Shoot the Wall (A.K.A. The Rant Thread)

[Pseudonym]

Let's see. The glasses incident happened to my friend not me.

 

P*ssing someone off is the same as you describe.

 

We don't use fanny pack in any context, over here that pouch is a bumbag. 

 

Yup 'up the duff' is pregnant. 

 

I don't think a huge amount of Americanisms are much of a mystery in the UK just because of the sheer amount of American TV broadcast here. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

I've given up trying to make sense of "take the piss," so I just interpret it by context. I agree with Hikari regarding what it sounds like.

 

An American hearing "bum bag" would probably think it meant a bindle, one of those bundles or bags carried by hobos (AKA bums), though the word "bum" meaning "buttocks" is somewhat familiar over here due to the Beatles' use of it. Agree with Hikari regarding "fanny" -- my mother only started using the word "butt" when her memory started to go, but she's always said "fanny" with perfect ease. Fairly decorous synonyms would include "bottom," "hind end," "hiney," and "backside" -- but "butt" (slightly less respectable) is probably the most common .

[Artemis]

Possibly, I do flail and yell in my sleep a lot.

 

Why's that, Pseud?  Do you often have nightmares?

 

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

After I got punched in the face by an airbag.....

Why nobody asked for this story?????

Do tell! XD

[Carol the Dabbler]

Was that a request-type "do tell" or just an exclamation?

 

(I ain't falling for that old trick again!)

[Van Buren Supernova]

It's real. A question. I'm curious.

 

The last time was not a trick as well, although it was a phrase and not a question, but I really enjoyed the explanation.

It's Arcadia. She was the one who made fun of you back then. Blame her.

[Carol the Dabbler]

OK, I'll blame Arcadia.  :D

 

Our innocent little '99 Honda had been minding its own business when it suddenly got slammed into by a Cadillac SUV.  (Hey, Caddy -- go pick on someone your own size!)  Luckily neither car was going very fast. maybe 30 mph (50 kph?) apiece, and our brave little Honda took good care of Alex and me with its seat belts and air bags.  Our mechanic told us that cars of that era, when airbags were a new thing, had *much* stronger, faster inflation -- BOOM!!! -- than more recent models.  So my face looked like it had been sand-blasted (or maybe I looked like a dermabrasion patient right after the procedure).  It was oozing blood, especially on my cheeks and forehead, and took quite a while to heal completely.  But it was all superficial, except for my nose -- the cartilage got knocked loose from the bone, and I don't think it'll ever reattach.  It doesn't look any different, but when I wrinkle my nose, I can sometimes feel it sort of pop out of place.

 

Because Alex had been driving, he had a much smaller airbag, and his only injuries were some strains from the shoulder harness.

 

Because the car was no longer drivable, we had the ambulance take us to the emergency room, just to make sure I didn't have any cracked ribs or head injuries.  Then I called my brother to come pick us up, and the first thing I said to him on the phone was "It's not as bad as it looks."  He was puzzled, but when he saw me, he said "I see what you mean."

 

And like I said, it was kinda fun scaring people for the next couple of weeks!

 

Not sure exactly what your question was -- does that cover it?

[Van Buren Supernova]

OK, I'll blame Arcadia.  :D

Obviously. Yes. Always.

 

 

Yes that covers it. Doesn't sound like fun experience but must be quite fun to see other's reactions to it. Did anyone shooting Alex questionable look then? In case they suspect there is some domestic.

 

I got pretty bad subconjunctival hemorrhage as result from food poisoning and it was quite fun for two weeks as those eyes looks bloody scary. No pun intended. No one wanted to look at me, and I enjoyed that at work.

[Pseudonym]

When I had both of my lips split I hid in the house for days, and when I did venture out got a LOT of curious looks. 

 

 

Possibly, I do flail and yell in my sleep a lot.

 

Why's that, Pseud?  Do you often have nightmares?

 

 

No not really I just seem to have very vivid dreams. Last week I dreamt I was Daenerys Targaryen and spent the night riding around on a dragon, I think there was a lot of flailing then. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

Did anyone shooting Alex questionable look then? In case they suspect there is some domestic.

 

I don't recall any "looks" then, no. Dunno what he could have done to give that effect anyhow -- attack my face with sandpaper? Seems like there was one other time I was worried that people would think he had hit me, but can't think right now what it was.

 

I just seem to have very vivid dreams. Last week I dreamt I was Daenerys Targaryen and spent the night riding around on a dragon, I think there was a lot of flailing then.

 

Sounds like my Mom. Even when she wakes up, she still thinks the dream was real, and wonders why she doesn't have whatever she was holding.

[Pseudonym]

I've moaned about it before, and now I shall moan about it again. Customers - If you are ordering something from halfway around the world don't only give the first half of your address as if the sender is in the same town. I'm too busy to be hunting around on google for the rest of your address. 

[Arcadia]

 

OK, I'll blame Arcadia.  :D

Obviously. Yes. Always.

 

What?! Huh? Me?!!? Poke fun?? Never!  

[Pseudonym]

What is it with men asking me to make them a cup of tea? My brother reckons no one ever asks him but the second I step out into the garden I get 'two sugars for me!' 

I'm not even going towards the kettle, I'm WORKING, and I'm not a tea lady. If he wants tea he can a) make it himself or b ) ask my brother who has been standing next to him for half an hour. 

[T.o.b.y]

Next time, use Mrs Hudson's line: "the kettle's over there!"

[SherlockedCAMPer]

You could always add the "I'm not your housekeeper" with that.

[Artemis]

Yeah, definitely not going to let my dogs stay outside without me close by.  Last night/early this morning I heard a loud crashing in the woods, followed by an animal's squeal (sounded like a rabbit maybe), followed 10 or 15 minutes later by a happy, hooting owl.  Pretty sure I was hearing him pick up a fresh kill in the brush.

