John Watson

[Artemis]

A formal diagnosis, probably yes. I think with the therapist it was just a professional opinion she intended to keep to herself, like "trust issues". That's not the kind of thing you'd say to a patient unless they came to you specifically for help with it (and even then there are procedures).

[Van Buren Supernova]

Make sense.

I imagine it doesn't happen often though. People with trust issues probably doesn't trust stranger to fix their issues. Or they trust professional strangers more than people they are close with, but I always imagine people with trust issues have them because they think it's necessary or have been disappointed before.

 

Can't really see in what circumstances when they decide to let their guards down. To finaly trust someone is one thing, like eventually when they learn that a person is trustworthy after a while, but wanting the issue to be fixed means generally they want to be more trusting. Generally, translate to general people. But who really wants that? Or am I alone in thinking trust issue is not a bad thing at all.

 

Giving benefit of doubts, giving chance, viewing things from other person's shoes is different with trust.

I can see the first three things being something that can be positively encouraged, but trust, not really, guard that.

 

Come to think of it, my advice to any friends or family who travel/go somewhere far or foreign and do something new is always a variation of 'be careful, don't trust anyone easily'.

 

Oh dear. I probably being too negative (I was told that I'm being negative) but that attitude actually saved me a lot of time in personal safety and financial too. So nope, not letting it go.

[Pseudonym]

I believe that too - a lot of people are too trusting. I'd rather be too guarded and not trusting enough than the other way around. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

That's certainly my motto when driving -- keep my eye on the other guy, because they may or may not do what I expect them to do, or even what they're supposed to do.

[Pseudonym]

I had some road rage with some stupid woman who cut me up yesterday. She cut me up, saw me ranting and started ranting back even though she was clearly in the wrong. Stupid... beeeeeep.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Gotta be careful -- sometimes those people can get violent.  First make sure you're not one of them, and then avoid the ones who are.

[Pseudonym]

Neither of us were stopped, she was heading one way, I was heading the other, and there was just a lot of arm waving and yelling until we were out of sight.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I know a guy who was involved in a road-rage incident that ended with one car side-swiping the other. So you don't have to pull over in order for things to escalate.

[Pseudonym]

Yup, I'm well aware there are all sorts of nutters out there. 

[Artemis]

Road rage was discussed on "Very British Problems", lol.  Apparently there's a lot of it because it's the only outlet you have for the feelings you keep bottled up.  :P

 

 

[Pseudonym]

Hm, interesting. What outlets do other people have?

[Carol the Dabbler]

When I was teaching high-schools math, I used to come home and bake brownies. Lots of brownies. I didn't use my mixer, I whupped the batter with a big wooden spoon. :D

[Arcadia]

I slam doors, I'm afraid. And if possible, take a walk. That's the best thing for me but I don't always have a chance to use it.

I think "trust issues" implies that John is more distrustful than is considered healthy, not merely that he's wary of strangers. Not that we ever see any evidence of it. If anything, what we see is that he's too trusting.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Yeah, like cozying right up to that strange woman who was waiting outside his door on New Year's Eve.

 

I slam doors too.  I think it's a gal thing.

[Pseudonym]

Yea, if there is a weird woman lurking outside your door you should be worrying you've got a stalker, not cheerfully agreeing to go off in a car with her to a deserted place. Especially when she clearly isn't Anthea. Think with your head John, not with your ahem. 

 

Has anyone read that fic where John has a crazy stalker? Can't for the life of me remember what it's called but it's a good 'un.

 

I'm not a door slammer. I was as a teenager, I can still remember the particular cadence my parents would use to yell "DON'T SLAM THE DOORS!" but these days I'm a silent seether. Might bang things about a little bit, but not too much.

 

Maybe you're right Artemis, I silently seethe until I can rant in my car without anyone hearing it. Thursday's road rage actually made me laugh at the ridiculous of it five minutes later. Two grown women flailing and yelling... but we're driving in opposite directions so our heads are awkwardly craned to maintain eye contact, and our windows are up so we can't hear a word from each other anyway. 

[Arcadia]

Yeah, like cozying right up to that strange woman who was waiting outside his door on New Year's Eve.

 

I slam doors too.  I think it's a gal thing.

 

Maybe, except that I think I inherited it from my dad.

