Shoot the Wall (A.K.A. The Rant Thread)

[Shadow Dweller]

@VBS: You are really a kind person to not report that. [is waiting to see VBS melting because of freaking out from the praise.]

[Pseudonym]

God no, I'd be absolutely furious too. I'd be expecting them to go and buy me new mature plants to replace the ones they've destroyed, not that it would be the same but at least those would grow and flower quicker. And the cheek of that bloke to come out proudly after what he'd done, what kind of idiot would think anyone would be happy their flowers were chopped off?! And to go onto another person's property, even if it was outside of the fence, to 'tidy' their plants? Gah!

[Carol the Dabbler]

How could the owner think it was OK to tell her employee to mess with someone else's flowers in front of someone else's house?  And how could the employee think it was OK to do that?  (The sweeping up, maybe, but the hacking -- no way!)  But yeah, there are some people like that.

 

One day we noticed that our neighbor was mowing the edge of our meadow, and when we asked him to stop, he explained that he was just being helpful.  (I think what he meant was that if we weren't going to maintain our property according to his standards, then he'd see to it himself, but he was tactful enough not to put it that way.)  So I explained that we think of that part of our property as a wildlife preserve (there are some lovely redwing blackbirds and meadow larks and bobwhite quail nesting there), and if he wanted his property to look like a golf course, that was fine with us, but please leave our meadow alone.  To his credit, I think he actually understood, and hasn't done it again.

[Shadow Dweller]

What are you going to do to a neighbour who cut most of your fruit tree's branches when you are in vacation? VBS is still nice even with thinking to report the vandalism act. Some people burned that neighbour's garden with weedkiller.

[Van Buren Supernova]

Actually what you mean by 'kind' is totally for selfish reasons:

- If I had reported them, I'd have to go through all the hassles, then 'resident authority' would have to moderate us. My prediction is they would apologize, and the moderator would try to help calming me down and explaining the situation about the 'misunderstanding'. So you see, I have enough and don't need those, in fact, another explanations by third party would probably make me even more angry and I would just waste my time to dwell more on that. I think the owner's way of apologizing without trying to justify the unjustifiable, trying to reason or put excuses, is the best way to deal with me, because I wouldn't be able to stand anymore bullcrap. Although I think her offer etc sounds like privileged attitude in dealing with things, I appreciate that she came and knocked and didn't try to put the blame on the driver but owning up to that.  

 

- I don't need drama and hostility in the environment I stay in. I believe it would be unnecessary to create those, I could very well see that it's quite shocking for them that I got really mad and marched up to demand responsibility, questioned and obviously pointed how stupid their logic and action are. In fact, they seem frightened and it's quite obvious that they probably always deal with agreeable people. NOW they know they don't mess with my garden and be much more careful around others.

 

- It seems quite possible to me that it is the driver who take the command 'too literally', from the reaction of the helper and the owner when they see the fence. Again, unless they are oscar winners but I doubt so. They probably want my garden to look like theirs; neat, yah 'golfcoursy, landscapy, topiary type' while I prefer organic look, but the driver took the command too far. He probably think cutting heads off to tidy up hair is a good idea. The fact that he was pleased when he saw me and proudly announced what he did is quite obvious that he didn't know better, but no worries, I didn't skip a beat to let him know.

As much as I'm pissed, I also don't want to cause the lost of job for the driver. And they did apologize profusely and admitted the mistake. If they had taken offensive stance then I wouldn't think twice of making it a goal to get them.

 

For the replacement plants, I'm sure if I'd said it, I would have it. It did cross my mind, however, I don't want that. There is no place for other plants, what he cut was the limbs of my plants that yes, need long time to mature, and it's conditioned to wrap around my fence nicely that I could still open my whole gate if I need to. The plants are still there and I also have short plants outside below the fence.

