Speedy's Cafe - General Chat about anything you like!

[besleybean]

Only in England.

In Scotland, we were free to protest...

and people still wonder why some here want independence!

[Carol the Dabbler]

14 hours ago, Fantasy Lover said:

Did anyone watched the coronation? I did.

I didn't -- was thinking it was tomorrow, but not sure I'd have watched anyhow.  (I do recall seeing photos of Elizabeth's coronation, though.)  What did you think of it?

11 hours ago, besleybean said:

No, I attended a Republican rally against the monarchy.

That's not U.S Republican!

11 hours ago, Fantasy Lover said:

It's a pity they arrested the leader of the republicans, I thought the uk was a democracy, apparently not.

Sounds odd to me as well, but this is the first I've heard of it.  On what grounds was the leader arrested?

[Fantasy Lover]

25 minutes ago, Carol the Dabbler said:

I didn't -- was thinking it was tomorrow, but not sure I'd have watched anyhow.  (I do recall seeing photos of Elizabeth's coronation, though.)  What did you think of it?

Sounds odd to me as well, but this is the first I've heard of it.  On what grounds was the leader arrested?

Like besleybean, I'm a republican. A monarchy is outdated, archaic and a waste of taxpayers money that could have gone to the NHS and the poor. I only watched it because of the bragging rights to the generation that is born now.

Also, it's unclear on what grounds the leader is arrested. But I've heard (idk if it's right) that England has passed harsher anti protest laws, my respect for England has gone ever since they want to change the Equality Act to excludes transgender and non binary people, and because of the harsher anti protest laws it's even lower.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I've done a bit of reading on the arrests, and it turns out that they started shortly after Elizabeth's death, when people started speaking out against Charles becoming king.  As far as I can tell, the demonstrators have been doing things like holding up signs, calling out slogans, and sometimes booing -- none of which is violent.  Admittedly the booing is impolite, but I'd hate to live in a world where rudeness is a crime.

If my understanding of the matter is at all accurate, I am shocked and concerned.  If the government / police were concerned that demonstrations during the coronation would give the world a bad impression of the UK, I wonder if the arrests may cause them to look even worse.

 

[Carol the Dabbler]

It's been a quiet couple of months here in the Speedy's thread!

I have apparently discovered, quite by accident, why I had been having so much trouble sleeping the past few years -- namely my computer.

The problem seems to have started while I was taking care of Mom in her last few years.  At first I chalked it up to the stress of being responsible for her safety round the clock, but she passed on several years ago and I was still having major problems falling asleep and/or staying that way.  I had even put all my devices (computer, phone, and tablet) on the "bedtime" setting (pinkish display tone) more or less 24/7, mostly to protect my eyes against the reported dangers of blue light, but also with hopes of sleeping better.  Occasionally I would have a really good night's sleep, but mostly not.

Meanwhile, my computer (a laptop which I currently use as a desktop) had begun having problems.  I got the memory expanded and the hard drive replaced with something larger, and it's better, but was still crashing at random intervals.  I finally decided maybe I shouldn't be leaving it turned on all the time, so I started turning it off around supper time and leaving it off till morning.

That was several days ago, close to a week, and I've been sleeping every night!  I can't think of anything else that's changed.  I've been going to bed at around the same time as before.  I still use my phone and my tablet quite a bit after supper, looking things up and/or playing games.

It occurs to me that -- near as I recall -- I bought that particular computer right about the time I started taking care of Mom.  So maybe it's something about that particular model or even that individual machine.  Or maybe I've developed a problem with computers (but not tablets or phones) in general.  Right now I don't care.  I'm just enjoying the sleep!

The computer still crashes now and then, by the way.

 

[besleybean]

I have always had trouble sleeping, since I was a kid.

I follow all of the advice of having no electronic equipment in my bedroom...

I don't even read before bed.

I try to convince my body that the bedroom is for one thing alone: sleep...

but it raely listens!

[Carol the Dabbler]

I know the feeling!  Unfortunately there are probably at least a million reasons why a person might have trouble sleeping, so you have my full sympathy.

I'm now thinking that the reason using the computer keeps me awake (whereas using my phone or tablet does not) is simply that on my computer I'm far more likely to do things that require concentration -- writing replies, doing searches that require deductive input, etc.