[Artemis]

"Very British Problems #268: Becoming needlessly enraged by other people's driving.

 

Britain has the highest incidence of road rage in Europe.  Why?  Because the car is a secure metal box that's lockable from the inside, which means the British feel safe enough inside it to let themselves vent their repressed anger."

 

Lol.

 

I'm not a door slammer either.  I only did it a few times when I was a kid and got yelled at for it.  I need to be careful because I don't know my own strength, so I have a tendency to break things if I handle them with any force.  I like to do dishes (loudly) when I'm angry, but I also avoid it because I'm afraid of breaking them all, lol.

 

I'm normally very slow to anger, and when it does happen I deal with it privately, so me angry is a rare sight.  When it starts to come out, I feel myself getting increasingly crabby until I start losing my filter and saying snarky things I wouldn't normally say out loud.  At that point I remove myself from people and go do something alone until it subsides.  Sometimes I just need a good sulk.

 

 

[Artemis]

I slam doors too.  I think it's a gal thing.

 

I've known more guys to be door slammers than gals, personally.  Especially young guys.

 

 

[Pseudonym]

I think I was more a door slammer as a teen than my brothers. My eldest brother went off the rails though, I might have been slamming doors but he was getting into fights and being brought home by the police.

[Carol the Dabbler]

 

I slam doors too.  I think it's a gal thing.

 

 

I've known more guys to be door slammers than gals, personally.  Especially young guys.

Oh. Yeah, I see what you mean. But I think that's different. With them it's more a defiant, don't give a damn kinda thing, whereas with women (not girls) it's more impotent rage. Maybe that's the same thing, if take it way back to its roots, but to me, the effect is different.

[Van Buren Supernova]

I don't slam door too, don't know, it's not a habit and especially when I have dog I take note on making sounds. Anyway, my regular door interaction is already sound 'slamy'.

 

When I'm angry, like Artemis, I usually quite worried about what I'm capable of doing. I could easily break solid wood stuff into pieces (well if it happens that I have those in my disposal) but I don't break usable things. Always try to find something economical friendly to break, which is kind of dampen the urgency. Sometimes when I can't find it, I could stupidly punch the wall. Idiot.

But I think I am more patient nowadays, as in lesser big anger but more on pletora of mini angries. :p

And if I'm really mad at someone I usually go MIA until I want to be found.

 

In road rage I could be as stupid as giving chase to car. But I try to control myself better because as said, there are a lot of violent people out there.

 

I swear I have something relevant for John's thread, but my quota of playing is up. :(

[Van Buren Supernova]

Ah. John.

 

I know we sort of collectively agree that John seems to trust Sherlock quite soon, and quite fast.

I also wonder why he was not really alarmed (or trust) with Donovan and Mycroft's warning. I mean, their warnings were quite serious for someone you have just met and sound creepy enough. Or is it reasoned with that lousy very arguably line that he is addicted to danger?

 

Another thing, having seen part of MHR lately, the line Sherlock said, something along with "maybe I should wink. People seem to like it. It humanizes me." He did wink at John the first time they met, when he introduced himself. I find that interesting that it is HOW Sherlock tries to sell himself as potential good human enough flatmate. :D

 

P.S. He is good at winking though. I never able to do that with one eye. So everytime I tried, people thought I had something in my eyes. Both.

[Artemis]

I know we sort of collectively agree that John seems to trust Sherlock quite soon, and quite fast.

 

Not meeeeee.  (Same with Mycroft's assessment of "very loyal, very quickly."  I don't think John's behavior in ASiP had much to do with trust or loyalty at all, personally.)

 

As for ignoring the warnings, so would I.  I'll make up my own mind, thank you.

 

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

True. I don't believe other people's warnings too especially if I don't trust them yet. But although I'd judge it myself, I still keep those in mind until I've seen proves to eliminate it.

 

However, John seems not to pay any attention to those. Or, Sherlock is too fast paced to let him have time to consider his decisions and interactions with Sherlock?

[Artemis]

Well we can't really tell whether he kept the warnings in mind or not.  He might have.  Deciding not to take their warnings doesn't mean he didn't consider them.

 

I don't think Sherlock has that kind of control over John.  He follows Sherlock's lead but he wants to go, it's his own choice.  He has his own mind and I think he acted in accordance with his own principles and desires.