They could add a row of in front of those, it would reduce the street buffer, that would also mean less sunshine for existing plant, and there is NO way I'd let them feel that they have fixed the mistake by buying me new plant that probably don't suit to my taste even if they are the same plant (as said, I mixed the arrangement of mine and they have integrated nicely), and I don't want further interaction to discuss about it or even give them the slight right to touch my garden again when they actually have 'share' with the new plants, or giving them the pleasure of looking into nice new facade that hide my butchered fence.

And I don't want them to feel better by thinking that they make me feel better by giving me new plants. 

I am going to look at it, they are going to look at it. At least one frigging year. 

 

 

[Arcadia]

I'm amazed this woman thought it was okay to tell an employee to go mess with someone else's property. Unless ... is there some question over whether the outside of the fence is private or public property? We had a similar run in with a neighbor at our summer cottage; about a foot and a half of our fence was in the "official" right of way (but not in the actual road, which is, technically, on our property, but that's a different issue) ... and every summer, after we left, he'd hire someone to come and cut down all the vines that grew on the fence. He also had them dig up a bush I'd planted, and removed some rocks that were lining a flower bed and threw them onto the beach; things like that. But we couldn't prove it, and he could afford a lawyer and we couldn't, so we just had to put up with it. The vines, bless them, promptly grew back every year, thicker than ever. :D As did some tall weeds, which we just left in place out of spite; more for him to have cut down. ;) Oh, and for three years in a row, the fence mysteriously fell down on one side ("under the weight of the snow" we were told.) We'd arrive in the summer and put it right back up again. Everyone would act all innocent; "no, we never saw it happen." The jerk finally up and died and guess what; we haven't had a problem since. What a surprise.

 

Urk ... sorry, this wasn't supposed to be about me, was it? I think you have every right to be angry and react the way you did. And then some. There.

[Van Buren Supernova]

No no, it's not supposed to be about me too. Anyway, I'm glad (not!) to hear there are actually quite many jerks out there. No I mean I'm glad you guys also think it's not an okay thing to do.

Probably they consider undesirable condition to their eyes is the disgrace to neighborhood, but fcough them.

 

 

 

Different but similar rant.

Anyway I really dislike having arguments with obnoxious idiots because the only way to make them listen is to sink down to their level and have shouting match.

And they thought it's their victory when we don't bother to engage them.

[Arcadia]

I think it's the high-handedness of some of these actions that gets to us. In our case, I'm pretty sure if our neighbor had come to my Dad and said "Hey neighbor, I'm concerned about the vines on your fence for these reasons, can we work something out?", my Dad would've moved heaven and earth to try to accommodate him. But instead the guy snuck around and did things behind our backs to suit himself. Bleh.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Right, and the guy took it upon himself to start mowing our meadow without so much as notifying us.

 

In all fairness, I should probably mention that the area of meadow in question is an access easement for the lot north of us.  Apparently this fellow interpreted that to mean that it had to be kept open for traffic at all times, while our own interpretation is that the easement comes into play only if/when someone decides to build a house on that lot.

 

Even so, his actions struck me as pretty high-handed.

[Fantasy Lover]

AAAARGH!!! Stupid, annoying, worthless public traffic. I waited for THIRTY minutes in the bloody rain because apparently my bus to work takes a detour and I didn't know. WHY did nobody tell me? Thank God I'm having my drivers lessons next month.

[Van Buren Supernova]

@Arcadia & Carol.

Agree. High-handed is the right word, it's new for me.

Especially in my case when there is no way in any form that he improved the condition.

I wonder if I walked over and chop their plants and said I did some cleaning up for them they'd be happy about it.

 

The problem is, the guy doesn't seem to have common sense, I had to be really mad in order for him to get that it's not okay.

Just because he thinks it's not big deal and it'd grow back (in a year!) means I'd smile, we'd go our ways live happily ever after and I'd let him off. There was nothing I could do, right, but first and foremost, I had to let you know it's freaking not okay. (Well, it seems to me that people around here are quite forgiving, maybe that contributes to the way he handled it). Even after I left him I still felt I had a lot of anger to express.

