Shoot the Wall (A.K.A. The Rant Thread)

[SherlockedCAMPer]

I'm sitting in a podiatrist's office while johnspec has an ingrown toenail taken care of. Life's kind of boring today and I'd rather be doing fun stuff as I get to take my mom to her doctor later.

[Boton]

 

  You are pretty much living the life I wish I had . . .though I have had to accept that I am not going to have the giant literary career I dreamt of in my youth. 

 

 

 

Yeah, it's not bad except when you have burnout and a migraine.  Other than that, the pluses outweigh the negatives.

 

The good thing about writing is that you don't have to stop dreaming about hitting it big until you are dead.  I just released my fifth book.  None of you would recognize any of the titles, but the most recent one is my labor of love and makes me very happy.  And who knows who all might buy it!

[T.o.b.y]

Do you write fiction or non-fiction, Boton?

[Hikari]

 

 

  You are pretty much living the life I wish I had . . .though I have had to accept that I am not going to have the giant literary career I dreamt of in my youth. 

 

 

 

Yeah, it's not bad except when you have burnout and a migraine.  Other than that, the pluses outweigh the negatives.

 

The good thing about writing is that you don't have to stop dreaming about hitting it big until you are dead.  I just released my fifth book.  None of you would recognize any of the titles, but the most recent one is my labor of love and makes me very happy.  And who knows who all might buy it!

 

 

Who indeed.  It would help *me* to potentially buy it if I knew the name you write under.  What kind of books are these?  Do tell.

[Boton]

A couple of them are higher education specific; my most recent is a history.  I will DM you; I'm not embarrassed for my real name to be linked to my pseud on here, but separation of professional and fangirling, and all that.

[Carol the Dabbler]

This is more a question than a rant, but there's an owl that lives in the woods around me.  I can hear it hooting through my wall.  Do you suppose an owl would attempt to pick up a fluffy 3-4 lb. dog?  My other dog is also small, but about 8 lbs., which I hope would look too big to an owl.  I am a teensy bit worried for them though, especially the smaller dog.  I'd love to let them stay outside and sniff to their hearts' content, but I'm afraid something would happen to them if I weren't standing guard.

 

If you have woods, you probably have large owls, and they're capable eating much larger things than mice.  I just looked up the great horned owl, which lives nearly everywhere in North America, including your area, and according to Wikipedia, "Its primary diet is rabbits and hares, rats and mice and voles, although it freely hunts any animal it can overtake, including rodents and other small mammals, larger mid-sized mammals, birds, reptiles, amphibians, and invertebrates."  Cornell says it "can take large prey, including raptors such as Ospreys, Peregrine Falcons, Prairie Falcons, and other owls," and furthermore, "When clenched, a Great Horned Owl’s strong talons require a force of 28 pounds to open."  So lifting a fwuffy little doggie off the ground would be no challenge at all, especially if the owl is hungry.

 

And if you have owls nearby, chances are you also have hawks, eagles, foxes, and/or coyotes.

 

If I were you, I'd keep both dogs indoors except when I had them on leashes and stayed with them.  I know, they'd have great fun running around on their own.  So would our cats, but we have actually seen and/or heard owls, hawks, eagles, foxes, and coyotes right in our neighborhood.  Therefore, our kitties stay indoors -- though we do have an enclosed porch (with real walls and windows, not just screened in) where they can go "out" whenever they want.

[Artemis]

There's a "Sherlock" marathon running on BBC America right now.  First time I've ever watched it with commercial interruption... it doesn't feel right!

 

 

[Artemis]

And if you have owls nearby, chances are you also have hawks, eagles, foxes, and/or coyotes.

 

Thank you for the info Carol!  I have indeed seen all those animals nearby, and I need to remain wary.  I just feel bad, they look so happy out there and so disappointed when they have to come in.  I wish I could give them more outside time.

 

 

[Carol the Dabbler]

We've never had dogs, so I'm sorry, but I don't offhand have any suggestions other than taking them for lots of walks -- which is good for you too, of course. But if you keep your mental antennas turned on, you may come up with something better.

[Van Buren Supernova]

How if you let them run but under your supervision and you have something nearby to scare the owl if you need to? Like umbrella?

It would be risky though. Even if the owl can't snatch your dog, they could injure them trying.

[Pseudonym]

Oh b*ggering hell. I bought a new coat on Monday, and I've been tossing up about keeping it since it was pretty expensive and due to my car insurance being renewed this month I'm pretty skint, and now I find out it's 20% off in a Black Friday sale.  I'm going to have to reorder it and then immediately return it with the receipt for the expensive one. If it was a couple of quid I wouldn't bother, but for 20 quid I will. 

[Pseudonym]

Is this something done in other countries - someone accidentally drops a glass, it loudly shatters, and everyone in the bar/restaurant loudly and sarcastically cheers and claps? It infuriates me. 

