lost control of his footing in his marriage, which, like you said, is something he could never repair because Mary is dead. It's like saying something hurtful to someone you love and that is the last thing they remember about you, it multiplies the grief I suppose.

The idea of this making him want to mend his way with Sherlock is plausible in the future, but at that very moment, I don't think he paid any attention to Sherlock and how he treated him, or worse, that he also wronged him that way. Not at that moment. I believe that moment it's totally self-centric about him, regarding Mary, who was not actually there.

 

Okay, I see that ... and I guess I think of it this way .... in the show, John was thinking only of himself. But I think the scene works on more than one level, so I still think the meaning of what he says is also meant for Sherlock ... AND the other recipients of his words, us, the audience. It's sappy and sentimental and clichéd, but I think the message is: love is good because it makes us want to be better people. Is it true? I don't know, but I like to think so. Better than any alternative I've heard of, anyway. (And again, we're not just talking about romantic love here, but kindness, compassion, loyalty, blah blah blah. Being human-e.)

 

 

He's usually too prickly. Hm.

If you think John is too prickly, how would you describe Sherlock?

 

Damaged, delusional and believing in a higher power. Namely, himself.

 

Yea, I agree they are both repressed and damaged, though I still find John a lot more prickly. He's the type of man I would feel uncomfortable around and avoid because I get a sense of underlying aggression from him.

Same here. Again, not in S1-2, though. But 3 and after, yes. Frighteningly so, sometimes. I wonder if that was written in, or is it an acting choice of Martin's? It makes sense, given what's been done to John, but it's not very comfortable.

 

I don't see underlying aggression from him all the time, only to the people that have hurt him, so I don't find him that prickly as a general demeanor. He's perfectly cordial to most others.

 

​And that's perfectly true also. And yet, for all his rudeness and bombast, I don't think I would feel nervous about incurring Sherlock's wrath; he's in control of himself. But I'd be wary of antagonizing John.

 

I think I agree with you, gerry. Both Sherlock and John seem to spend most of S4 feeling guilty, and that's bound to affect their behavior.

 

Also, I think most of us assume that Sherlock gave Molly an apology, or at least an explanation, for the ILY incident. So why can't we also assume that John apologized to Sherlock? If it wasn't shown in the episode, maybe that's because male-to-male apologies tend to be kind of subliminal by female standards, so why bother?

Actually, I don't assume Sherlock apologized to Molly; I have no idea what to make of that particular oversight (not showing us the aftermath of the ILY phone call.) I feel like it's completely open-ended, which is weird considering almost nothing else is left that way.

 

But I do assume John "formally" apologized to Sherlock, although I doubt he said the words "I'm sorry." They seemed to be comfortable with each other again at the beginning of TFP, I took that to mean enough time had gone by that they'd worked out their issues. Probably John bought Sherlock a pint and that was the end of that. It's hard for me to imagine either of them using actual words to convey what they mean to each other.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Right. They're guys.

 

Regarding John's increased prickliness and aggressiveness in S3 and 4, I assume you mean in HLV and thereafter. Other than headbutting Sherlock (several times), he seems to me like the same good ol' John prior to that.

 

After the big reveal, I think John is sorta shellshocked. He's not really himself, in a sense. He's feeling betrayed, and is therefore understandably defensive.

[Van Buren Supernova]

@Apology

I didn't mean I want the actual I'm sorry, and I can accept if it's done off screen as well, as I suspect they thought we know Sherlock and John's relationship well enough at this point to draw the conclusion, and I don't really want to see everything spelled out.

But the missing thing is, John realizing the actual damages he had done with his accusations and actions to Sherlock. I fail to feel his remorse. The scene with Lestrade could be a start, but that's all. I keep waiting for something more as indication/gesture about it at the end of TLD, but it's all about himself and Mary. It's funny, I feel bad with fictional Sherlock, that he thinks he deserves it. That is the fundamental point that is so wrong to me. I can see that has potential to f-up his way of thinking about friendship because he doesn't know anything better. And it's not okay. Always.

