Speedy's Cafe - General Chat about anything you like!

[T.o.b.y]

What do German teens do, meet at the movies / restaurant / party / whatever?

 

I think the most honest answer on my part would be "I really don't know". But as far as I know, yes. Not just teens, also grown-ups going out together. You usually meet at the place where you plan to spend the evening, or at least start it.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I watched this video some days ago: a comparison of dating in the US and Germany. Just if anyone is interested (I love such videos that compare aspects of different cultures).

Thanks for that video! It's not only interesting, but the German fellow is really cute (and probably about half my age!).

 

I see that the same two guys have done a whole series of comparison videos.  I'll have to check out some more of them (and not just to watch the German fellow).

 

[Arcadia]

I think Schlauer pretty well describes what I think a "traditional" date is ... and I dislike them for pretty much all the reasons listed above. It's just awkward and artificial. I much prefer getting to know someone because we have shared interests or shared friends or whatever.

[T.o.b.y]

:lol: I prefer knowing people to meeting them, anyway. I'd never trade the trust and intimacy of an established relationship / friendship for any number of fluttery feelings. Isn't it lovely when you know someone so well and feel so comfortable around them, that having them over or staying at their place is almost like being alone, only somehow warmer? I love being so close to someone that there's no need to make small talk, or even to talk at all if either of us is not inclined to do so. I also love friends who will just do their thing, whatever that is - work, exercise, art, TV, computer games, whatever - when I am around. If I want to join in, well and good, if I want to do something else alongside them, fine as well. Nothing pressures me so much as feeling I have entertain another person (I suck at that).

 

This is probably why almost all my important relationships were formed before I was 18. The older I get, the more unsociable I become...

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

 

This is probably why almost all my important relationships were formed before I was 18. The older I get, the more unsociable I become...

 

Well, you're lucky in that aspect. The older I get, the more I hate people. I'm not unsociable, I just really don't like a lot of my so-called "peers".

[Carol the Dabbler]

Don't worry, they'll grow up!  ;)

 

Honestly, the first time I went to a high-school reunion, I was amazed by how much fun it was to talk with people that I'd had absolutely no interest in when we were teens -- and they said similar things about me!

 

[T.o.b.y]

Well, you're lucky in that aspect. The older I get, the more I hate people. I'm not unsociable, I just really don't like a lot of my so-called "peers".

 

Oh, don't worry. When I was in school, I hated most of my peers as well. Well, not hated. That's too strong a word. But I felt disconnected from them, as if I was from a strange planet. It seemed that nobody knew the books I liked, listened to my kind of music or thought my kinds of thoughts. Heck, most kids didn't even speak my preferred language properly! I was very unpopular and I think in hindsight what annoyed most of my classmates was my arrogant "F*** you all, I don't want to fit in with you lot" attitude. I must have been insufferable, come to think of it. Sherlock minus the good looks and talent.

 

But the good news is, not only do they grow up, but so do we. And at work, even at university, you mix with people from a lot of different age groups. The concept of "peers" becomes less important. My "peers" now, the people at work who are at the same level (more or less) as I are somewhere between 15 an 40. They come from all over the world. Some have kids, some haven't even got a steady partner yet. And none of us can afford to hate the others. We have to pull together, like it or lump it, and so far, it's worked out just fine, especially since if you have to work with people like 60 hours a week, it becomes totally acceptable not to want to meet them after hours. At least at my place.

 

Hang in there. How many years have you got until school is over? It will get better. I can almost promise that.

 

[Schlauer Fuchs]

I agree with Toby, it gets better after school - more decent, reasonable, sensitive and in the best sense of the word grown up people to be amongst (and still quite a number of pinheads ;)).

 

And speaking of Uni, I must share with you my joy about what just happened: I went to the post office and handed in my Master's thesis. :bouncy: :bouncy:

I can't believe it's done, I'm so happy. Never will I right (really now? I can't even bring myself to correct this mistake since it's so cute!) such a long paper again :D Now comes the great post-thesis time for which I have already made a list of all the fun things I want to do (including lots of readings and DVDs - I'll finally watch my Dr Who DVDs, yay :D). And in order to celebrate this day, I'll meet with a good friend this evening, have a sausage on the Christmas Market, drink some cocktails and then go to the cinema and see the Hobbit in the original (= English) version :lol:  I'm on a total emotional high right now and just love this beautiful, beautiful historic day :D :D

 

oh really, the number of emoticons is limited? But I need them, it's such a special day!!!

