Speedy's Cafe - General Chat about anything you like!

[T.o.b.y]

I'll say! An older man following a teenage girl around? Ugh! Well, I'm glad you got rid of him, Jess...

[Bakerstreet Irregular]

I was stalked once hope it never happens again. What I hate that he got my address by running my license plate through DMV no questions asked. That has got to stop. 

 

 Hey Arcadia. Where do you Summer in Maine?  My home state maybe we can plan a meet up sometime?

[by the sea]

Tidbit of the day for people who don't live in this country: That's known as gerrymandering.

 

 

 

Yikes ... that sounds pretty fishy to me.  Although in our latest provincial election, my colleague, who lives on the eastern side of this city, was wondering why all the election signs in her area were touting the virtues of candidates in Hampton, which is a small semi-agricultural community at least 45 km away from where she lives and in another direction.  As it turns out, the districts (Eastern Saint John and Hampton) were combined for some reason ... nobody knows why except perhaps to make up the number of voters required to make up a voting area.  It's unlikely that it was done to give a particular party an advantage but any representative elected in this district would be forced to have a split personality as the two places have very different socio-economic requirements.

 

Debbie

[Carol the Dabbler]

I was stalked once hope it never happens again. What I hate that he got my address by running my license plate through DMV no questions asked. That has got to stop.

Good heavens -- I thought that was all sorts of illegal! (Admittedly Jim Rockford gets names and addresses all the time, but then he has Lt. Becker to do the actual dirty work for him.)  How long ago was that, Fox?

 

... my colleague, who lives on the eastern side of this city, was wondering why all the election signs in her area were touting the virtues of candidates in Hampton, which is a small semi-agricultural community at least 45 km away from where she lives and in another direction.  As it turns out, the districts (Eastern Saint John and Hampton) were combined for some reason ... nobody knows why except perhaps to make up the number of voters required to make up a voting area.

I'm sure there was a perfectly legitimate official reason -- but I'm not so sure that was the only reason, if you get my drift.

[Bakerstreet Irregular]

It happened in either 2002 or 2003. He had an office in the nearest shopping mecca. If he saw me on the street and going into a store, he would follow me then ask where I was parked. 

 

I would avoid that question like crazy. 

[SherlockedCAMPer]

That's when you say you took public transit (if available) and then take it and try to get away from him that route if necessary.

[jesskayding]

Well, all I know, was I had nightmares about my stalker, up to like 5 years later. Even when I made a ddecision to move back to Dayton Ohio, that was something I truly considered. I convinced myself that I wouldn't even be a concern of his by that point & Fortunately I was right.

[jesskayding]

I have a friend who has a stalker & he's married with kids apparently. I don't envy you at all Jess.

 

That reminds me of another crazy situation. I was part of this prayer group years ago in Pittsburgh, we take zip line/train trolley up mount Washington, & we overlook the city to pray. We turn around & this strange looking, quite tall man is standing there, pants all the way down, his penis in hand jerking off, we scream! I take off running, I'm screaming "Help, help us!", meanwhile all my other friends managed to keep their wits about them and call 911. Later in court we find out this man is married, his wife is there and pregnant. He also had other victims... It was a mess!

 

After all that... ( The court counted friends as only 1 person, per we could be bias????) He got 1 year probation & had to do so many years of counseling.

[Carol the Dabbler]

It happened in either 2002 or 2003. He had an office in the nearest shopping mecca. If he saw me on the street and going into a store, he would follow me then ask where I was parked. 

 

I would avoid that question like crazy.

 

Where is the *shudder* button?    So did he finally just give up, or did you have to get a restraining order?

 

After all that... ( The court counted friends as only 1 person, per we could be bias????) He got 1 year probation & had to do so many years of counseling.

I can understand why the law wouldn't necessarily take your word against his -- they don't know you from Adam (well, Eve), and I'd sure hate to be locked away because someone misinterpreted my actions (or even lied). At least the probation meant they were keeping an eye on him, and even after that year, he was on record -- so if anyone else made similar complaints, they'd have to be taken more seriously.  Your complaint may have contributed to some major results in the long run.

 

But it's my impression that counseling does no good unless it's the person's own decision to be counseled. A change of heart can't be forced. In one city where I used to live, I heard nothing but praise for Alcoholics Anonymous. Then I moved to another city, and heard AA members ridiculing the group. Finally discovered that in the latter city, there was a judge who would sentence drunk drivers to attend AA. And judging by my experience as a school teacher, it takes only one trouble maker to ruin things for everyone.

