Jump to content
Van Buren Supernova

Introverts, how is your day?

Recommended Posts

Because apperently most of us here are introverts, but extroverts can contribute too, feel free to make fun of each side, in good spirit of course,

so...

 

I was in the elevator with these two ladies, they didn't know each other but managed to have good conversations a couple of floor up (!).

 

When one alighted, the other one turned to me and started asking questions. She noticed that I was going to one floor above her and asked whether I know the source of noise of this and that in my floor. I told her I couldn't speak her language, well, I was being honest anyway, although I understood what she was talking about. At this point we had arrived at her floor, 8th, she was pushing some sort of shopping cart, so... she went out half way, turned 180 degree and placed her cart in the middle of elevator's door. Apparently she speaks English too, so she asked me about-languages-where-I-came-from-what-I-do-that-my face-looks-like.. blah blah, all these while the elevator's door was opening and closing around her cart. I was so unprepared that I dumbfoundedly kept pressing the close button.

 

Hey lady, this is public elevator, I don't know you and I don't give a vibe that I'm interested to change that...

 

The exact same day, I was checking for defects on this unique funny looking girly fabric wallet I wanted to buy for my friend. It has very long strings you should wrap around etc etc. I had noticed that the shop assistant had been eyeing me for a while, I didn't want questions and didn't need help so really wanted to pick one fast but I was too late. She approached me, standing beside, arm pressing to mine, too-close-freaking-space-invader-stranger-yuck-argh-nooo and asked me, of all things a shop assistant could ask, "Can you teach me how to tie that? I have always wanted to know."

For me, this doesn't make sense on many levels.

Yah, maybe she was bored, but I was not. And space out!

 

"I'm not sure, I thought you should know. Oh I'm getting this one." And headed to cashier.

 

P.S. I thought I should put warning that most from me would sound like rants.

 

So, how is your day?

Have your introversion ever seemed anti-social or have you found extroverts really difficult to understand sometimes?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG. Nightmare! Yet another reason for me to not take elevators!!!

 

Let's see ... I think my introversion mostly shows up in large groups. The more extravagant the occasion, the worse it is for me. I'm afraid I actually walked out of my niece's bat mitzvah because I found it so overwhelming. Ditto my nephew's wedding. Not during the ceremonies, but afterwards, when everyone was supposed to be meeting and greeting and dancing. Ughh. Sheer torture!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mm I don't know exactly how to define me: if introvert or extrovert. Sure that I don't like to give confidence to strangers and I admit I feel a bit at desease when they come and start to talk a lot to me and ONLY to me. But when I'm with good friends or people that make me feel good, I'm expansive and also a bit messy.

As you, Van Buren, I hate when I enter a shop and immediately shop assistants arrive and start to make a lot of questions when I'm only having a look around.

But if someone starts a pleasant conversation, without making a lot of questions, only just to talk, maybe on the train or on the bus, I join gladly the conversation, which is also a good occasion to make new friends :)

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Used to dismiss chatty shop assistants in the first two minutes they begin to talk. I thank them then just say that I have not yet decided what I need and I will call them when I need help. That usually get rid of them quickly or at least they will keep some distance from me (I really will search for that particular shop assistant when I need help, s/he is the first to approach me and the commission should go to them). Have no hesitance to express my need of silence in order to make decision which one to buy. Still insisting to chatter away in my close proximity (never happen so far)? I will lodge a complain to the store manager.

 

People rarely try to chat me up in public place (no, I am not scowling or putting a death glare on my face). But if they do, I will respond with courtesy. Being in a public place means I am ready to face all the chaotic mess that might come from our fellows. Migraine or not feeling well? Try to find me in a quiet place but please keep your peace else you will find out the painful way one of the reasons why I secluded myself at those times. :lol:

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As to how my day is actually going .... why do you think I'm self-employed? :D I'm sitting in my nice quiet studio, being not bothered by anything except that damned, pesky telephone ... which I wouldn't even answer except that if I don't, my hard-of-hearing mother does. And so far today it hasn't rung ... which means it will any minute now, but otherwise, my day's not bad at all.
 
springsmile.gif

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My day? Crowded, as usual.

 

"No, thank you, I'm just looking" was the first German sentence I learned :P. Those approaching shop assistants are much more scary if you are not used to them and don't understand a word, except the opening line: "Can I help you?"

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:lol: I actually try to hide from shop assistants. When they approach, I duck behind whatever shelves are closest. If it's a clothing store, I usually grab a pile of random things and rush to the changing room.

 

I have to make conversation so often at work though that I have gotten pretty good at it. People do not usually realize these days that I am shy, which I guess makes my behavior look even more weird - or just plain rude.