[Arcadia]

Is this something done in other countries - someone accidentally drops a glass, it loudly shatters, and everyone in the bar/restaurant loudly and sarcastically cheers and claps? It infuriates me.

Certainly not a thing in restaurants around here, although maybe that's only because I can't recall anyone ever breaking a glass in one. I've been in maybe 3 bars in my life, so I wouldn't know about them. My impression though is that they're very noisy and no one would notice if a glass broke. One of many reasons I stay away from them.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I believe I've experienced that, yes, presumably in a restaurant with a liquor license rather than an actual bar. As I recall, though, it wasn't just *a* glass, a waiter or busboy dropped an entire trayful of breakables. Somehow I doubt that the applause made him feel any better.

[Pseudonym]

That's why I hate it. That happened to my friend once - you've just broken a big tray of things, your boss is going to murder you, and now you've got everyone taking the p*ss. You're embarrassed enough as it is. I wonder where that whole thing came from? 

[Carol the Dabbler]

I suspect it's just a natural knee-jerk reaction to something spectacular. Doubt that anyone actually thinks it through first.

[Pseudonym]

Weird how a whole bar will do it though in completely different countries. You think you'd just look, shrug, and continue on. 

[Pseudonym]

Lovely surprise this morning, I woke up absolutely hideous. I look like I've been in a fight. One of my eyes is sore and bloodshot, and I've developed a big cold sore that has made half my top lip swell to twice it's normal size overnight. What the actual f**?!

[Van Buren Supernova]

Is your dream palace as elaborate as Sherlock's? Did you go around throwing punches at the edge of the fall? Or had a brawl with evil professor?

[Pseudonym]

Possibly, I do flail and yell in my sleep a lot.

 

Oh there's nothing like a bit of early morning rage. Yesterday the courier didn't turn up so people promised delivery today are not going to get it, today the bl00dy booking system won't work and I'm in a race against time to get stuff packed and booked that HAS to go this morning. It freezes, it gets stuck, it logs me out, it erases the address info. Then the labels won't print properly, then the system logs me out again, then I have to rebook something for the gazillionth time to fix the messed up label. ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[Pseudonym]

An update on my ugliness, since I'm sure you're all dying to know, my red eye has gone back to looking like an actual eye, and my lip has deflated and looks like a lip again. I'm hoping it'll heal in time for my very posh Christmas party/dinner on Friday, but not holding out hope. Turning up looking like Quasimodo might be a bit of a faux pas. 

[J.P.]

What was that about a feast and a spectre again?

[Pseudonym]

:(

[Carol the Dabbler]

After I got punched in the face by an airbag, I actually enjoyed the reactions I got, the first instant people saw me (partly because I looked *way* worse than I really was).

[Hikari]

That's why I hate it. That happened to my friend once - you've just broken a big tray of things, your boss is going to murder you, and now you've got everyone taking the p*ss. You're embarrassed enough as it is. I wonder where that whole thing came from? 

 

Sorry to hear about your accident, Pseud.  (I think?  I'm still not entirely sure what happened to you . . .feel better soon!)

 

May I just observe, as an American, that the expression 'take the p*Ss' sounds funny to us.  Surely, the person *taking* the p*ss is the poor slob on the receiving end, not those dishing out . . the p*ss . . Leastways that's how it should read.  But since when do idioms make sense?

 

Over here, we say "He/she is really p*ssing me off!" to express anger by the speaker.  'Taking the p*Ss' Yank equivalent would be, let's see . .

 

Ragging on:  "It's really p*ssing me off that these guys won't stop ragging on me."

(cf. also Riding/Dumping on/Razzing/Giving me Sh*T--there's the scatological component)  Notice that the razzed/ridden/dumped on/receiving Sh*t is always the *object*.

 

"If these guys don't stop giving me Sh*t I'm going to lose it."

 

 

Then there's the transatlantic chasm that is 'fanny', or 'duff'.  In the U.S. both of these words mean 'backside'  In your country they mean . .the other end, resulting in unintentional hilarity with terms like 'fanny pack'.  To me a fanny pack is a small zippered nylon pouch worn around one's waist and if one desires, over the bum.  Very 1980s but still favored by senior citizens on vacation.

 

In the UK I can only surmise that 'fanny pack' means . . .a tampon?

 

Both fanny and duff are quaintly archaic words over here, such as your grandma might say because she is too decorous to say 'butt'.  When a girl is in the family way in your country, she's 'up the duff', right? 

 

In my country, though it would never be expressed exactly like that, 'up the duff' can only mean  . .backdoor lovin' such as that which JohnLock shippers are keen for our pair to engage in.

 

Two nations separated by a common language indeed!

 

I don't know if this cheered you up any but I enjoyed myself.