How do you relate to Sherlock (the series)?

[Arcadia]

Oooops, sorry, didn't realize you wanted some, VBS and I just finished it off. Mostly VBS, I just cleaned up the crumbs. :p

[Van Buren Supernova]

 

[Arcadia]

Did you eat your emotie too? It appears to be missing.....

[Artemis]

I'm actually more comfortable in a sheet.  I walk around in one more than I'd like to admit, lol.

 

The clothing discussion in Molly's thread reminded me that I meant to expound upon this: I love to wear blankety things.  I actually have worn a blanket out of doors once or twice, but obviously I can't do that all time, so I make do by wearing scarves, shawls, and ponchos when I can get away with it.  It's like a bit of comfort or protection for me, almost literally a "security blanket" I suppose.  If cloaks were ever to come back into style I would be the happiest girl in the world, lol.

 

Quote away, if you like, we do seem to share a lot of traits in this forum!

Yes, please, quote and share away!

 

But I'm only allowed to quote 10 posts at a time, and I don't want to be obnoxious, lol.

 

And, we have cake.

My favorite dessert, and as it happens, my first word!

 

 

Oh gosh, how do I relate to "Sherlock"... let me count the ways!

 

 

[Artemis]

On 9/8/2015 at 3:27 PM, J.P. said:

Caution - this will be long!

Not as long as mine!

(Seriously this really is going to be long.  Most of these were intended to be responses to what the rest of you said, but there were so many, I just decided to lump it all together into one huge character assessment.  Apologies in advance.)

 

 

[Removed.]

And so here I am today.  I hope you all enjoyed my pared-down life story in relation to "Sherlock", lol.  Honestly there is even more, both character-specific and situation-specific, but I get the distinct feeling that this is probably what's called "oversharing".  I'm not normally prone to talking about myself, I'm actually very wary of giving away any revealing information.  Maybe I've been holding in too long.

 

 

[Arcadia]

I suspect many of us here can relate to at least some part of your story. I had a friend like yours once, but times changed, we went our own ways. We saw each other again many years ago, and clicked like we'd never been apart, but don't stay in touch much any more ... Christmas letters is about all, now. I miss that friendship.

 

Anyway, you're in good company here, we all luvvvvv to be investigative!

[Artemis]

I suspected as much, otherwise I don't think I could have shared it.

 

This seems to be a forum of like-minded people, and that's new for me.  I'm enjoying it.  =]  Maybe a little too much, lol.  Wish I had found it when I first started watching!

 

 

[Arcadia]

When did you first start watching? I first saw it about 9-10 months before S3 came out, and have been getting steadily crazier ever since. :p

[Artemis]

I believe it was sometime in September 2012. I used to keep an online journal, I should search back and see if I wrote anything about it.

 

I remember figuring out that the seasons were only 3 episodes each, and being positively bummed... And then figuring out that the wait between seasons could be 2 years or more, lol.

[Van Buren Supernova]

Thanks for sharing, feel free anytime.

 

Like you, sometimes I think I overshared as well, as I always said that I have to kill everyone one day as members here know too much about me compared to my real life friends. And there are many times when I feel I am around too much I need to disappear for a while so people don't get sick of me. But then again I realize well maybe, it is because I feel comfortable being around here, and as someone who is normally detached, I feel strangely attached here. I think it's understandable, I have found new standard of 'normal' and no longer stand outside it or feel the need to make face or run.

 

Want to ask, if you don't mind, :p how is that comfortable wearing sheet?

It's nice wrapping myself in sheet or blanket, but not without anything underneath. :D

I said I hated it because I had to go Sherlock style.

 

 

And for someone with brain damage history, you sound much better than 99.999999976553% of people I know. I am glad you recovered from whatever you had.

[Artemis]

This scene from TEH, where he's shaking John's voice out of his head.  I do that sometimes, with invasive memories and such.  (Try not to around other people of course.)

