Shoot the Wall (A.K.A. The Rant Thread)

[Carol the Dabbler]

From all the death messages this year this one actually made me cry.

http://variety.com/2016/film/news/anton-yelchin-dead-star-trek-alpha-dog-1201798798/

 

I was puzzled at first by the statement that foul play is not suspected in such a weird event.  But -- as I suppose is all over the news today -- that model of car had just been recalled for a gear-shift problem that could allow that very sort of thing to happen.  I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse, but at least it makes sense now.

[J.P.]

It's such a stupid accident.
I think the worse aspect of all this is the age. And that he looked even younger.

[Arcadia]

Yes to all that.

[J.P.]

Another one to join the Forever 27 Club. :(

[SherlockedCAMPer]

When you have to uninstall & re-install your printer driver on your computer just so your computer registers that you inserted a new yellow ink cartridge into your printer to enable color printing again.  :comp:  :comp2:  Really re-starting the computer should have been more than enough for that task.  t least the emoticons make me laugh.

[Van Buren Supernova]

Emoticons to fight evil computer??

 

Let me help. I want to help.

But warning, the emoticons are not always on our side.

 

 

 

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

If I had unlimited wealth, and didn't give a crap with my carbon footprint, I would throw every single device that refuses to perform the way they should to the wall, those obnoxious little machines; phone, tablet. Then I would wear safety shoes and walk over their corpses. Gahhh gahhhhh....

[Arcadia]

[Arcadia]

[SherlockedCAMPer]

Johnspec loves that second gif. I showed him the non-gif comic of that some months ago and he repeats it periodically.

[Van Buren Supernova]

I love both of them. Now I keep looking at them...again.. again... again...

Wait.. this is not a thread to feel happy right?

But those gif.... awwwwwwwwwww

 

[Shadow Dweller]

The plight of an eldest daughter with an exceedingly emotionally volatile and self-entitled spoiled rotten younger sister. Think I'll trade with Mycroft, I am confident that I can get along just fine with Sherlock, at least he is mostly rational. My sister is ISTJ by the way, have more academic titles than I but insanely jealous of my job. She is stuck with an office job that she didn't like (since it means she will have to cater to other people's whims instead of the opposite) while I am a free bird running several gigs at once. Jealous but refused to learn what is necessary, and way too limited in her thinking to apply same principles to slightly different situations. Thinking that she is in an ongoing competition with me even when it comes to my fields of expertise. Well guess what, I am a natural in these fields and keep progressing further while you only can do it as far as the textbooks said.

[Shadow Dweller]

What triggered this is the recent family gathering. She was searching for her bottle of water (that later turned up in her own room) and pushed roughly, almost upsetting two trays of delicacies that I've been slaving at for hours earlier. Trays, loaded with small pastries with 5 cm high or less while that bottle of water is about 25 cm in height. If she succeed on ruining my work, I definitely will arrange for her to get a very embarrassing accident (or several) in front of the guests, she won't have face anymore to show up before this crowd.

 

Later someone told me that she had recently bought a nice blouse that exactly like I've bought several months earlier. I was wearing that blouse for that gathering and speaking matter of fact, I looks good in it. Combined with my better social skill to deal with a gathering like this (really, what else you can expect beside being an outcast if you keeps frowning with disapproval and resentment every single second), she won't be able to compete at all.

 

How I know that she feels like she have to compete with me? Several times already our extended family consulted both of us for some issues. Those who followed my suggestions were getting better result than those who followed hers and it shows at these gatherings. She tried to justify her choices in front of the crowd but when it is clear that mine have no hole she can attack, she retreated. Then later that day came the trays of delicacies incident. She knows that both were mine and that incident is her way trying to attack me (it is not the first time she tried to do so following her failure to appear better than me. Moron, why not capitalizing your own strength instead of trying to best me in what you clearly is not competent enough to do so).

 

Mrs. Hudson is right, family is all what we have in the end. But this family member I can do without, so any of you needs more misery in life, take her, free of charge.

[Arcadia]

Oh, Shadow. We baby sisters just want respect, we don't mean to be so pathetic! But how can we help it, since our big sisters set the standards for perfection before we get a chance to do so? :d

[Shadow Dweller]

Is there such thing as perfection? Each of us have our own strengths and so is my sister, hers happen to be the area I am not foolish enough to think that I would ever excel in. It is her attempts to destroy what is mine that she cannot have that ultimately drove us apart years ago. I am patient enough to not strike back all these times but it will come the day when I decide that enough is enough. She no longer can claim of being under 25 years old (the age some said when human brain finally develop fully in major ways) to excuse her malicious immaturity. I am a very relaxed sibling who let her live how she wants but make an enemy of me then she will experience first hand how my personal brand of retaliation is.

[Van Buren Supernova]

I am the believer of being nice to nice people, but kick twice as hard when I am being kicked. However, I draw my line with close family member (which I suppose she is?) of course unless it's not immediate family who tries to hurt my family, I will not let them off.