 

I don't actually mind engaging with strangers so much as find it exhausting. I need to be alone every so often to just recharge my batteries.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I avoid shops that have shop assistants. I mean those who jump on you as soon as you enter the shop.

Like, theres this one shop I really find lovely, but I avoid going in and rather buy stuff online because I know as soon as one of the shop assistants comes to me I want to bite their head off, haha....

 

I am not a big fan of malls and unpersonal shops either, but blessed be department stores and supermarkets where you're mostly on your own since the shop assistants have too much to do to help you anyway. ;P - it has its advantages living in a big city, but then there is tourists :evil: ....I don't mind if someone asks me for the way to whatever sight or anything - no problem, but if there is groups...arrrrgh! They always stand in the way, looking around with the cameras, leave their dirt everywhere, are loud and really annoying.

I mean, I live in an area with lovely multicultural people here, and it's no problem. Some of them are yet not used to environmental-friendly living and all (yes, I know in other countries people for example don't pay deposit for their beer bottles and stuff, thus throw their stuff anywhere in the bins (or not, the poor people are happy to collect the abandoned bottles in the streets, because it's money...it's just funny when you're an environmental-friendly Berliner standing in a Manchester supermarket and wondering where the deposit boxes for the bottles are  :lol: ...), but in general it's cool. But the tourists often are a pest!

 

Basically, my day was okay, I was shopping and not being annoyed by shop assistants but loud tourists in the metro...then I finally cleaned my carpets off rabbit hair :D , which was due for ages already...so, relaxing now with the long eared friends, who are not that chatty. :wub:

 

One thing I do when being in stores or whatever, is talking to myself sometimes, just to reassure myself or something, don't know, it's bit of a habit even when I am not alone. It's not like anyone would care anyway, especially not since the age of the smart-whatever-phone-headset-age, where everyone seems to babble with themselves on the street, haha...

 

(Edit: For some reason now the scene with John Watson and the chip and pin machine pops into my head :lol2: ...that's so me sometimes! :lol: )

 

Don't really know if I am ex-or introvert though. I am like those who sometimes are extrovert when around people who make them feel comfortable, and rather introvert when not. Really depends, also on my moods...and it's the same with me, I so need often time to recharge my batteries, being on my own with my pets, it's just the best! I always say I would like to live somewhere in the woods, but it should have connection to the city.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A lonely island. But with medical care available. :P

I can hardly imagine that people have problems with staying silent. I can stay silent for weeks. I never had problems to stay alone for several days even before internet era.

 

My additional problem is that I am easily overwhelmed by sensory input, no matter what causes it. Especially by noise, loud music that is exciting for others, causes physical pain to me. I hear better than most people at my age, especially high frequencies. Can you imagine the looks I earned searching the office for a source of high piercing tone that nobody else could hear?

 

Anyway, I'm definitive introvert. But in nice environment, with a topic I find interesting, I can turn into a chatterbox in split second.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am weird with music. Some of my favorite pieces / songs are really powerful, and in the right mood, driving my car on the highway, I love to turn them up really loud and shout along. Other times (most times), I find noise really irritating - and I can never stand the sound volume they have at bars and clubs or fun fairs, which is one of the many reasons why I avoid those places.

 

My husband loves to have music playing in the background, the type of music that you find in movie or game soundtracks, and it drives me up the wall, poor man. When I come into the room, my first sentence is often "can you please turn that off?" Then he'll lower the volume, and I'll be like "no, off! OFF!" (I have no idea why he puts up with me :P). 

 

I do love to talk, though. It only depends on with whom, about what and when and where. What I really cannot stand is when I'm busy doing stuff inside my mind and somebody wants to start a conversation. I get intensely annoyed, to the outside world for absolutely no reason, since to them, I was "just sitting there doing nothing". Thanks to Sherlock, however, I can now just tell my family "do not disturb, am inside mind palace, will surface eventually." :lol: The character really has helped my mom understand me, I think. She doesn't love the series, but she likes detective shows, and she's seen the first 5 episodes. I just pointed to him and went: "there. that. me. sometimes. got it?" And I think she did. :D

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unwanted background music annoys the hell out of me. Even if it's actually hardly audible. When it's just something I have no control over and it has no use (like people at work) I could kill...

 

Anyway, I learned to survive crowded and noisy environments by using filtering ear plugs.