 

 

[J.P.]

But then again I realize well maybe, it is because I feel comfortable being around here, and as someone who is normally detached, I feel strangely attached here.

Well, it might be due to the fact that here we can share our sherlock-ness without having to bear with our other traits. :P

[HerlockSholmes]

I’ve only just spotted this thread. Some very interesting, complex and thought provoking responses so, being the simple guy I am, I’ll keep my response simple.

 

In social situations (well, any situation really) I find it impossible to pretend to be interested in something or even someone. I’m polite (hey I’m English

[Arcadia]

"A coma of disinterest." Now that's something I relate to! (But not with technology, with ... ahem ... people. Especially people who are talking. :p Yes, I'm awful. :p)

 

Still deciding if the cat counts, it might just mean you'd like a housekeeper.....

 

 

[T.o.b.y]

Boredom is actually the area where Sherlock and I have the least in common. I am almost never bored and quite the opposite of a thrill-seeker.

 

When reality fails to engage my interest, I just zone out and daydream. Mid-conversation too if need be. Not very polite but sometimes necessary to protect my sanity.

[HerlockSholmes]

Boredom is actually the area where Sherlock and I have the least in common. I am almost never bored and quite the opposite of a thrill-seeker.

 

When reality fails to engage my interest, I just zone out and daydream. Mid-conversation too if need be. Not very polite but sometimes necessary to protect my sanity.

I’m certainly not a thrill seeker either T.o.b.y. One of the few times that I get stressed in life is when I contemplate the fact that I have a boring task to do. Instead of just doing it and getting it out of the way like a sensible person I have a tendency to put things off. I spend more time thinking of ways of getting out of doing things than I would have done in actually doing them. There’s no such thing as a life without boring tasks but I live in an endless quest to achieve one

[Carol the Dabbler]

One of the few times that I get stressed in life is when I contemplate the fact that I have a boring task to do. Instead of just doing it and getting it out of the way like a sensible person I have a tendency to put things off. I spend more time thinking of ways of getting out of doing things than I would have done in actually doing them. There’s no such thing as a life without boring tasks but I live in an endless quest to achieve one

[Van Buren Supernova]

I'm imagining Carol jumping on trampoline and now I can't get it out of my head XD!

I'm accident prone at home and I believe that thing would seriously hurt me.

 

 

I'm finding myself in situation that makes me think of Sherlock.

It's always uneasy for me to express sympathy eventhough I do feel bad for people. It's also me being a pain when wanting to make sure that works get done, and sometimes put it above other things.

For example, I was waiting for this guy who was late for his appointment with me. Late is my pet peeves, especially when there is no time to waste. And this guy had been running late on me multiple times. Luckily, I had other things to do while waiting so I was in okay mood when he finally arrived. And he told me that he had lost his bag that has his stuffs, computer etc. What I did was just an 'OH' and I proceeded to talk about work. Until the end of our meeting, I finally had a little time to relax and asked him more about it. But then, it's probably not adequate as well since I barely reacted to his story and went on my way shortly after. I sympathized, in this kind of time, it would be pain in the ass to lost important sensitive stuffs, but I figured there is nothing that I could do anyway.

 

Tomorrow, I'll be meeting with someone, who has lost his leg to amputation due to diabetes. He was off work but had been back to do the latest project remotely. I had worked with him before and he could produce decent work with close supervision.

The thing is, what he did for this latest project, sucks. Being my responsibility, I have to make it right, but, the only way to make it right is being firm, very firm. I haven't offered any condolences to him regarding his leg because I was told by others, not him, and in my mind, it's not polite to ask because he might not want his condition known.

 

Now I'm weary that, knowing me, I would go straight to work stuffs. Probably offering couple of awkward words (if I could! I strongly doubt it) that I still don't know that probably sounds heartless and careless. And then be heartless in commenting on the works.

I played the scenarios multiple times but it's very difficult to see other outcomes.