 

Since I suppose she is your direct sister (not cousin) is there a way to talk this out? I don't have sisters, and fully aware that the dynamic is different with having brothers so just ignore me if I totally get it wrong.

 

If a younger sister behaves that way, I guess it's because she actually admires you and looking up at you, although she probably chooses the wrong reactions.

 

I think she is very unhappy with herself and always feels that she is a failure, compared to you. And it doesn't help that she feels it at home, in environment where she probably wants it to be okay that she is vulnerable. Instead, she feels insecure with people's judgment and comparison that she resorts to sabotage, which is even more self-destruct.

 

Yes, I am all for adult should be able to think for themselves, I even get annoyed sometimes with children who couldn't make the best judgment as it's my continuous expectation that people should behave logically, but in this case, is there any possibilities that all these years you grow up together, the pressures and competitions are always there, and she almost always lose, as you said, she focuses on your area instead of her strength? Maybe she doesn't aware of this and has too much desire to compete with you because she doesn't see a way around it as it has become a 'normal' thing in her life.

 

While I suppose, even when you don't aim or purposely go for that, there should be some satisfaction and pride to be the better one in front of your family, and it's proven times and again. On the other side, she must feels like crap so she goes for desperate measure, if I couldn't beat her, I'd sabotage her.

I think she might be blinded of her potential and needs some more guidance to focus on what she is good at, something she wouldn't realize as long as she still feel the need to be competitive.

 

I am sure she admires you, maybe instead of having the competitive elements all the time, show her that those are not important, and she should see another way? Maybe if both of you do the baking together, it would be a shared accomplishments. Sense of belonging, suddenly you are a team and whoever praise that tray, she feels it as well. Show her that you can be an ally instead of enemy? I think that is very important to earn the trust that you are not always the pain in her life (she might think of you that way if you always outshine her. Sometimes when we are on the top, we forget that it sucks being in the bottom, sometimes we think people should be able to think it through and stop being illogical, and forget that many people are ruled by their hearts and not their mind). That way, showing her that you are ally and not a threat, she would listen to you for whatever advice you might have that can improve her in the future.

[Arcadia]

Being the baby sister of both a sister and two brothers, I think there's a lot of truth in that, VBS. Fortunately for me, my siblings and I have don't have trouble getting along, but even so I see a little of that in our relationships. There's been times when I thought I'd never be able to live up to them. They've finally had to acknowledge that I'm actually the superior one, though. :D 

[Shadow Dweller]

@VBS: Been there, done that, abandoned that course when she threatened to bash my head to the wall even if it would kill me. That greedy brat is not my sister, she is a hellspawn who happen to be born in the same nuclear family with me.

Imagine this; she was the apple of our parents' eyes, unlike me the rebel who cannot be forced to conform to what they think a woman should be. Better grades than mine, loves to tout her supposed academic superiority, addicted on telling everyone how they should behave and often throw tantrums if things didn't go her way. OCD personified and a control-freak to the last. Yet despite all of that, guess who gets headhunted for supervisory and management positions while she have to apply for entry level positions. Of course I started in the workforce earlier and it is just make sense that I would already have some reputation compared to a greenhorn who just graduated from university. That was several years ago. Still to this day she resent my relative freedom (heard once she whined to our parents about why I was allowed to go my own way instead of being a cog in company's machine like her). Brat doesn't have the guts to strike on her own (she likes steady monthly paycheck to fuel her shopping sprees) yet wanting the relative ability to travel to places. Probably thinking that I am playing tourist on those journeys. -.- There's no way I'll let her to join and ruin my efforts. Either she grow up by her own (learning from life's experiences) or whatever happened I would not lift a finger to help.

 

Funnily enough, she actually can relate to most people better than I (empathy?) while I tends to be on the business-professional level only (at least on my part). She is on the same wavelength with them while I understand people but their concerns on personal level does not touch me like it to her. Human beings tends to relate only to the things they feel connection to, is that means that I only care for select few? Based from observation, she needs people around while I am content with solitary pursuits most of the time.

 

By the way, I am back. :lol: There was a problem with my carrier for the last few days.

[Van Buren Supernova]

Oh.. sounds bad. I've never been headhunted before but I don't mind going for head hunting... wait, you are talking about different thing.. :p

 

Anyway, maybe the cure is.. distance.

 

I am lucky to have good relationships with my siblings, eventhough we never show our affection openly (god no!) we have very strong bond and supportive of each other in our own ways.

 

Because of that, I could never imagine turning off (I don't know the right term, swearing off?) any of my brothers or giving up on them, or giving them away for free :p, but again, your case is different and it seems that she has really pushed you off the edge. I hope bashing head is not literally though and it must be difficult for you (because if it's me, threatening to bash my head will be challenged regardless my probability of winning). Having said that, if there is a slight, slight, small tiny bit percentage of avoiding both of you doing something you will most likely regret in the future, I recommend distance.

