Introverts, how is your day?

[Lalarun]

:lol: I actually try to hide from shop assistants. When they approach, I duck behind whatever shelves are closest. If it's a clothing store, I usually grab a pile of random things and rush to the changing room.

Me too. But I still hate buying clothes in shops the most of all things I have to buy.

 

I am not a big fan of malls and unpersonal shops either, but blessed be department stores and supermarkets where you're mostly on your own since the shop assistants have too much to do to help you anyway. ;P

Yes, that's probably why I don't mind supermarkets as much as smaller clothes shops for example. But then I don't like some of them either due to other reasons (like the annoying background music and advertising jingles). Okay, clothes shops have that background music too, so one more reason to hate them.

I think my favourite shops are book stores. It's usually silent and as long as there's no shop assistant around to ask what you are looking for you can look around all by yourself. Even avoiding the shop assisitant's attention is easy by reading a bit in an interesting book.

 

My additional problem is that I am easily overwhelmed by sensory input, no matter what causes it. Especially by noise, loud music that is exciting for others, causes physical pain to me. I hear better than most people at my age, especially high frequencies. Can you imagine the looks I earned searching the office for a source of high piercing tone that nobody else could hear?

 

Anyway, I'm definitive introvert. But in nice environment, with a topic I find interesting, I can turn into a chatterbox in split second.

I can imagine since I experience the same. I am usually the one who wants others to stop listening to music that is too loud for me.

Well, to contribute something that has actually to do with the thread title: I spent four hours in a car today with two other people arguing about the volume of the music. Furthermore I was in a crowded restaurant with other people trying to have boring conversations with me. I was happy when I finally was at home.

 

In addition to that I am annoyed by tones no one else hears. It usually leads to conversations like this:

Me: What is this noise? Where does it come from?

Other person: I don't hear it.

 

Oh, you better should avoid speaking about some things to me when you don't want to turn me into a person who is suddenly not so shy anymore and goes on and on in a conversation. People seem to be confused by that.

 

I am weird with music. Some of my favorite pieces / songs are really powerful, and in the right mood, driving my car on the highway, I love to turn them up really loud and shout along. Other times (most times), I find noise really irritating - and I can never stand the sound volume they have at bars and clubs or fun fairs, which is one of the many reasons why I avoid those places.

 

I do love to talk, though. It only depends on with whom, about what and when and where. What I really cannot stand is when I'm busy doing stuff inside my mind and somebody wants to start a conversation. I get intensely annoyed, to the outside world for absolutely no reason, since to them, I was "just sitting there doing nothing". Thanks to Sherlock, however, I can now just tell my family "do not disturb, am inside mind palace, will surface eventually." :lol: The character really has helped my mom understand me, I think. She doesn't love the series, but she likes detective shows, and she's seen the first 5 episodes. I just pointed to him and went: "there. that. me. sometimes. got it?" And I think she did. :D

The volume at those places is really awful. It is so exhausting and painful that I usually leave (or avoid) them even more than I would if the music were acceptable.

 

I guess I am doing stuff in my mind too often then. I hate being disturbed while I am doing it. The result is either 1. I am so absorbed that I don't even realize someonewas talking to me (or it takes an unusual amount of time to realize it) or 2. I am answering, but try to keep it as short as possible to avoid a further conversation with the person.

I have to say that I do that especially when I am outside on a walk and so often miss people's greetings because I don't pay attention. They don't like that.

Maybe I should wear a "Do not disturb" shirt while I am on such walks like that one:

 

Busy.

https://221cblog.wordpress.com/2016/03/27/for-introverted-people-do-not-disturb/

 

That would probably rather work than one with "Do not disturb, am inside mind palace, will surface eventually." although I like that phrase. I don't know how well-known the phrase mind palace is for people who don't watch Sherlock.

Hmm, my mum has watched all Sherlock episodes, so I could try that explanation too.

[Lalarun]

Just continuing in another post since I wasn't allowed to quote that much in one reply:

Unwanted background music annoys the hell out of me. Even if it's actually hardly audible. When it's just something I have no control over and it has no use (like people at work) I could kill...

Yes, it's a control thing for me most of the time. If I have the control and can stop something any time I want to, I can handle it better because I know I can turn it off if it annoys me.

 

I'm terrified with hair saloon as well. Now I'm staying in a place where you can get full service with very good price but I choose to cut my hair only when I'm back home, in those express hair cut, that only takes 10 minutes sitting in a box (where most patrons are normally men) just because I hate chatty hair stylists, either they are just chatty, want to promote their products or comments about my unusual natural hair color or anything they can comment on.

I go to the same hair saloon for many years now. They know me and know I am not a chatty person, so they stay silent. I still don't like it though... Just reminds me of my appointment there in a few days.