 

 

[Pseudonym]

Next time, use Mrs Hudson's line: "the kettle's over there!"

 

I have said to a plumber who had been working on the house a while "you know where the kitchen is."

 

I don't mind if I offer but in work I am often, to use a British colloquialism, 'running around like a blue-arsed fly.' When I got it yesterday I had just accidentally dropped a pot of glue, which cracked and spilt everywhere, so my hands were covered in it. So I'm there, covered in glue, slightly shame-faced and sticking my head out of the door to get my brother and own up to my mistake and I get "I'll have two sugars" immediately piped at me. 

 

You could always add the "I'm not your housekeeper" with that.

 

Always fun to sneak in a reference! :D In my old job my friend bet me how many Star Trek Next Gen references I could fit into conversation without my other friend catching on. He was meant to be an unwitting Riker to my Picard, and actually listened to me telling him to "make it so" without batting an eyelid.

 

Yeah, definitely not going to let my dogs stay outside without me close by.  Last night/early this morning I heard a loud crashing in the woods, followed by an animal's squeal (sounded like a rabbit maybe), followed 10 or 15 minutes later by a happy, hooting owl.  Pretty sure I was hearing him pick up a fresh kill in the brush.

 

Oh no! Poor doomed animal. That's my problem with nature programs - I want the fluffy bunny and the owl to all live happily. How many things start getting eaten whilst still alive doesn't bear thinking about, nature is so cruel.  :( Definitely best to guard the doggies. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

I have said to a plumber who had been working on the house a while "you know where the kitchen is."

 

I don't mind if I offer but in work I am often, to use a British colloquialism, 'running around like a blue-arsed fly.' When I got it yesterday I had just accidentally dropped a pot of glue, which cracked and spilt everywhere, so my hands were covered in it. So I'm there, covered in glue, slightly shame-faced and sticking my head out of the door to get my brother and own up to my mistake and I get "I'll have two sugars" immediately piped at me.

 

Had you ever made tea for that particular man before?  Or is there a chance your brother put him up to it, knowing how much you hate that sort of thing?  Or are British men simply more spoilt / oblivious than Americans?

 

Can't think I've ever been asked for tea / coffee in quite that off-handed sort of way.  Maybe because I look like the sort of person who might burn it?

 

[Pseudonym]

Don't know, I seem to get asked a lot so I think they are just spoilt. Maybe it's also because I am small and look quite innocent so people don't realise how scrappy I am until I open my mouth. 

 

He wouldn't have been put up to it, he has done it before. The first time he did it I said something slightly sarcastic and ignored the request, but then felt bad (damn British politeness around tea!) and so did make him one but it was under duress. I don't think I have since, I've always ignored it or looked pointedly at my brother who always seems to be lurking near by at the time. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

Aha!  If you did it once, you're probably doomed for life.  (Kinda like feeding a stray cat, I think.)

 

I don't do coffee or tea myself, so there's rarely any in the house, other than perhaps some stale herbal tea.  That probably helps.  And I make a point of not eating in front of tradesmen (unless they come at an unexpected time and interrupt my lunch), just because I'd feel rude not offering them any.  That probably helps too.

 

I don't mind someone asking for a glass of water, but that's about my limit.  And most tradesmen I've dealt with don't even ask to use the toilet, let alone want to be given refreshments.  I don't have customers, so I have no idea if that'd be different.

[Pseudonym]

No tea?! HORROR!

 

 

 

This bloke is one of my brother's friends but is a handyman so is often about doing something or other. I'm not sure whether to class him as a normal tradesman or not. It's the fact that my brother is usually standing next to him doing b*gger all that really gets me. Ah well. 

[SherlockedCAMPer]

Why have I never noticed how much John seems to be having intestinal issues when he's telling Mrs. Hudson to hold on a moment because of Sherlock in that scene in the gif.

[Artemis]

Why do people lie about other people they don't even know?  On another forum, a complete stranger to me told everyone in private messages that I had caused pain to her entire family, and couldn't be trusted.  Another person told everyone that I had stolen her boyfriend.  Neither of those claims have any semblance of truth, but it managed to destroy my presence on the forum and any potential friendships I might have formed, as she also jumped on new members with this "information".  And it's not the first time; this happens to me a lot.  It's very frustrating, and it hurts my feelings.  There's no reason for it, I've not done anything hurtful to them.  Not even a cross word.

I just don't understand.  :(

 

 

[Carol the Dabbler]

Maybe it has more to do with the people who tend to join those particular forums. I can imagine that bitter, spiteful and/or paranoid people might be attracted to certain interests, for example.

 

Also, some people are very quick to take offense, regardless of the intent. And some people don't seem to understand the difference between simple disagreement and hostility. So it's possible that you unwittingly said something that such people interpreted badly. And of course there are some people who can't just think of someone who offends them as a jerk and let it go at that -- they have to get even.

 

Dare I ask what the intended focus of these forums was?

[Artemis]

That particular forum was (supposedly) intended to be a place for people dealing with loneliness to socialize.  And you're right, it draws all sorts of bitter and paranoid.  I've had terrible experiences there, not just this.  I don't know what I possibly could have said that she could have taken offense to though.  Nearly all of my posts were in pretty innocuous general chat threads, such as "What are you listening to?" and "What are you doing?"  I kept my nose out of arguments and sensitive topics.  It was Battle of the Sexes over there, and things could get really nasty, really quick.  I never had any sort of debate or disagreement with her, even a light one; in fact we never spoke at all.  She was only there for a short period of time, and there was no opportunity for us to interact.  It's like I was just a random target, it's very weird.