 

Meet her only when you really need to. Interact only when you need to. It should be difficult because you are family, but it's possible. At least I think it's better than being unhappy on the gatherings that creates negativity and ruin your day, and maybe everyone's else day.

 

Again, I merely give suggestion that I know, having been living away since forever to various different places, although not with direct siblings and parents or significant other, I am sure I save a lot of other relationships that way, with distance, purposely or not. Of course, sometimes I stop short and ponder whether it's my own need to always be independent and far away that I also sacrifice times with people I want to be close with. But the blessing is that, distance does save relationships with people you can't really stand but actually wish for their well beings.

 

Again, not necessary applicable for you so it's up to you. I just hope that there is another way than your current situation. Having said that, maybe if I was in your shoes, I would have done something crazy. XD My mom who is also the only girl, always say, we only have brothers because we are both too irritable and stubborn to have sisters, we even shudder with the idea of having sister because we recognize the challenge, like the one you have.

*Look around, eh.. so my advice is just wasting our time because I'm totally not qualified. To sum it up, my whole post is:"your problem, not mine? :D

No no NO! I am quite really wish to help, if you believe it. :p

 

Being the baby sister of both a sister and two brothers,....

!!!!

So you are one of those creations that ruins our childhood, takes our hard-earned candies, and makes us being punished because you are always right or for merely ignoring you????

You?? You?? YOU!! :p

(Where is the bride when we need her)

[Shadow Dweller]

*snickers* I want to post a pic of smoked and shrunken head that Sherlock surely could appreciate but some people here might object to that particular form of humour. ;)

 

Yups, since we lead separate lives my frequency of headaches become less than before. If not because of our parents that time, an exchange of blows were guaranteed and I most likely won't merely do hair-pulling, scratching and shrieking like banshee. I don't go into towering rage like her, mine is more like icy fury that means I still can think about how to utterly destroy something/someone in the most effective manners only with the usual 'doubts / check & recheck process whether I really want to do this' removed. All bets are off, there's nothing that could hold 'the end justify the means' tendency in check.

 

The bride is busy teaching Jim to mimic her voice enough to fool Sherlock, that's why she had failed to answer your summon.

[Arcadia]

 

Being the baby sister of both a sister and two brothers,....

!!!!

So you are one of those creations that ruins our childhood, takes our hard-earned candies, and makes us being punished because you are always right or for merely ignoring you????

You?? You?? YOU!! :P

(Where is the bride when we need her)

 

 

Yes, I am, and if you're mean to me I will tattle, so there!! :p My siblings inform me that I got away with murder, although I assure you I was a perfect angel and never did any such thing and they are all big fat jealous fibbers. Plus they laughed at me when I fell down and went boom, so they deserved to be punished. Nyah!

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

Actually I have my share of troubling my elder brother too. But don't pity him, he used to annoy me and troubled me all the same.

 

Fell down? Wasn't laughter the cure? XD

We used to keep each other's secret when we were injured because instead of pitying us, my mom would pour the bloody painful disinfectant or scrubbed the wound before that. Yikes. Except my youngest brother, so when he cried (and he was a cryer) the rest of us would disappeared from view so fast, otherwise we would get blamed, eventhough he fell flat on his own.

 

My other brothers would run out of the house and I would climb upstair through pipe (much faster than stair inside the house and too risky of running to my parents), they didn't know my secret path so I was never caught.

 

We still blame that youngest brother and laugh at him now.

[SherlockedCAMPer]

I am the youngest with an older sister and brother.  My sister & I get along for the most part, but our personalities clash.  We currently share a place and discussed the other day that in certain aspects we would be better apart.  Others, we're better together.  She got blamed for just about everything and I just about could have gotten away with murder.

[Shadow Dweller]

Is there any firstborn here besides me?

 

I still think that parents often drive their offsprings apart by treating them not with equality. That make the eldest becomes an independent adult while the youngest needs harsh slaps by the real world to shape them up to become a functional adult. Seen that too often and baffled why people keep repeating the same pattern. Don't they ever think about the faraway implications of their 'the scapegoat and the golden child' approach or is it yet another example of the folly of letting your heart on the driving seat?

 

Edit: scratch that, found this article as one of the probable parts of the problem:

 

 

https://www.quora.com/What-becomes-of-the-golden-child-of-a-narcissistic-parent

[Carol the Dabbler]

I'm also the eldest (in case no one had guessed).

 

I think the basic reason for the discrepancy is this: When the first kid is born, the new parents are nervous that they might make some mistakes, so they're kinda uptight and therefore strict. But also, they're full of enthusiasm, so the firstborn gets loads of attention. So that kid turns out to be kinda picky yet confident.

 

By the time the last kid is born, the parents are less uptight, so the kid "gets away with murder.". But at the same time, the parents are kinda burnt out, so the kid gets less attention and may " act up" in order to get some.