However, when the boss came over and owned up to everything, I found that there was no need for me to be angry (eventhough I was still pissed of course), nothing much to say anymore because she knows it's wrong in her part. And among my monstrous mood, I could see that it's rare for a boss to stand up and own the employee's mistake as totally her own (that is what I believe that there is a missing link with command and execution result).

 

I suppose in this case (and mostly in other situation) sometimes I'm more angry (or it's an exponential multiplication) about the attempt of poor justifications, excuses to cover up a mistake than the mistake itself. Even when I was blowing up, I knew the damages was done and whatever word I said wouldn't bring them back, but I just couldn't accept that he was not remorseful or understood the situation.

 

 

@Fantasy

Basically the unreliability of public transport was the reason that I took up painful motorcycle lesson. (in where I was back then, it was extremely difficult to pass).

And another reason is because all those nice parks and natural places that I like were only accessible with personal transport of bloody expensive cabs.

 

 

[Carol the Dabbler]

VBS: I fully agree about the infuriating effect when someone who has (in my view) clearly screwed up insists on claiming everything's OK. Also the calming effect of such a person admitting that they screwed up.

 

Nothing to do with any of our stories here, but I'd just like to point out that there's a sort of fake way of claiming to admit that one screwed up without actually admitting a blessed thing -- namely the old "I take full responsibility" statement. Once they've said that, you'd look like a jerk if you kept demanding that they admit they were wrong, or demand an apology. They'll claim that they just did that.

[Van Buren Supernova]

Oh yes, I encounter that sort as well, it's normally quite easy to spot them because they are usually passive aggressive.

But I'm surprise how rare they are in my work place, especially consultants. Most of them point prefer to point finger even when it's clearly their fault, probably because in professional setting "I take full responsibility" actually means something and you can be hold accountable for that, while in more personal/casual setting, it could just be an empty talk.

[Carol the Dabbler]

... remember when I moaned about a load of people flying over my garden when I was topless? Today I'm, uh, wearing even less and a police helicopter appears to be doing a grid pattern, since they're going slow I suspect they may have their cameras on. Ah well, whatever.

 

A British police officer has been sentenced to a prison term for filming naked people from a police helicopter.  So ya never know.

[Pseudonym]

Well well... I'm glad he's not from my area or I'd be concerned in case I was one of 'em. Bit disturbing. Though since our summer appears to be over after a grand total of a week I doubt I'll be out and about in the nud again anytime soon. 

[Arcadia]

I don't think I've ever been nud. What's that like? (Sorry, couldn't resist. :P)

[Pseudonym]

That wasn't actually a typo. I'm guessing you don't use the word nud?

[SherlockedCAMPer]

We usually have a silent E at the end of that word.

[Pseudonym]

Nud and nude are different. Same meaning, pronounced slightly differently. 

[Arcadia]

I should hope so. What with the missing "e", and all. :p

[Carol the Dabbler]

Around here we would say nude (formal term) or naked (informal) or nekkid (regional pronunciation often used humorously) or "in the all-together" or "in one's birthday suit." But no, I've never heard "nud" (which I assume rhymes with "bud"?). Hmm, we might also say "naked as a jay bird" or "without a stitch" or "naked as the day one was born."

 

What sayings are everyone else used to?

[Fantasy Lover]

We say Adams costume and poodle naked.

[Pseudonym]

Nud (yes rhyming with bud) would have the same jokey use as nekkid. Otherwise use pretty much use the same as you Carol, except naked as a jay bird. Never heard of yours though, Fantasy Lover!

[Carol the Dabbler]

I like "Adam's costume." Poodles must dress a lot like jay birds.

 

Do y'all have jay birds on your side of the Atlantic? I'm pretty sure you have at least a close relative to our blue jay.

[Pseudonym]

There is a bird called a jay, though we don't refer to it as a jay bird. It's like a colourful crow - same size. How big is a blue jay?