 

[Fantasy Lover]

Does anyone know a person who has like a PHD or something and yet does something that makes you go: how are you so effing stupid? Case in point my mother: she became a real penny pincher ever since corona, and she wanted to renovate her bathroom. So she posted an add on Facebook for someone to renovate her bathroom and pay them under the table (which is dumb), someone came to see the work that needed to be done and confessed that he was still waiting for people to pay their bills. If I heard that, alarms would go off because no one would be stupid enough to pay for a renovation if they didn't borrowed enough money. But mom hired him (which is dumber), and of course my suspicions were correct, he barely did any work and the delivery date kept being postponed and unfortunately my mother kept waiting and waiting instead of kicking him out. Finally, she did so and then..... she asked asked AGAIN on Facebook if someone could redo the work that wanker did 🤡👹💀👿😡🤬😠. Thankfully, the replacement was decent. Keep in mind that my mother studied law. 

 

[Carol the Dabbler]

Good fix-it people are getting harder and harder to find, and if you can find a really good one, they're usually so busy that it's hard to get on their schedules.  It's especially hard to find a plumber or electrician who will do fix-it jobs, because most of them want do the installation work on a whole new house.

When I was looking for a plumber, a friend of mine (who is in the well-drilling business, so he knows a lot of plumbers) told me that a well-drilling friend of his has a brother who's a plumber.  So I gave the guy a try.  It took half a dozen appointments before he actually showed up and did the work, but he did a nice job and didn't charge a lot.

I'm glad your mom finally found a pretty good one!

 

[Fantasy Lover]

Has anyone ever felt happy for something, but at the same time felt sad? I've felt that way ever since Hanne and her boyfriend got engaged, I'm happy for them but at the same time I'm reminded that I could have been married for 2,5 years. And I know it's probably for the best that we didn't get married as she only loved me because she needed someone who did everything in the household and paid for everything. But the thing is, I have lousy love life. I've tried speeddating, dating sites, a blind date, dating my best friend. None of this worked out, and then I met my ex. And I was so relieved, at last I've found someone. I was loved for who I am, I wasn't rejected because of my straightforwardness, I was beloved. To find out that she only loved me because I had a lot of money on my bank account and I was willing to do everything for her. She took advantage of me, and that devastated me.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Life can definitely be a bitch!  But at least you now have some knowledge of what to be wary of, and you have a better idea of what you'd truly appreciate in a partner.

 

[Fantasy Lover]

Well my mom and I have a row with my mom's niece. How that happened? Well, my niece is racist. Having some people close to her converting to the Islam,  participating in the ramadan, choosing more modest clothes because those people met and fell in love with a Muslim made her bitter and racist. Instead of going like awww, the things people do for love. She was like Muslims are forcing their faith down or throat, as if the Christians didn't do the same thing for centuries. Guess she just doesn't understand love.

So she was saying stuff like: "the culture of Muslims is R word, in front of my mother, who is remarried to a Muslim. Talk about being able to read the room, if my stephdad was there he would have left her alone in the restaurant with her steak, but my mother isn't like that. My niece eventually apologised to my mom and told her it wasn't meant to be personal and that my stephdad was welcome the next my mom would visit her, yeah.... not going to happen.

I sent an angry text to her saying that the next time spouts racist bs me and my mom would leave, I told her she can shove her steak and called her a sour puss. I won't let anyone hurt my mother or insult my stephdad's religion. R word scoff, those people are moving haven and earth to help their fellow brethren in Marokko and Libië after disaster befell both countries, how are they R word? I will never understand racists.

[Carol the Dabbler]

21 hours ago, Fantasy Lover said:

I will never understand racists.

I find their point of view simplistic and counterproductive myself, but I kinda try to understand why they might be that way.

Many people have great difficulty understanding why anyone would disagree with them, because their point of view seems so obviously correct to them.  I suspect that's because they've always looked at things from a certain angle, so it doesn't occur to them that the other person might be a very nice person who simply looks at things from a different angle -- or that someone might agree with them on most things, even though they look different, etc.

Besides, it's probably human nature to distrust anyone who's not a member of your in-group.  (That distrust would have had real survival value back when members of the neighboring tribe might be out to kill you.)  Our parents may have encouraged us to ignore that feeling, or may have encouraged us to pay special attention to it.  Some people can later overcome the training they had as a child, but it's neither automatic nor easy.

If your mother's niece has seemed like a reasonable person in the past, you might try giving her another chance.  Try to understand her point of view (which doesn't mean you have to agree), and explain your point of view to her.

 

[Fantasy Lover]

We'll see if she understands our point of view, because so far discussions with her about the Muslim community didn't change her mind.

 

Anyway, I'm going to talk about a subject that might be controversial but I need it of my chest. If you asked me 5 years ago if drugs needed to be legal I'd say yes, but I now know two people who are addicted, my ex gf and my boyfriend's brother. It's not a pleasant experience, because I was the breadwinner when I was cohabiting with my ex girlfriend. The lying, the threatening, the denying, the insults, the yelling, the crocodile tears, the begging, being made into the villain because I caught her using etc.... I feel sorry for my boyfriend because he caught his brother using and his brother isn't on speaking terms with him anymore. I you would ask me now, I'd say only legalise medical cannabis.