 

Anyway, I remember when I was a kid, I begged my mom to leave me home alone instead of going to relative or someone's house with her, unless the person we visited have comic books, magazines or pets, and I am only required to say hi and bye.

Me too. It took my parents a while, but when I was a teenager I was finally "allowed to" stay at home. It was still terrible when the relatives came together at our home. I spent many of those meetings in my room, reading or playing something on my own.

 

What about not confiding with others? Do you share your problems? 

I usually don't share my problems but rather try to solve it by myself. I think I do that for various reasons. I don't want to bother others with my problems, I don't like to share those problems with them because I don't want them to know about them and I always wonder if it would actually help to tell them about a specific problem. Could they help me with it or would it just bother and worry them as well?

 

To know about the sensory overload was one of the most important things I discovered. Sadly it was a bit late.
Alone knowing makes things easier (because they finally make sense!) - knowing is also a kind of being in control. Plus you can do something about it. Ear plugs. Making sure you can leave any time. Keeping the rewards in mind.
I don't hate people, I hate the noise they make.

I was very relieved when I finally discovered the term sensory overload. It put me in the right direction for further research and I agree that knowing makes things easier. It helped me to understand a part of me better. It even somehow made me more comfortable with doing stuff that is good for me and not just trying to stand it, so I take care of the possiblity to leave when I feel like it with feeling less pressure of having to stand it.

 

 

I don't hate people, I hate the noise they make.

 
What about T-shirt for that too? Or you've got it?

Good idea.

[Arcadia]

I had a nice quiet day, just me, my iPod and my art supplies. Bliss. No, Mom, I was not lonely.

[Van Buren Supernova]

I am thankful for you guys.

For those out there who look at me funny everytime my I kicks in, they don't know how weird they are. :p

[Bluebell]

I have to say, me too. There are so many posts here I can relate to.

 

And today, the sentence 'I don't hate people, I hate the noise they make.', really came in handy when I was talking to someone, because it says so much and it's the perfect explanation for it in short.

[Van Buren Supernova]

Well, it works in another form as well. I am sitting here now at a public seating area waiting for someone. It was peaceful, quiet, then this girl sits down next to me and talks on the phone loudly, I mean LOUD. I can hear all the conversations and everything, and what drives me even crazier, they are gossiping, through phone, nothing important! Shut up, get a room.., and tone down that beak.

Blah

[Bluebell]

Oh god, yes - I so miss old school phone boxes sometimes, when public phones still were kinda private! It's so annoying having to hear other people's useless conversations about whomever they are gossipping! I also don't like being called when I am outdoors, my mobile is actually only for text messages, and my people know this, so they would only call if it's important.

 

[J.P.]

I have a neighbor like that. She sits outside her house and gossips. The whole beeping day long.

Some people make a phone flat rate the worst idea of 21 century. :-(

[T.o.b.y]

:lol: One of my favorite Sherlockisms is "I prefer to text". I love the text message, I think it's one of the best inventions of the last decades. I'd much rather text people than talk to them on the phone. Thank god my best friend understands this, and so we've been known to have entire two-hour-conversations via text. :D (Also really useful for later "you said soandso" / "no I didn't" arguments).

[Van Buren Supernova]

Some people make a phone flat rate the worst idea of 21 century. :-(

 

My colleague (not even friend) asked me why I didn't call her, she called me every single day to talk about her life (gah!), so according to her I should return the favour. Well, I think she doesn't have flat phone rate.

 

As usual, I didn't know what else to say but what was in my head,"I don't like to talk to people." I didn't mean anything bad, honestly, just being honest, I thought she would understand ( XD I seriously thought it's very legit innocent answer), but she was so speechless (good), I still thought it was fine although the calls stopped (very fine) but apparently she was very mad at me and complained to mutual friend who told me.

 

Ah, moral of the story, the price of honesty is peace.

[J.P.]

... and here comes another T-shirt :D

[Shadow Dweller]

Some people keep talking/asking the same topic/question even after I answered a few times. Possible motive behind the scathing remarks-inducing act?

[Arcadia]

Hoping you will change your answer?

[Van Buren Supernova]

Ice breaker maybe?

I hate small talks, but small talks are better than repeated questions, or questions that both of you know the answers for sure, just because they want to break the ice.

I don't always want that. Leave the ice alone. Ice is gooooood.

[Bluebell]

Today I actually had a lovely afternoon with a new friend. We got to know each other through rabbits (she and her boyfriend also have two lab rabbits that look like my Gandalf...) and noticed we're both film nerds, haha...and the good thing is we live not far from each other so it's easy to just spend an afternoon having a coffee/tea/beer or whatever and chat face to face. Also interesting: she studies psychology, and I have longtime therapy experience, so we always have something to talk about which won't be boring.