[SherlockedCAMPer]

Yes the emoticons are limited to 10. Somewhere on here I have a post that used all 10 in an interesting way according to someone else. Congrats on the thesis. I did something similar about 4 years ago. It was a masters research project versus a full thesis.

[Bubu]

Wow, congratulations, Schlauer Fuchs!

I was feeling a little bit sad but after I read that, somehow, it really made me smile and I got that nice, warm feeling... I'm happy for you (and with you I guess :D)
Ah, I wish I had plans like that... However, the Hobbit is there - I'm just waiting for everybody to see it, so there is not so many people at the cinema...

[Carol the Dabbler]

I went to the post office and handed in my Master's thesis. :bouncy: :bouncy:

I can't believe it's done, I'm so happy.... :D :D

 

oh really, the number of emoticons is limited? But I need them, it's such a special day!!!

Congratulations, Schlauer Fuchs!

 

And do feel free to make additional posts, till you've used enough emoticons!

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

 

Well, you're lucky in that aspect. The older I get, the more I hate people. I'm not unsociable, I just really don't like a lot of my so-called "peers".

 

 

Hang in there. How many years have you got until school is over? It will get better. I can almost promise that.

 

Counting college (if I go there), I've got nine years to go. In the meantime, this is me:

 

[sittything]

Bendy, college is sooo much better than high school.  Soooo much better.

 

Schlauer Fuchs, congrats on finishing the master's thesis!  Your evening sounds lovely, and you totally deserve it!

[SherlockedCAMPer]

Counting college (if I go there), I've got nine years to go. In the meantime, this is me:

 

 

Trust me when I say high school is better that junior high/middle school. Also college is definitely better. I interact with more of my college classmates than I do with my classmates from before and I live in the town where I went to high school.

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

 

Counting college (if I go there), I've got nine years to go. In the meantime, this is me:

 

Trust me when I say high school is better that junior high/middle school. Also college is definitely better. I interact with more of my college classmates than I do with my classmates from before and I live in the town where I went to high school.

 

If you say so...

[SherlockedCAMPer]

I was the social outcast in junior high and picked on by people who began to grow up in high school.  And I had 1 classmate that we were just about friends by our senior year (we had known each other since 7th grade & it took her that long to warm up to me).

[T.o.b.y]

And speaking of Uni, I must share with you my joy about what just happened: I went to the post office and handed in my Master's thesis. :bouncy:

I can't believe it's done, I'm so happy. Never will I right (really now? I can't even bring myself to correct this mistake since it's so cute!) such a long paper again :D Now comes the great post-thesis time for which I have already made a list of all the fun things I want to do (including lots of readings and DVDs - I'll finally watch my Dr Who DVDs, yay :D). And in order to celebrate this day, I'll meet with a good friend this evening, have a sausage on the Christmas Market, drink some cocktails and then go to the cinema and see the Hobbit in the original (= English) version :lol:  I'm on a total emotional high right now and just love this beautiful, beautiful historic day :D

 

oh really, the number of emoticons is limited? But I need them, it's such a special day!!!

 

Congratulations!

 

I am envious that you have a movie theater near you that shows The Hobbit in English. I checked for my area the other day and go nothing. Drat.

 

Have a wonderful time celebrating. I hope you're not like me. I had an emotional high for exactly one evening after I passed my finals, and then I plummeted right into all the depression and anxiety that for me always come with the end of an era. Not knowing what happens next, having to say goodbye to my student apartment and the city I'd lived in for 6 years, job hunt, moving... Blech. Thank god I found an employer really fast, and after two months of turmoil was happily settled again and working my ass off, which seems to be the best state for me to be in. I sympathize with Sherlock. Without the work, my brain rots...

 

Wow, that was about as negative as can be. So sorry. I really do hope you are not like me and will get to thoroughly enjoy your big achievement. A Master's thesis. Wow. You must be pretty proud of yourself right now!

 

[Schlauer Fuchs]

Thanks to all of you

I'm still happy  :D  even my students at school noticed that I was in a particularly good mood today.

 

 

Have a wonderful time celebrating. I hope you're not like me. I had an emotional high for exactly one evening after I passed my finals, and then I plummeted right into all the depression and anxiety that for me always come with the end of an era. Not knowing what happens next, having to say goodbye to my student apartment and the city I'd lived in for 6 years, job hunt, moving...