 

"..it's even embedded in Sherlock's mind (TAB) about how high is John's expectation and pressure on him about that."

Is John's expectation really high? Is it so difficult to say ,for example, to the grieving couple in TST 'I am sorry your son died. I will try my best to find his killer'? Are geniouses like Sherlock so delicate that expecting them of basic courtesy is putting pressure on them? If you were in John's position what would you do everytime Sherlock says something inconsiderate?

The apologies in this show are generally non-existant. If we can accept Sherlock's 'apology' in the empty hearse then i dont see why we can't do the same with John's apology.

It's not just John but everyone around Sherlock expect him to be better behaved. Mary is also seen correcting Sherlock more than once in TST but it's mostly fallen into John's hands to push Sherlock to be more cordial. I dont think John seeks to be a moral compass.He does not go around correcting people in general. His main reason for being with Sherlock is the adventure and thrill that Sherlock provides him. But like a said before, if you have a friend like Sherlock, wouldn't you also try to correct him?

Your questions:

If you were in John's position what would you do everytime Sherlock says something inconsiderate?

Honestly?

My answer, nothing. And I don't know. Because normally, I'm the one who fill that role. In my defense, I'm just being honest, sometimes without the effort of thinking it through twice first. So what I would do, is trying to shut up if I don't have good thing to say (for personal settings). But after awhile, people who know me pick up on that, and try to make me say it anyway. But you'd be surprised, I actually don't repel them, in fact, many appreciate it, to my wonder as well. Of course I stepped on toes, some can't handle it but I call it natural selection. It sounds bad to you, I assume.

 

But like a said before, if you have a friend like Sherlock, wouldn't you also try to correct him?

Sorry to disappoint you, but again, no. I would try to correct him if he physically hurt someone or say things that harmful in serious way (although it remains a question why I befriend someone like that) but I wouldn't correct him just because I feel the need to babysit other's feelings. If they know him, that's him, they should adjust their expectations if they still feel the need to hang out with him. Having said that, I suppose he could fly out of handle sometimes, then I probably give him a talk, to help him see from another perspective, but that's all. Normally I choose friends because I like them, as they are.

 

Regarding your other questions, about John's expectation and also the questions above, I dug up my posts somewhere else (Molly and John's thread) because I think it's still relevant. I put in spoiler box because the post is long enough and people don't need to see it again if they don't want to.

 

But I don't think you'd like what I said. There is nothing wrong with that. I think it's just, in this case, you relate more to John, I relate more to Sherlock. Just different way of seeing things, it'd be damn boring if everyone agrees with each other.

 

 

 

 

Regarding inconsiderate.

 

Sherlock is being honest and sometimes doesn’t stop to think whether what he says is socially good or not. To be fair, he does that in situation when he has to socialize, whether someone comes to the house or when he is investigating a case or doing a task. While he is capable to be polite, these are mostly situations where he doesn’t feel the need to, when his personal place is being invaded or when he is questioning possible perpetrators or intelligence of authority, which in his eyes, should exercise certain level of acceptable intelligence to be put in their positions that makes him frustrated when they are not. It could be maddening when people are not qualified for the position they have.

 

Imho, I’d rather meet someone like Sherlock when I know where he really stands even if he insults me in the face, than getting common pleasantries that may or may not be true behind me.

 

Well, of course, it’s nice to be respectful in all kind of situations, that’s what some people are naturally wired for, but not all. Remember what is easy for some may be difficult for others. Those who are good in being respectful and always say the right things may find it difficult when they have to be honest, and vice versa.

 

It’s just a weakness/strength depends on which side you see it from.

 

 

 

Regarding John and Molly's expectation with Sherlock.

 

Sorry I have to relate it to myself, don't have better way to explain it. I see John and Molly's friendship to Sherlock as a bit (quite a lot) smoothering. I know, I know, they care about him and wants him well, all those. I had given a lot of examples regarding John in other threads, him wanting Sherlock to be a hero, a better man, hold up to higher standard, those. Smoothering! And Molly, she slapped Sherlock.

