Shoot the Wall (A.K.A. The Rant Thread)

[Pseudonym]

Tips aren't that big a thing here, they're only getting one either way. And possibly not even that. I think we had the rant about tipping in here already, so I won't start on that again.

[Arcadia]

I think the servers around here must have figured out that they get bigger tips if they have separate bills, because they do it almost automatically anymore.

 

Nobody bothers to ask me for money; they know I don't have any. My friends and I occasionally cover each other's lunch bills or something like that when we run short, and we don't keep track ... we do each other so many favors, we couldn't keep track if we tried. A lot of my friends fall into the "pay it forward" camp, I think. I try to, but sometimes I get cranky and forget....

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

For dinner, we take turn to pay (informal turn) although we meet very rarely nowadays it's still quite a fair exchange, but yes of course, give and take, because we eat at different places with different costs. But with these people, I'm really okay because all of them are generous, so I don't mind paying for them if I'm able to, because they do the same for me. Sometimes we sneak on each other trying to pay (instead of trying to escape/cheat which of course wouldn't qualify as friend no more). I can be most generous to those who are generous but stingiest to those who are stingy. Tit for tat.

 

For longer period, like trip, we create a effective way, as collecting common fund. We each put in same amount of money and one person holds it. It is then used to pay for meals, transport, entry to places we visit, so it's fair and good, to be top-up when it runs out or returned when there are some left as the trip ends. For personal use like buying personal stuff we use our own. It's a good system.

[Carol the Dabbler]

My roommates and I used to use that system for groceries and other miscellaneous household expenses.

[T.o.b.y]

I don't mind lending small sums to people where it wouldn't make that much of a difference whether they pay back or not, like helping out a colleague who has forgotten their lunch money. Hate to borrow myself though.

 

When paying for food at a restaurant, I am fine with many arrangements but I like to know beforehand what we're going to do and not have an awkward conversation in front of the waiter. If nobody says anything before the meal, I always assume we're all paying separately. If I plan to treat someone, I say so before we sit down. As for who's turn it is, I don't go out often enough to keep track of that...

[Carol the Dabbler]

I think the worst restaurant scenario is when some people's meals are far more expensive than others', but when the check comes they want to split it evenly. They did an episode of Friends about that, where Joey and Phoebe had gotten just a salad or a small bowl of soup because they were on a really tight budget.

 

Same thing, really, as friends who keep wanting you to go with them to some expensive place (not offering to treat). It never seems to occur to any of these people that some people can't afford (or are not willing to spend) as much as they are.

 

But that's human nature, of course, to assume that other people do what they do because that's their favorite thing, rather than because of any other reason. Like the numskulls who assume that vegetarians eat nothing except salad, because that's all they ever see them eat -- not stopping to think, maybe everything else on the menu has some form of meat in it.

[Arcadia]

Yeah, I've encountered that a lot, people with disposable income not understanding how hard it is for someone like me to go to lunch with them every week. But they've gotten used to me turning them down, then joining occasionally when I feel like I can afford it. Not that I put it that way. They just understand there's "reasons" why I don't always join them.

 

Do you eat fish or seafood, Carol? Or are you strictly vegetarian? My sister eats the fishies, and introduced me to a few yummy dishes as a result. But I don't think anyone will ever convince me that tofu tastes good.

[Pseudonym]

'Eats the fishies' sounds horrifying. Those sweet, playful little fishies.  :o

[Shadow Dweller]

@Arcadia: Do you want to try cooking tofu dishes? I might have a few recipes laying around.

[T.o.b.y]

I think the worst restaurant scenario is when some people's meals are far more expensive than others', but when the check comes they want to split it evenly.

Carol, is that an American thing? Maybe I just don't go out enough but I have never heard anyone make this suggestion in Germany. When the bill comes, the waiter asks "together or separately" and then either one person pays for all or each pays what they had. In the first case, some groups pay the person who settled with the waiter back, but I have never seen them each give the same amount.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I don't much eat tofu either. I like the taste just fine, but it messes with my energy system, so I eat it only occasionally.

 

Nope, don't eat fish, poultry, or any other kind of meat. I do eat eggs and milk, cheese, and such, but I'm allergic to cows, so the dairy products have to come from goats, sheep, etc. On airplanes, I just order vegan -- it's easier.

[Arcadia]

'Eats the fishies' sounds horrifying. Those sweet, playful little fishies.  :o

 

It does, but dang, they can taste pretty good. :p

 

@Arcadia: Do you want to try cooking tofu dishes? I might have a few recipes laying around.