But still I need a good reason for exposing myself to crowds. Well, I survived Sherlocked :)

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it depends on the crowd. For example, I was at a Pete Seeger concert once (yeah, he was fairly old at that point, but a very impressive presence nontheless) and I loved it in part because of the specific crowd that was there and the atmosphere they created. Or some movie audiences are great (I think I rated the last Hobbit film much higher than it deserved simply because of the crowd at the movie theater).

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Me in a new environment means either I clam up silent or I dominate the conversation accidentally. Both are nervous habits.

 

My day: mostly uneventful. My business has not generated any income yet. My parents have been paying my bills and my dad wants me to get a job. The ones I qualify for best are customer service jobs that drain me terribly. The jobs that interest me the most I barely if at all qualify for as it would be a new field not completely matching my degrees.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@shop assistants, saying just browsing sometimes doesn't work but it's worth trying.

I'm terrified with hair saloon as well. Now I'm staying in a place where you can get full service with very good price but I choose to cut my hair only when I'm back home, in those express hair cut, that only takes 10 minutes sitting in a box (where most patrons are normally men) just because I hate chatty hair stylists, either they are just chatty, want to promote their products or comments about my unusual natural hair color or anything they can comment on.

 

@annoying sounds

Back in uni, I had to stay back during holiday. Everyone was home, or went back to their home town. It was quite a big hostel, and yes, one or two students forgot to turn off their daily alarm clocks. It rang twice a day and drove me nuts because I couldn't access the source.

 

I realize as well that I could be very chatty with right person on right topic. In fact, sometimes I also initiate hang out with close circle of friends and look like a center of the group. I keep it quite infrequent though because it takes a while to recharge.

 

Back then, when I couldn't really make my friends understand why I didn't want to hang out because there are people I don't know well or too many people, I normally said,"because I'm shy." I didn't feel it's the right word but also not sure how else I could explain my self, because they would protest,"No! I don't think you are shy."

My next best answer was I hate people. I hate strangers which didn't sit well, sometimes it couldn't be settled briefly and concluded as anti social, which maybe I am, and I don't mind.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I identify with everything every one of you has said. Which leads me to wonder ... since I've always heard that introverts are in the minority in the overall population, why are we such a large majority on this forum? Do extroverts not relate to Sherlock? Or are they just too busy interacting with real people to bother typing words into a box? :p

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Always thought introvert-extrovert is 50-50, but I'm not sure.

 

I think I read somewhere before than forumers are indeed majority introverts. Yes, extroverts enjoy interacting with real people like you said, I guess there is a certain comfort about interacting in forum for introverts. For me, we don't need a lot of small talks or social necessities, I could be here any time I want and retreat anytime I don't want to, that is a big plus, and it's interesting to talk about specific passion that is shared with others. 

 

Anyway, another reason why introverts are found in forum, imho; introverts enjoy discussing something in depth more than extroverts.

 

I could get a flak for this, so I declare this is just my observation from limited amount of samples.

I have couple of extrovert acquaintances and I always notice the way they interact in a group, like meals. Everytime introverts discuss something in depth, say a movie, news or something else, extroverts would space out even though they started the conversation, or even when we were discussing a way to help someone in a group, something more personal that involved one of the people.

In fact, when the topics are moved away from  about them, that is the point they lose interest.

 

I could be wrong, but it happens every single time, especially when I started to notice and observe more.

Again, that is merely observation.

 

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The advantage of forums is that you can discuss things with people without being social. :D

BTW, as soon as the actual in depth discussions in a forum die out and the topics slide into everyday life things, I get bored very soon. That's why I never understood the social about social media. Or personal websites of Hello-I-am-online-too kind. To invest time and energy I always needed something interesting (at least to me) and far beyond describing what I had for breakfast.

 

I don't know about the amount of introverts, but they are surely harder to find. lurk.gif

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Y1FcIiX.jpg

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I notice there seems to be a poster of Shezza on the wall of that bedroom. Yours, Martina? XD
 
I've heard different things about the number of introverts vs extroverts. When I went through the Myers-Briggs training at my old workplace, about 1 in 10 of us were introverts (which goes a long way to explaining why I don't work there anymore.... :smile: ) and I remember the MB staff saying that was not an uncommon occurrence.
 
However, I just looked it up and saw a couple of places mention that about 25% of the population were introverts, and another that narrowed it down to just the US population. And I remember reading before that other countries, especially in Asia, tend to have higher percentages of introverts.
 
But I also just ran across a blog that claims to quote Myers-Briggs as saying the introvert/extrovert population is split about 50/50. So ... your guess is as good as mine!
 