 

Again, I understand their intention. Good and well. It takes a level up or more than ordinary friend to make them care about you that way. It's something to be grateful about. But let's forget that for a moment and focus on the recipient of those, Sherlock.

 

Personally, when friends continue to criticize, demand or judge me to be what they want me to be, they wouldn't see me often or at all. I'd bolt, that would be my first and subsequent reactions until I have nowhere to run. (But Sherlock stays) They would drive me mad actually, who are you to demand me to be what you want me to be? As long as I'm not harmful to others, why should I be? And the slap. I swear if a friend slapped me they would feel the same tingling sensation before they even rest their hand parallel to their body. I only grant slapping right to my parents and they also need to have very good justification for that, and to me, it should be applicable to anyone.

 

Good old story would tell you that you would come to realization that they are right and they probably run out of other ways to make you see that to justify their actions, then all of you embrace and ride to the sunset.

But the reality is, why wouldn't these friend try to see it, in this case, Sherlock's way?

It's hard enough to fit in, hard enough to accept their presences, hard enough to understand himself, it's not exactly rocket science (I hate this phrase too) that relationship is complicated for someone like Sherlock.

 

 

[Pseudonym]

Ah, VBS, I agree with everything. 

 

I have a, likely very unpopular, comment on Molly's slap. The fact is that Sherlock is an adult, and it's not actually any of her business whether he decides to take drugs in his spare time or not. This isn't a TLD scenario, he is not high all the time, he's not off the rails. She is not his girlfriend, not that I think she should slap him then either, she has no right to react like that. It also seems a bit out of character, I wonder if it was another attempt at making a 'strong woman' that missed the mark.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Funny -- I never thought about it till just now, but I don't interpret Molly's slap as a punishment kind of slap, but more of a "wake up, you idiot!" kind of thing. Dunno if that would make any difference to you, though.

[Pseudonym]

I see it as both. But no, it doesn't make a difference.

[gerry]

Actually, I don't assume Sherlock apologized to Molly; I have no idea what to make of that particular oversight (not showing us the aftermath of the ILY phone call.) I feel like it's completely open-ended, which is weird considering almost nothing else is left that way. 

I'm not sure who wrote the ILY call between Moffat and Gatiss but according to Moffat that call was insignificant so much so that they could just go back to being friends like nothing ever happened so I doubt Moffat considers it open ended. I'm not sure how anyone can believe that when one person conveys romantic feelings that the other person may or not reciprocate it would have zero affect on their friendship but that's what Moffat believes. It's like Moffat sees Molly/Sherlock's friendship like John/Sherlock's so Sherlock would just be able to say oh Eurus made me so they could go back to the status quo which would make sense for J/S type of friendship but not M/S.

 

It also seems a bit out of character, I wonder if it was another attempt at making a 'strong woman' that missed the mark.

Funny -- I never thought about it till just now, but I don't interpret Molly's slap as a punishment kind of slap, but more of a "wake up, you idiot!" kind of thing. Dunno if that would make any difference to you, though.

I was annoyed at the three slaps which seemed very excessive and I did find Molly's slaps out of character but it probably was Moffat's attempt to make Molly assertive. Can we assume it was just recreational drug use though? She had tested his blood or urine and knew his drug levels and he was staying at a drug house. I thought the implication was that he was doing more drugs than simple recreational use. Also Molly wanted him to say he was sorry to those that loved him and for wasting his beautiful gifts so it probably was both punishment and a wake up warning at the same time.

[gerry]

But the missing thing is, John realizing the actual damages he had done with his accusations and actions to Sherlock. I fail to feel his remorse.

Couldn't the same be said for Sherlock? He didn't feel truly guilty about anything until Mary died. Sherlock rarely realizes or cares about the affect his actions have on others so I don't often feel sorry for either of them or at least not about what they do towards each other.