 

[Carol the Dabbler]

11 hours ago, Fantasy Lover said:

We'll see if she understands our point of view, because so far discussions with her about the Muslim community didn't change her mind.

Convincing her to change her mind may be a tall order.  You might first see if you can explain your point of view to her in a calm, non-judgmental way, so that she sort of sees your point, even if she doesn't actually agree.  That should at least take the edge off of her antagonism, even if she remains basically prejudiced.

11 hours ago, Fantasy Lover said:

If you asked me 5 years ago if drugs needed to be legal I'd say yes, but I now know two people who are addicted, my ex gf and my boyfriend's brother. It's not a pleasure experience....

People can just as easily mess themselves up on drugs that are currently legal.  We just lost one family member to nicotine addiction (she died of lung cancer) and a year ago we had lost another to alcohol addiction (after being a pathetic drunk for years, she died of liver failure).

If I were in charge (which thankfully I'm not), I'd start by requiring the federal government to recognize medical cannabis in the states that have legalized it.  The feds are giving the idea some thought now, but will still arrest people even in those states.  After that, I'm not sure.  I used to know a woman who was so routinely high on pot that I thought she was just naturally kinda spacey -- till I ran into her after not seeing her for a few years (during which time she had apparently kicked the habit), and she was like a real person.  So I'm well aware that constant marijuana use can cause problems.

But, assuming that there is such a thing as an addictive personality, so that the person is likely to end up being addicted to one thing or another, I think I'd rather see them addicted to pot than to alcohol or nicotine, especially if they ingested the pot rather than smoking it.  As far as I know, magic brownies don't cause cancer or organ failure, and of course there's no second-hand smoke.

So I'm thinking that -- once people had a chance to see that Grandma could use pot for her glaucoma without turning into a raving lunatic -- I would probably require the federal government to recognize recreational cannabis in the states that have legalized it.  But I reserve the right to change my mind.

What drugs are your two people addicted to?

 

[Fantasy Lover]

My boyfriend's brother is addicted to coke, my ex is addicted to a variation of drugs, but specifically coke.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Wow, that's scary -- and must be expensive too.

[Fantasy Lover]

Yeah, my ex girlfriend lied to me in the beginning when we were cohabiting. She asked to borrow money from me to pay for amazon stuff (so she claimed) because she earned less and I was the breadwinner, which I gave her. But she kept asking and asking for money, one time I refused, and she was like "don't you love me anymore? You're just being greedy and selfish." So I kept borrowing her money, until she asked me to borrow money twice in one day, I was like "are you mental?" Shortly after that she went on a trip to Poland and then she dumped me and found a new apartment while on her trip, and then I had to pack her stuff because she was in Poland, which I did being the goody two shoes I am. I'm glad I'm rid off her. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

Yup, you're better off without her.

 

[J.P.]

A random thought about storytelling that came to me while vacuuming:

Already in my twenties, I concluded that the main difference between fiction and reality is that a story has to make sense and have a point.
And today my brain added: Maybe that's why we are so obsessed with stories: They are an attempt to make us believe, that there is some sense and meaning to our lives.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I agree:  Reading (or writing) a story can offer temporary relief from real-world worries.

Assuming, of course, that the story isn't too much like our real life!     Thus, I suppose, the appeal of stories set in other places (e.g., Middle Earth) or other times (e.g., Victorian London).

 

[Caya]

Kinda like the old joke about RPGs, whether computer or pen&paper, that let you live out your wildest, most unrealistic fantasies, like having money and time to travel extensively, making new friends as an adult or getting eight hours of solid sleep almost every night.  

[Carol the Dabbler]

On 11/6/2023 at 4:27 AM, Caya said:

... your wildest, most unrealistic fantasies, like having money and time to travel extensively, making new friends as an adult or getting eight hours of solid sleep almost every night.

You mean I'm not the only one?  

 

[Carol the Dabbler]

According to the annoying pop-up that occurs when I accidentally mouse over the lower-left corner of the screen, this is Pizza Day, which somehow made me remember that (according to the inimitable Dave Barry) in Japan they put corn (as we call it, elsewhere it's maize, Indian corn, etc.) on pizza.  Somebody here in the US may have done that, at some time, but if so I've never seen or even heard of it.

I do recall noticing, however, that many of the deli offerings (various cooked salads) at Speedy's contained corn.  That would merely be rare here (I can easily imagine that there might be corn in some Mexican-themed salads, for example).  But it makes me wonder -- is corn a normal pizza option in the UK?

 

[Caya]

Dunno about the UK but it’s an option here - not the most common one but not as wild as pineapple either.