 

Well, I know pretty well what's coming for me in the next months, so there is not so much anxiety there. The only thing I don't know yet is where it is going to happen, and I had enough time to prepare for this bit of uncertainty so that it won't get me down. Knowing that my studies are over now is of course bittersweet, after all I liked university. But on the other hand I feel like it's time to move on, do something new, so it's probably the best moment to say goodbye - leaving on a high is probably the best way to leave
 

 

I am envious that you have a movie theater near you that shows The Hobbit in English. I checked for my area the other day and go nothing. Drat.

Well, that's the advantage of living in the Ruhr area, I guess: you have everything you could wish for in a reasonable distance. But living in northern Germany or anywhere where you don't have so many people and cities has its advantages, too. I'd definitely consider moving to a more rural area if that became an option. If only there weren't my friends and family who are all here as well...

 

[T.o.b.y]

Maybe it's just my German blood coming through as well, but I love to complain.

 

That made me slap my thighs :lol:  Yeah, it's just so typical for Germans to complain about everything and stress the negative side of things rather than the positive. Well, other people do it as well, yet complaining seems to be a traditional German virtue and I sometimes think I should try to more stress the positive aspects of things. Which isn't easy for me. I'm afraid I really focus on negative aspects a lot.

 

Oh dear. Well, to counteract our nation's negative stereotype and spread a little Christmas spirit, I will hereby count my blessings:

 

- I have all my Christmas presents together and it isn't even December 20th yet

- According to the last shift plan I saw, I do not have to work Christmas day (that may change, though...)

- My apartment is really well insulated and terribly cozy with the raging storm outside

- I have a lovely blue teapot with matching mug and milk pitcher, and I am seated like a queen on my sofa drinking tea out of my best china, no ugly paper milk carton in sight, and nibbling luxury chocolates

- I own all 9 Sherlock episodes and will now proceed to watch my favorite one

- I know a civil place on the internet where I can go afterwards and gush my silly little heart out

 

A big smile to you all:

[sittything]

Hah, is that really a German stereotype?!  That's too funny.  Maybe that's why my family is so complainy.  Although, my German family came over to America like 300 years ago, so if so, they've really clung to that.  lol

[SherlockedCAMPer]

My German side is Jewish and the stubborn complainer rears it's ugly head quite nicely in my family.

[Bendydoodle Cantaloupe]

My grandma's super stubborn and very naggy, even though she's 100% Asian!

[T.o.b.y]

In another side of my internet life, I'm in a forum/group for exceptionally and profoundly gifted individuals and family of such individuals.

 

Wow, that sounds interesting! I have a few questions, all of them nosy and impertinent, I am afraid, so I won't be the least bit offended if you don't answer or tell me to mind my own bloody business, but:

 

- Are you family or one of the above mentioned gifted individuals? Or both?

- How do I define "exceptionally and profoundly gifted"? Is there a test? If so, what does it test? Where is the dividing line between profoundly and exceptionally gifted and just gifted? And how can I tell whether someone is not gifted at all?

- What kind of gift(s) exactly are we talking about? High IQ? Rare talents? Both? Neither?

- Is there a reliable estimate how many people fall in this category?

- Would you say that Mycroft and Sherlock are accurate portrayals of "gifted" people?

 

I've never met anybody who truly struck me as a genius. Okay, maybe one professor or two at uni, but they don't really count as "met". I studied with a girl who is a lot smarter than me, and that was a cool experience, especially since she's kind and never got annoyed with my "goldfishness" - she just never really understood that not anybody can do what she can, and so I tried to meet expectations and got a lot better myself.

 

It must be fascinating to associate with a bunch of prodigies. And a bit frightening, too. What do you guys talk about?

 

 

 

[Boton]

 

In another side of my internet life, I'm in a forum/group for exceptionally and profoundly gifted individuals and family of such individuals.

 

Wow, that sounds interesting! I have a few questions, all of them nosy and impertinent, I am afraid, so I won't be the least bit offended if you don't answer or tell me to mind my own bloody business, but:

 

- Are you family or one of the above mentioned gifted individuals? Or both?

- How do I define "exceptionally and profoundly gifted"? Is there a test? If so, what does it test? Where is the dividing line between profoundly and exceptionally gifted and just gifted? And how can I tell whether someone is not gifted at all?

- What kind of gift(s) exactly are we talking about? High IQ? Rare talents? Both? Neither?

- Is there a reliable estimate how many people fall in this category?

- Would you say that Mycroft and Sherlock are accurate portrayals of "gifted" people?