 

[Bakerstreet Irregular]

My stalker finally gave up, I can't remember why now. I was doing a lot of pet setting at the time so maybe he wasn't finding me home and didn't know how to track me down....thank God. 

 

I have taken counseled and believe me, it isn't very effective if they don't know how to ask the right questions or they try methods that just do not work. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

True -- counseling may not help much even if you're a willing participant.  I can't imagine that it be any help whatsoever to someone who is not there by choice, and therefore sees it as merely something to get through as soon as possible.  I've seen people lie under such circumstances, just to keep things moving quickly.

 

[jesskayding]

True -- counseling may not help much even if you're a willing participant. I can't imagine that it be any help whatsoever to someone who is not there by choice, and therefore sees it as merely something to get through as soon as possible. I've seen people lie under such circumstances, just to keep things moving quickly.

 

I think, and I may be wrong, that Fox was trying to say she had counseling that didn't work. I know how that is, sometimes it takes walking a mile in someone's shoe's... Or some things just take time. Stalking takes a lot of time to overcome the fear.

[Carol the Dabbler]

True -- counseling may not help much even if you're a willing participant. I can't imagine that it be any help whatsoever to someone who is not there by choice, and therefore sees it as merely something to get through as soon as possible. I've seen people lie under such circumstances, just to keep things moving quickly.

I think, and I may be wrong, that Fox was trying to say she had counseling that didn't work. I know how that is, sometimes it takes walking a mile in someone's shoe's... Or some things just take time. Stalking takes a lot of time to overcome the fear.

 

Right, that's what I thought she meant as well, so it's an iffy proposition at best.  In which case it would almost certainly be a waste of time for someone (like your exhibitionist) who didn't even want to be there in the first place, and so was not cooperating.

 

[T.o.b.y]

I don't get exhibitionists. Why are there people who get off on making an utter fool of themselves? (As a matter of fact, why are there couples who think it's hot to make out at the local swimming pool in front of half their town? And when I say "make out", here, I mean something a lot more intimate than just kissing... I don't understand it all. I'm really not a prude, but does privacy mean nothing to these people? I mean, it's not like I find it shocking or even terribly interesting to see them at it, whatever they're doing, but why they find pleasure in having an audience is beyond me.)

[SherlockedCAMPer]

Agreed Toby. Sometimes I wonder what happened to them when they were younger that manifests itself in such a way.

[Convict13]

There is a chance that I shall be visiting London on 2016, North Gower Street here I come (maybe).  My in-laws are buying all the family tickets to either the UK or somewhere else, we voted UK so just waiting on brother -in - law now to make his choice.  My partner and his family are from the UK and I spent about 1 year there about 20 years  ago and then went back for a 5 week holiday about 15 years ago, so it would be lovely to get the opportunity to visit again.  I've been to London quite a few times, but you never get to see everything no matter how many time you go.  I've never been to the Sherlock Museum and we even stayed in a b&b in Baker Street when we were last in London.  

[Carol the Dabbler]

My recommendations for your can't-miss sights are North Gower Street (with lunch at Speedy's!) and Bart's Hospital.  Both are so familiar from the show that you may feel like you've just stepped into an episode.

 

Any idea what time of year this might be?  Alex and I are tentatively planning a trip to London in either late 2015 or early 2016, assuming that's when they film the next series.  In general, though, I'd recommend a warmer month. 

 

[Convict13]

No idea at this stage, perhaps August, which is still their summer, it won't be in winter because his parents only go there in summer

[Carol the Dabbler]

August is probably the best weather, but do be aware that it's also when the kids are out of school, so a lot of families are taking their vacations then, and touristy places can be a bit of a zoo -- or so we hear.  (We've never been there in August because Alex's uncle warned us against it for the above reason.)

 

[T.o.b.y]

*Sigh*... it will be ages until I get to see London (or any part of the British Isles), if ever. But no matter, I am happily on a short holiday close to home, and I really can't complain. At least it's cheap, and that means I'm left with plenty of cash for buying fancy chocolates and eating them with my afternoon tea.

 

Happiness is begging to have your days off rescheduled because of your own and your partner's concerns, then finding out that what you want is really convenient for your employer, and having your boss thank you for the offer and praising your flexibility...

 

Happiness is also going to the swimming pool after having given up the sport over a year ago for reasons you no longer remember or understand, and to find that while your brain has all sorts of doubts about whether this is a smart idea and how long you might last before sinking and having to be rescued by a not very attractive lifeguard, your body hasn't forgotten a thing and has already done 10 laps before you notice all is going just fine and you feel great...

[Carol the Dabbler]

*Sigh*... it will be ages until I get to see London (or any part of the British Isles), if ever.

