Introverts, how is your day?

[Van Buren Supernova]

Last time I said this I got bitched at for apparently being a vile person, but I really wish I could get away with being as rude and blunt as Sherlock.

 

....

 

I felt like throwing my hands up, channelling Sherlock and snapping 'yes, alright, everyone's said hello, lovely, now get out of the bloody way.'

I feel the same.

People around me seem very friendly and nice, which I appreciate but at the same time exhausting to return the friendliness every time.

For those with high chance of encounter like office colleague, the formula for me is good morning at the start and subsequently just a nod or quick smile the more we meet throughout the day.

 

Lately I had influenced a regular consultant (from UK :p) to change his greeting from good to shitty (insert morning/afternoon/evening) because I refused to acknowledge that our morning was good XD.

 

He uses it religiously until he called me on weekend and used regular Good Morning, unlike my usual shitty morning, what do you want from me? I replied Good Morning indeed, it's Saturday! I had good morning until you called!. However he already guessed that I'd say that.

 

 

Also just got moaned at for daring to use two heaters in the office. Bearing in mind that my brother, who I would rather just refer to as the boss since we don't get on that well, spends his days sitting in his house on the sofa with his laptop where it's actually warm, where as my office is across the garden in a converted garage. Arsehole.

 

Poor you. Does thermal inner layer help you for a tiny bit? Or ginger tea? I can't imagine working with frozen fingers. The temperature inside should be comfortable for you to work.

[Pseudonym]

I've got a thermal layer on. Today is not too bad, it's fairly mild, but his attitude today lets me know there's going to be arguments ahead once it gets properly cold. 

 

Ha, yes, definitely morning without the 'good' on a work day!

[Artemis]

Last time I said this I got bitched at for apparently being a vile person, but I really wish I could get away with being as rude and blunt as Sherlock.

^ Ditto.

[Pseudonym]

I'm torn, there's a meetup on Monday doing beginner's salsa. I like dancing, through salsa is not my favourite, but there's only one person going so far - the guy who organised it, who I've seen but never spoken to. I don't know whether to go or not, part of me wants to, part of me cringes at the thought.

[T.o.b.y]

 

Last time I said this I got bitched at for apparently being a vile person, but I really wish I could get away with being as rude and blunt as Sherlock.

^ Ditto.

Oh, me too sometimes! Definitely!

 

Pseudonym, that's a tough call. I can easily see how a one-on-one session could be awkward but on the other hand, a chance to go dancing... Are you sure you would be the only people going?

[Carol the Dabbler]

I agree with Tobe -- give it a chance!  Worst that could happen is that only the two of you show up and you don't even like the guy -- in which case you don't have to go back again.

 

Added:  In fact, if it's really unbearable, you could always "twist" your ankle and need to go home.

 

Added:  Better make that your *left* ankle, so he doesn't offer to drive you home.  Or would that be *right* ankle in the UK?  The one that you don't need when driving, in any case.  (And if your car has a clutch pedal, just don't tell the guy!)

[Pseudonym]

If you twist either ankle you're screwed, since left does the clutch and right does the brake and accelerator. It's a thought though if things get really awkward!

 

I don't know, I'm still torn about what to do. When I'm in a good energised mood I think yes, then when I'm in a more subdued mood, like now, I think no. 

 

Just came back from town, went to see Joseph and The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat in the theatre. The song 'Close Every Door' was amazing (goosebumps), but the others were all a bit wacky for my tastes. I like (and already knew) the songs, but one was country, one was Parisian, one was south American carnival, the pharaoh was Elvis... I know that's how it's written but it was a bit OTT. It's set in Egypt, keep it in Egypt. 

 

Heh, was funny too that the guy who played Joseph sang all the songs with an RP accent, as they should be, but actually has a pretty strong Geordie accent (think a stronger version of Stamford), so when he spoke at the end it was completely different. :D

 

Also it's driving me nuts - is there a musical that uses 'Let My People Go'? I've searched all the likely suspects. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

There are several movies where the song is sung (or parodied).

 

There are also a couple of movies with "Let My People Go" as a title (or approximate title).

 

As for your dance-class dilemma -- hey, so let the guy think your car has an automatic transmission!  (Is that unusual over there?)

[Pseudonym]

Yea it's unusual, I don't know anyone with an automatic. It's a moot point anyway, I'll likely be getting a taxi if I do go - car means not being able to drink and the classes are in a bar.

[Carol the Dabbler]

These days, it's unusual to find a clutch pedal over here, except, I think, for some sports-type cars.  In fact, I think it's been that way for quite a while.  Used to be some foreign cars (e.g., the VW beetle) had stick shifts, but even the beetle ain't the beetle anymore.

 

 

Just came back from town, went to see Joseph and The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat in the theatre. The song 'Close Every Door' was amazing (goosebumps), but the others were all a bit wacky for my tastes. I like (and already knew) the songs, but one was country, one was Parisian, one was south American carnival, the pharaoh was Elvis... I know that's how it's written but it was a bit OTT. It's set in Egypt, keep it in Egypt. 

 

Heh, was funny too that the guy who played Joseph sang all the songs with an RP accent, as they should be, but actually has a pretty strong Geordie accent (think a stronger version of Stamford), so when he spoke at the end it was completely different. :D

 

I always thought Stamford sounded sort of Scottish, and after looking up "Geordie" I know why -- he's apparently from Newcastle, which is about as far north as you can get and still be in England.

 

In my opinion, an actor in a musical should use the same accent when singing as when speaking.  Otherwise, as you say, it sounds kinda funny.  Either accent would do -- just pick one!!