 

I've never met anybody who truly struck me as a genius. Okay, maybe one professor or two at uni, but they don't really count as "met". I studied with a girl who is a lot smarter than me, and that was a cool experience, especially since she's kind and never got annoyed with my "goldfishness" - she just never really understood that not anybody can do what she can, and so I tried to meet expectations and got a lot better myself.

 

It must be fascinating to associate with a bunch of prodigies. And a bit frightening, too. What do you guys talk about?

 

 

 

 

 

That's fine; I don't think your questions are nosy.  :-)  Here are my answers:

 

1.  I'm the gifted individual, although I suspect my husband is too.  I remembered my IQ from testing in school; he doesn't remember his, and we haven't been able to get the right records to satisfy our curiosity.

 

2./3.  In this case, exceptionally and profoundly gifted refer to IQ.  There are different cut-offs depending on what IQ test you are using (some IQ tests will generate "lower" or "higher" scores than others).  Here  is a good discussion of all the issues involved.  For the sake of argument, let's say exceptionally gifted is an IQ of 150ish, and profoundly gifted is an IQ of 175ish.  

 

You probably can't reliably tell if someone is gifted unless you spend a great deal of time with them.  I would say you are looking for people who can quickly take in the detail and the implications of a situation and apply their knowledge and analysis accordingly.  You may also be looking for someone who is an "autodidact," or able to teach themselves most things.  I will say about myself that I didn't know until I was in college that people actually had to be taught things -- I thought everyone automatically understood things as they were presented the first time, and that the purpose of school was just to make sure you were exposed to the same information everyone else was so that you could teach it to yourself and everyone in society started from common ground.  

 

Remember, though, that even the most gifted have areas/subjects that baffle them, or have bad days, or have logic flaws, or just have "goldfish" moments.  One of the things, ironically, that most makes me think Sherlock and Mycroft are EPG (exceptionally/profoundly gifted) is the two of them sitting there playing Operation -- if it's fun, it's fun, and who the heck cares what other people would think?

 

4.  Since EPG is really calculated based on standard deviations in the bell curve of IQ, people have done calculations of how many EPG are in any given population.  I can't find those numbers right now, and I'm too lazy to do the math.     However, I do think the important take-away is that the stats are meaningless in any population we would deal with daily.  Just because I find out how many EPG are in the United States tells me nothing about how many are at my next cocktail party.

 

5.  I think that Sherlock and Mycroft are accurate portrayals of some facets of EPG, as long as you go with what you see on screen and don't try to overlay a lot of other assumptions.  For example, a lot of people like the idea that Sherlock is on the autism spectrum and try to conflate intelligence and autism in sort of a "Rainman" style savantism.  That's one interpretation of the characters, of course, but it shouldn't then inform a perception of EPG.

 

I think the deductive ability is the characteristic that is most closely aligned with EPG.  If you break it down, Sherlock's and Mycroft's deductive skill is really a series of rapid observations followed by either statistical analysis or intuition about what the fact means.  The taxi cab deduction (from ACD canon!) about John's phone is a pretty good example.  Sherlock just noticed a whole bunch of things and then, because he probably has an eidetic memory (that is visualized for us as a method of loci "mind palace"), he matches his observations up with facts and makes judgments based on probability for some of them.  Because someone EPG might have a greater facility with handling, storing, and using facts, it can seem like "seeing through" the other person, but it really isn't. 

 

6.  What do we talk about?  It depends.  I don't want to give a whole bunch of specific examples because I want to protect that group's anonymity if they want it, but I only get involved in discussions about specific EPG experience.  For example, the info I shared above about being an autodidact was something that came from discussions with this group; I don't know that I had really understood that that ability came from my intelligence until I compared notes with these other EPG people.  I stay away from discussions that start to become about how "tiring" the "goldfish" are, to put it in Mycroft-y terms, because I don't find that to be true, and, even if it were, I don't find it to be a helpful attitude.

 

 

...

Apparently, brevity is not one of the things I got from any EPGness I might have!

[sittything]

Holy cannoli!  150?!  175?!  You mentioned earlier 2-3 standard deviations not making much of a difference, but +2 standard deviations is only 130.  +3 is only 145, so both exceptionally and profoundly gifted people are greater than 3 standard deviations from the norm (100).  I would say there is going to be a significant difference between someone who is exceptionally or profoundly gifted vs. someone who is +2 standard deviations from the norm (130).