You have my sympathy -- but at the same time, I'm puzzled. In American terms, you're practically next door to the UK, just a few hundred miles as the crow flies, and there's even a train nowadays (albeit under the ocean *shudder*).

 

Obviously distance isn't your only consideration, but I am once again reminded of this:  Europeans think 100 miles is a long distance, and Americans think 100 years is a long time.

 

Of course, I've never learned to swim properly, so who am I to talk? 

 

[T.o.b.y]

 

*Sigh*... it will be ages until I get to see London (or any part of the British Isles), if ever.

You have my sympathy -- but at the same time, I'm puzzled. In American terms, you're practically next door to the UK, just a few hundred miles as the crow flies, and there's even a train nowadays (albeit under the ocean *shudder*).

 

Obviously distance isn't your only consideration, but I am once again reminded of this:  Europeans think 100 miles is a long distance, and Americans think 100 years is a long time.

 

Of course, I've never learned to swim properly, so who am I to talk? 

 

Two problems: Time and money. When I do get a vacation long enough to travel, I try to see my family overseas. That is expensive too, of course, but once I'm there, at least I don't have to pay for a hotel. Belonging to two continents sort of limits other traveling I could theoretically do...

 

Oh, I can really recommend swimming. It's wonderful, and a few sessions with the right teacher will usually do the trick, even when you're past the age where you learn new stuff easily. The rest is practice. It's great exercise, especially if you (like me) have a bad back, and the water floats you along even if you don't try very hard, and it's relaxing, and easy on the joints. Plus, you come out all nice and clean instead of sticky and sweaty...

[Carol the Dabbler]

Yes, I understand the family thing.  Fortunately, Alex has relatives in various parts of the UK, so we have a perfectly good excuse to go there, and then London is just a few hours away by train.  There are other places I'd love to see, but will probably never go -- as you say, time and money.  Also, I don't like flying over huge expanses of water -- I can barely make peace with the North Atlantic (by thinking of Newfoundland, Greenland, Iceland, and Ireland as stepping stones).

 

Time and money are also two of my reasons for not knowing how to swim.  The nearest public pool is about a fifteen-minute drive away, but it's in the next county so I don't know whether we'd even be allowed in, and even if we were there's a fee.  And it's open only in the summer.  And -- perhaps my biggest reason -- since I'm not a good swimmer, I'm nervous about the possibility of being dunked by rambunctious kids -- though as I recall, they mostly go after other kids.  (Alex nearly drowned once when he was little, but fortunately the kid who had dunked him wasn't really a bad sort, and pulled him out.)  My attitude toward large bodies of water (meaning larger than a bathtub) is fairly hobbit-like, I'm afraid!

 

[Arcadia]

Mine as well. All sympathies to Sam Gamgee!

[T.o.b.y]

Time and money are also two of my reasons for not knowing how to swim.  The nearest public pool is about a fifteen-minute drive away, but it's in the next county so I don't know whether we'd even be allowed in, and even if we were there's a fee.  And it's open only in the summer.  And -- perhaps my biggest reason -- since I'm not a good swimmer, I'm nervous about the possibility of being dunked by rambunctious kids -- though as I recall, they mostly go after other kids.  (Alex nearly drowned once when he was little, but fortunately the kid who had dunked him wasn't really a bad sort, and pulled him out.)  My attitude toward large bodies of water (meaning larger than a bathtub) is fairly hobbit-like, I'm afraid!

 

Really, they limit access to county members? Oh my...

 

Where I live, there's a public pool in nearly every decent-sized town (there's even one in the hovel where I live, but I haven't tried it out yet - that will definitely change soon!). Yeah, they do all cost money, but not that much, especially if you're a kid, a student, senior citizen, unemployed, etc. etc. When I was at uni, I could buy a season pass for the equivalent of 25 dollars. Those days are over, of course, but my current income should be well sufficient to cover my aquatic activities. Time is more of a problem there, but I could (and will, I really will) go straight from work to the pool on foot.

 

I splurged today and treated myself to a few hours at one of those fancy pools with waterfalls and bubbly things. (Better enjoy my days of leisure while they last, and if I can't travel, I can at least have a bit of fun at home). Does anyone else ever feel as if they were two people, at least? I spent the entire time reasoning and negotiating with myself as if part of me were about ten. For example, I made myself do my laps before relaxing and goofing around, and at first it took some effort, but then I didn't want to stop, and I had to persuade myself to take it easy, because of the long walk home. Then came "no, we don't really want to eat french fries / yes, we do / no, we don't" and "those slides are for children, you know" / "But I want to try them out".

 

I do hope I didn't have all of those discussions out loud.