I sympathize with him, but I can't make kind words (and those don't help him anyway) but I need to get my job and his job done, and by looking at it, I'm not going to be pleasant if I want to execute it well.

 

Aiz.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I'd say stick to business unless *he* mentions the amputation (in which case, be briefly sympathetic, then back to business).  Mixing the two sounds dangerous.

 

Sounds to me like you did fine with the first guy.  He may or may not have thought so, because you and he are two different people, but that's OK because it's just the way the world is.

 

Hey, I specifically said "bouncing gently"!  :P 

[Van Buren Supernova]

 

Sorry. The image has been embedded, can't change it. For your defense, I think it would be harder for me to imagine 'bouncing gently' without giggling XD. Sorry but that sounds lame! :D (Don't banish me).

 

Yes I would very much stick to business but the culture of this place is 'everyone is polite and full of empathy' and I envy English language when it sounds natural to say I'm sorry for your... and move on, while it's more difficult to express that kind of thing without making it sounds awkward.

Haven't met up yet, I guess I would just throw myself in and see how I would mess it up.

[Arcadia]

^ This is why I hated being a supervisor at one job I had.

 

Good luck, VBS.

[J.P.]

I would maybe ask how he's been and wait for the answer.

[Van Buren Supernova]

The good thing is I am not actually his supervisor, I am on the receiving side of the product, with the main right to supervise the quality, through his own supervisor or directly. His kind of work is the one I need to deal with directly.

 

I am weary if I ask him how he's been though. Would he look at me and think isn't it obvious? Look at me.

It normally goes along this, How have you been. Hope everything is well? Right?

But since it's obviously not well..

But I don't know anything else, and you are right, if I never bring it up it would be weird too, I would stand there awkwardly when he moved around because we would move around.

 

Aiz.

I was thinking of another guy with same relation who lost his son from drowning in the sea (from leisure swimming in the sea that went wrong), both were working in the same project I look after. I found out when the father was away getting his son home for funeral. When he came back, all I could say was sorry awkwardly and I really felt sorry for him. He told me about what happened and after awhile we went back to work stuff.

 

Maybe I would say something like take care, hope everything will be better? Along the lines.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Do you have any feel for how the amputee feels about his situation?  He'd rather have the leg back, obviously -- but some people want sympathy and some prefer to be treated like everybody else.  Perhaps you could have a brief confidential chat with his boss beforehand, and find out where this fellow fits in that continuum?

 

I would say, if he's either a business-as-usual type or one of those guys who wants to wallow in sympathy, you're better off just treating him like anybody else, with no mention of the leg.  If he's an in-between type, then I agree, a brief mention of sympathy, then back to business.

[T.o.b.y]

I think it's important to separate the personal and the professional. Some expression of sympathy might actually make your criticism of his work easier to deal with because you would be making clear that you have absolutely nothing against him as a person and are merely unhappy with the job he did. Especially if it's constructive criticism and focused on how to best move forward instead of just complaining about past mistakes that can't be undone now anyway.

 

I am definitely in the "please pretend you don't notice my distress" camp. I can croak "I'm fine" just like Sherlock. Because at heart, I am very emotional and when people sympathize with me, it often makes me cry and I don't want to cry at work.

 

So yeah, I agree with Carol, try to find out if you can where this guy falls on the need for sympathy scale.

 

What I have found helpful is asking people who are clearly not okay whether they want to talk about it. Then if they say no, it's business as usual but they aren't left thinking I didn't notice or don't care.

 

I remember one time, a colleague came to work with red, swollen eyes, clearly due to lots of crying. Another colleague asked her what was wrong and she said she didn't want to talk about it, but the person who asked just wouldn't let go and kept bringing it up. Drove me up the wall, especially when I was criticized by the overzealous sympathizer as being "cold" and "heartless". How about just respectful of another person's privacy? I hate it when people assume you're friends just because you work together.