 

Er, no thanks. I've tried a number of variations, none of them appealed to me. But thanks for offering.

[Shadow Dweller]

Just in case someone else wants to try:

 

http://www.yummy.ph/lessons/cooking/the-tofu-dish-that-even-meat-eaters-will-love

 

Especially good if made with Japanese egg tofu:

 

http://mycookinggallery.blogspot.com/2013/10/easy-homemade-egg-tofu.html

[Van Buren Supernova]

 

 

 

Read: really don't like tofu

[Carol the Dabbler]

 

I think the worst restaurant scenario is when some people's meals are far more expensive than others', but when the check comes they want to split it evenly.

Carol, is that an American thing? Maybe I just don't go out enough but I have never heard anyone make this suggestion in Germany....

I think it's supposed to be easier, and it has a reputation of being a "guy thing." Apparently some guys think it's silly for a group of women to spend several minutes figuring out who owes what, when they could more quickly just divide by the number of people. The only time it makes sense to me is when we've all shared the same food (e.g., pizza, or an assortment of Chinese dishes).

 

But I have no idea if it's primarily an American thing.

[Van Buren Supernova]

..., but I'm allergic to cows, ..

Why... they are so adorable.

 

In my circle, the ones who order expensive stuff normally have conscience to pay more, but again that is dealing with friends I choose to hang out with, because there are certain people actually don't really bother to contribute or pay back at all, with magic trick of disappearing to the toilet or just never make a mention about it. That is also one of the reasons I don't like to eat out with people I don't really know, because yah, it happens. Someone always thought it's okay not to pay. Time stops when the bill comes because no one make a move.

 

Anyway, if my friends want to go to expensive places that I am not comfortable spending, I'd just be honest and ask them to fo somewhere more affordable.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I had a boyfriend who liked to take expensive weekend trips -- drive to another city, stay in a real hotel, eat in a ridiculously expensive restaurant -- with each of us paying our own share of everything.  I managed to do that a few times, but my income wasn't as good as his, so I finally begged off.  He started dating a different gal, who had a really good job with a sizeable income.

 

Some years later (after they got married) I heard him complain that she was always wanting to go places that he couldn't afford.  *snicker*    They're still married, though.

[Shadow Dweller]

 

 

 

Read: really don't like tofu

There are several kinds of tofu, which ones you don't like?

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tofu

[Pseudonym]

Yea, I don't think the splitting the bill equally is an American thing, I've known it happen here too and it always makes me fume. Same as getting in rounds at the pub, it means you've got to keep up with everyone else's drinking speed and it makes your eyes water when it's your turn. Plus if you're drinking something cheap and other people are drinking something expensive it gets very annoying. 

 

I've only tried tofu once and it was like a tasteless chunk of rubber. I don't know what type it was, and I'm mostly vegetarian so it would be useful to like it, but no. :(

[T.o.b.y]

Okay, I guess I am just too inexperienced when it comes to eating out...

 

Tofu... The only really good tofu I ever had was at a Chinese restaurant. Whenever I buy some myself, it comes out dry and tastes way too much like soy. So usually, I don't bother. I can get my protein from other sources, especially since I am not a strict vegetarian and I do still eat some dairy products and occasionally an egg.

 

If I just need to replace meat in a recipe, eggplant or mushrooms usually give me a more satisfying result than tofu.

[Arcadia]

Mushrooms, yeah......

[Carol the Dabbler]

I'm wanting to get into tempeh, hoping it won't give me the same lethargic feeling as tofu. Found an interesting website that tells how to cook with tempeh, now just need the time.

 

As for tofu, you really can't substitute it for meat in the sense of having a tofu roast or something. Try it in Chinese or Japanese restaurants to get some ideas.

[Shadow Dweller]

Ever try this one?

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douhua

 

It is good served warm or cold.

[Shadow Dweller]

http://www.thekitchn.com/15-tasty-takes-on-tofu-227182?

[Carol the Dabbler]

http://www.thekitchn.com/15-tasty-takes-on-tofu-227182?

 

Thanks -- those look like some really good tofu recipes.  I make something similar to #8 (but simpler and with a different flavor) that I call Deviled Tofu Salad.  I'm not at home right now, but will try to remember to post it later this week.

 

I can't seem to find the article I mentioned with the tempeh recipes.  Hopefully I have that page bookmarked on my home computer, and can post the link later as well.