 

Over here, most serious singers seem to use some sort of fancy accent -- mostly operatic Italian, I think, with perhaps some RP here and there.  If they're in an Italian opera or a Sherlock Holmes musical, that makes perfect sense of course.  But some of them get kinda carried away.

 

For example, before the Indy 500 race, a celebrity singer performs "Back Home Again in Indiana."  It used to be a different person just about every year, but then for a long while it was always Jim Nabors (who really does have a good voice, despite having played Gomer Pyle), which would have been fine with me except for two things:  He always made a few minor changes to the lyrics (apparently on purpose, because he was consistent), which strikes me as disrespectful.^*   And (at least for the first year or two) he pronounced the name of the state as "In-dee-ah-nah," which is just downright silly.

 

 

^*  Here are some guys who know how it's supposed to go!

[Artemis]

Joseph is probably my favorite Bible story. It's so drama-rich, I wonder it's not rendered into cinema more often. Meanwhile there are so many renderings of Moses... probably 'cause the filmmakers want their shot at the parting of the Red Sea.

 

Also it's driving me nuts - is there a musical that uses 'Let My People Go'? I've searched all the likely suspects.

The animated musical "Prince of Egypt" has a song of that title or lyrics.

 

[Pseudonym]

I would normally agree with you about singing in your own accent, but the problem is that since most of the story is told through song, and he has a very strong accent there is no way it would be clear enough to understand what he's actually saying unless you have the same accent. 

 

Ah yes, I think that might be the song I was thinking of. I looked up the songs on Wikipedia but since it wasn't actually called Let My People Go I discounted it. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

I would normally agree with you about singing in your own accent, but the problem is that since most of the story is told through song, and he has a very strong accent there is no way it would be clear enough to understand what he's actually saying unless you have the same accent.

 

Then he should have spoken in his singing accent.

[Pseudonym]

He only spoke at the end when the show was over and he was shouting out people's names to come take a bow and asking if the audience had enjoyed themselves. So he was out of character then.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Ah.

[Pseudonym]

Well, I signed up to the dance class tonight. Trying not to freak out...

[Pseudonym]

I'm going out on Friday with my friend who split up with her wife for a drink and a chat, the only problem is she's made moves on me before (a couple of times) even though I've said I'm not interested. I don't mind being a shoulder to cry on but I really hope it doesn't turn into anything more.

 

Anyone have any suggestions of a good way of turning down someone who's possibly drunk and upset?

[T.o.b.y]

I'm going out on Friday with my friend who split up with her wife for a drink and a chat, the only problem is she's made moves on me before (a couple of times) even though I've said I'm not interested. I don't mind being a shoulder to cry on but I really hope it doesn't turn into anything more.

 

Anyone have any suggestions of a good way of turning down someone who's possibly drunk and upset?

Depending on how blatant the advances are, I think you could try to ignore them as long as possible and just pretend not to catch on. Try to steer the conversation away from you and back to her, her feelings and plans. If she asks you out directly, just say no thanks.

[Pseudonym]

I'm more worried about a potential drunken lunge than being asked out. Ah well, play it by ear I guess and scarper if it gets a bit much. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

Go to a place that also serves food, and order a bunch of nibblies in hopes that she'll nibble on 'em -- or offer to treat her to an actual dinner -- thereby cushioning the effect of the alcohol somewhat.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Oh, and don't sit at a table where there's a nice padded bench.  Make sure the two of you have to sit on opposite sides of the table -- better for actual conversation, less conducive to lunges.  And don't go in the same car.  If she's too sloshed to drive safely afterward, call for a cab and pay the driver (hopefully a man!) yourself.

 

And if she starts to maneuver toward you, then you maneuver, promptly but calmly, in the opposite direction.

 

Added:  Is her name perchance Harriet?

[T.o.b.y]

Also want to add that I don't think any degree of friendship obligates you to stay in a situation that makes you seriously uncomfortable. You have every right to stand up and leave at any time as long as you don't abandon her drunk and helpless in some bushes.

 

Heartache is terrible, but it's no excuse to molest someone or to get so drunk you lose control over your actions and then molest someone. You wouldn't accept that kind of behavior from a guy (I hope) and you shouldn't from a woman either.

 

So in a nutshell, my advice is to decide in advance what you would find harmless enough to just ignore or mildly fend off and where you draw the line on that. Then don't be afraid to act accordingly when the time comes.

[Pseudonym]

She's not usually like that, it's usually more "I think your beautiful etc" (I'm not), I'm just concerned the wife leaving might amplify things. 

 

I'm probably just being paranoid, but I did firmly shoot down the idea of staying in with a bottle of wine and watching a film together. That sounded a bit too cosy. 

[T.o.b.y]

I suppose since she mostly does it when she is drunk, there wouldn't be much use in talking to her and letting her know how her advances are making you uncomfortable?

 

You could of course ask for an evening with little to no alcohol, but it sounded as if drinking was part of the plan, so I guess that wouldn't be very helpful either.

 

So I guess what you're left with is not taking anything personally, ignore, deflect and forget and knowing beforehand what your boundaries are and having an escape plan in case they are crossed.

[Pseudonym]

Oh I'm fully aware she likes me when she's sober too, it's not just a drunk thing, but since I'm also sober then it's easier to see things coming and make a getaway. She knows nothing is ever going to happen, I've told her before. There have been times I've decided to accidentally/deliberately drift away, but she really needs someone at the moment. 

 

We're going to a restaurant/bar between our two houses at first, so I'll suss out the way the evening is going from there are be 'so exhausted I need to go get some sleep' if it's starting to go south. Not really a lie, that's pretty much my permanent state, lol.