I do know when I was growing up there was intense pressure on me to be "sociable" and do what all the other teenage girls seemed to be doing ... going to parties, dressing up, dating, talking about clothes, hairstyles and boys ... I mean, a lot of pressure, from my teachers especially and also to some degree from my mom, and especially my older sister. When I reached my twenties even my socially inept sister-in-law started trying to hook me up with various groups of people! Hell, when I reached my thirties I had a boss who insisted I go to each and every staff party. They all seemed so worried that I didn't have enough social interaction. Yet at all those times, I always had one or two good friends who I did fun things with, like going to movies and hiking. I've never understood why that wasn't enough, why I had to have a crowd around me in order to be "happy" or "well-adjusted".
 
Fortunately for me, several other teachers and especially my Dad thought I was fine just the way I was, and supported me when I refused to be "out-going." Otherwise I think I would have been a lot more miserable than I was at that age. And as I've gotten older I've learned to compensate; as I think I mentioned before, several of my current friends refuse to believe I'm actually an introvert. But I am, I just hide it better than I used to; primarily because it keeps other people off my back. :P

 

At any rate, what I was working around to was ... is there still that kind of pressure for teenagers to be "sociable", does anyone know? Or has it become more acceptable to be introverted at that age? Or was my experience unusual? Just curious.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got this pressure even from therapists. One of them was convinced I had a social phobia.

It somehow convinced me that I should try to be more outgoing. Which of course didn't work.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh yes, therapy. I had therapy suggested to me a couple of times, but like I said, I had enough people around me who assured me I was okay that I didn't take it to heart too much. But what an awful thing we do, to try to force people to fit certain molds. That's why I'm wondering if we've learned anything yet. Or has this whole thing with school shootings and ISIS and all the other craziness made society even more determined to pressure kids to be "normal"?

 

In defense of therapy; in can be good if you can find the right person, I think. I went when I started having severe, disabling anxiety, and it saved my life as far as I'm concerned. But the first person I went to, she was all about re-arranging my entire personality. I ditched her immediately and found someone else who simply helped me cope with the anxiety, instead of trying to "fix" me. But yeah, that first lady ... she was a menace. I'm glad I was older before I saw her, when I had the confidence to simply walk away from her. If I'd seen her when I was younger she could have really messed me up.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Severe, disabling anxiety. The only thing that seemed to work for me was a cocktail of pills. Still is.

When it comes to psychological/psychiatric care, we are a third world country. Waiting times for a long time therapy were like 9 month last time I asked. So people are not that picky. And - unfortunately - your therapist should be smarter than you, or at least make such an impression. Well, I saw 3 such ones, sadly didn't "get" them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Arcadia: The pressure for teenager to be 'more sociable' is still largely the same, worse if you are surrounded by ignorant extroverts day in and day out.

 

What I doesn't like is to go into a place where there is too loud noises, too bright light (especially sunlight / yellow ones), mixed scents (human's especially). Exposure to that kind of environment will quickly lower my bar of patience and self-restraint. Say hello to irritated me who quite possibly a second away from getting rid the source of irritants by any means possible.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Severe, disabling anxiety. The only thing that seemed to work for me was a cocktail of pills. Still is.

When it comes to psychological/psychiatric care, we are a third world country. Waiting times for a long time therapy were like 9 month last time I asked. So people are not that picky. And - unfortunately - your therapist should be smarter than you, or at least make such an impression. Well, I saw 3 such ones, sadly didn't "get" them.

Oh, my therapist wasn't smarter than me, I don't think (ooog, that's sounds horribly like bragging, I don't mean it that way) -- but she sure as heck knew a lot more than I did. Although maybe that's what you mean by smarter.

 

To be honest, I lucked out, I had a pretty good health plan at the time and the therapist just happened to have an opening. If it happened now, I'd really be in a pickle. But in general, getting good mental health care is tough, especially if you're not among the wealthy.

 

Medication was the ultimate solution for me too, but those few months before they finally did the job .... ow. They were rough. The crazy stuff your brain can do to you! Don't think I would have survived it without the therapy. And all it was, really, was different relaxation techniques.

 

@Arcadia: The pressure for teenager to be 'more sociable' is still largely the same, worse if you are surrounded by ignorant extroverts day in and day out.

 

What I doesn't like is to go into a place where there is too loud noises, too bright light (especially sunlight / yellow ones), mixed scents (human's especially). Exposure to that kind of environment will quickly lower my bar of patience and self-restraint. Say hello to irritated me who quite possibly a second away from getting rid the source of irritants by any means possible.

Are you sure you don't need therapy? :lol5:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Who's Online   0 Members, 0 Anonymous, 41 Guests (See full list)

    There are no registered users currently online

×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of UseWe have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.Privacy PolicyGuidelines.