[Shadow Dweller]

That's the mystery of it. They know me for years and I've never been a wishy-washy person. Hoping me to change my mind without additional information is futile. Unless they try to wear my patience down in hope that I will say 'yes', on which case I'd say that they must cure themselves out of that daft idea because time after time it had been proved that when my patience is lost so does the self-control that hold my tongue back from eviscerating the moron on the spot (I hate nagging). The imminent explosion usually begin with, "How many time I need to repeat myself...."

 

Lord, hope that's not a pathetic attempt of an ice breaker because all it would accomplish is to turn that 'ice breaker' toward themselves after tip sharpened then multiplied many times.

[Van Buren Supernova]

Lord, hope that's not a pathetic attempt of an ice breaker because all it would accomplish is to turn that 'ice breaker' toward themselves after tip sharpened then multiplied many times.

Hmmmmm.... the wonder of ice pick, gold old 'defence" weapon.

 

Introverts, wait, any normal people nightmare:

Canteen, cafetaria or other similar place. Many empty seats, plethora of empty seats, and someone choose to sit next to you and start converstations.

[J.P.]

Nobody tends to seat near me, when they have other option

[Arcadia]

Awwwk-ward!!!!

 

I arrived at a movie late once, groped my way to a seat in the dark ... when the lights came on after it was over, I discovered I'd seated myself next to the only other people in the theater. Embarrassment! I mumbled some sort of apology and got out of there as fast as I could....

[Shadow Dweller]

As long as you didn't grope the other person (:p), you may sit on any empty seat. :lol:

[Van Buren Supernova]

Nobody tends to seat near me, when they have other option

People told me my face looks deceivingly friendly and tame, for the first 30 seconds.

I always enjoy their realization afterwards. :P

 

 

Awwwk-ward!!!!

 

I arrived at a movie late once, groped my way to a seat in the dark ... when the lights came on after it was over, I discovered I'd seated myself next to the only other people in the theater. Embarrassment! I mumbled some sort of apology and got out of there as fast as I could....

Errr...wait, I have two very urgent, important questions:

1. Which crappy movie is that that the theatre only have two audiences? :P

2. What made you so captivated by that crappy movie that you didn't realize that the theatre was empty? XD

 

 

 

 

As long as you didn't grope the other person ( :P), you may sit on any empty seat. :lol:

Well, if she did that, this story would not fit in this thread.

*cough* Irene Adler lounge maybe? *cough*

[Bluebell]

Awwwk-ward!!!!

 

I arrived at a movie late once, groped my way to a seat in the dark ... when the lights came on after it was over, I discovered I'd seated myself next to the only other people in the theater. Embarrassment! I mumbled some sort of apology and got out of there as fast as I could....

 

 

I mostly arrive too early at the theatres, and I am always pissy about people who come too late. Mostly because I am seating myself anywhere I like and not what the ticket is saying, and actually then people come and complain I am occupying their seat, while the film is on like 10 minutes already!!

 

Or they have to look for their seat in the dark and do it right in my line of sight to the screen, while the film or a trailer i'd like to see is already on...

[Arcadia]

As long as you didn't grope the other person ( :P), you may sit on any empty seat. :lol:

 

Errr...wait, I have two very urgent, important questions:

1. Which crappy movie is that that the theatre only have two audiences? :P

I don't remember. But I do remember that it was summer, and probably a movie that had been out for awhile. And a matinee during the week, which usually have lower attendance anyway (which is why that's when I prefer to go....)

 

2. What made you so captivated by that crappy movie that you didn't realize that the theatre was empty? XD

I have asked myself that very question many times.

 

I mostly arrive too early at the theatres, and I am always pissy about people who come too late. Mostly because I am seating myself anywhere I like and not what the ticket is saying, and actually then people come and complain I am occupying their seat, while the film is on like 10 minutes already!!

Or they have to look for their seat in the dark and do it right in my line of sight to the screen, while the film or a trailer i'd like to see is already on...

You have assigned seats in your movie theatres? Interesting. I think I've only seen that one time over here, and that's because it was a showing of BC's Frankenstein. That could be convenient when the theatre is packed....

[Van Buren Supernova]

You have assigned seats in your movie theatres? Interesting. I think I've only seen that one time over here, and that's because it was a showing of BC's Frankenstein. That could be convenient when the theatre is packed....

Oi, actually I have never been to theaters that don't have seat assignments before. In fact, I didn't know free-seating exists until I watched an episode of Seinfeld long long time ago, and thought it was back then.

So you mean, anyone can sit anywhere? Wouldn't it be chaotic and you have to waste time reserving your seats by arriving way to early, especially popular shows?

[Arcadia]

Yep, you can sit anywhere -- that's not already occupied. And yes, you have to arrive early for popular shows if you want a good seat ... or wait a few days until the crowds thin a bit. I guess it could be chaotic, but we're used to it, so it isn't. And I suppose you could think of it as wasting time, but since going to the movies is basically a waste of time anyway, who cares? :D