Shoot the Wall (A.K.A. The Rant Thread)

[Carol the Dabbler]

 

Here's an incident that I actually witnessed, so it's definitely not apocryphal. The house next to hers was being re-roofed, and the workers weren't being particularly careful where the old materials went once they were ripped off -- so that, inevitably, some of the old nails were landing in this woman's driveway. I heard her out there scolding the workers, to the effect that she had a bad heart, and her son wouldn't be able to drive her to the hospital (if need be) because the nails would cause a flat tire. I would've had more sympathy if she hadn't been shrieking all this at the top of her lungs.

[Pseudonym]

Definitely a nutter. I can't be doing with shrieking and dramatics. 

[Van Buren Supernova]

Fish heads!! Good god! Those would stink the cars for months. Yah, nutter. Especially she doesn't have the right to do so.

 

I have a rant too. Forget about incompetent people on their jobs, it drives me too mad to even rant.

I want to ask what are your views about time and promises?

 

I probably belong to a mad club, but I hold time and promises very tightly and it's maddening that others don't, especially in professional settings.

 

If someone promise to do something on Thursday, I'd expect it's done on Thursday. Even if they can't make it, they should say something reasonable before Thursday passes. Or FFS, promise something realistic that fits your lazy a** schedule.

Frigging not let it glide as if nothing happens and only when comfronted after that, say Sorry I couldn't make it...blah blah... Some don't even feel the need to say anything. Reset. Repeat.

 

Or appointment at One. Any late, however little, should be communicated. Again, I might be mad, but drop me a msg to tell me you are 10 minutes late makes a lot of difference for me. I can use that to feed my dog, water my plant, buy something, eat, extra shower, instead of wasting time waiting. Especially in this era where communication is a piece of cake. (No, Mycroft. It's figure of speech. Go away.)

 

I keep telling myself to lower my expectation but there are people who appreciate time the way I am, just not many and it drives me nuts.

 

Are promises really that cheap for many?

 

 

 

What about you all?

[Carol the Dabbler]

I think it depends on where you live. Around here, "on time" is roughly five or ten minutes late. If you arrive at someone's house at (or God forbid, before) the designated time, you'll probably have to wait on the doorstep while your host gets dressed or clears off the coffee table. If you're running fifteen minutes or more late, then it's time for an update and/or apology.

[Arcadia]

Depends on the circumstances, really. I think if I worked more with other people, it would bother me. But since most of my interactions with people are largely social, I'm a little more relaxed about stuff like that. But not always. It varies.

[T.o.b.y]

I take promises very seriously. Probably something I learned during childhood when my father would usually say: "yes, but I can't promise". If he made a promise, I could be 100% sure he would keep it. So as a grown-up myself now, I still don't use the word lightly.

 

As for being late - context is important. For social invitations, five to ten minutes behind the given time is considered polite around here. At work, arriving only two minutes late to a meeting is an affront. With close friends and family, since we all own cell phones, we have taken to sending each other texts a la "just left my house, will be there in approx 15 min" all the time and we hardly ever agree on a certain time to meet anymore but rather a time frame like "between one and two".

[Van Buren Supernova]

Yes, that is basically how I operate. But I was criticized a lot for not wanting to commit to something easily, because like what you said, if I say I'll be there means I will be there, and I want to be sure I can be there because I promise.

 

However, many people I know lightly say and promise things like that only to back out later, but then they are viewed as more approachable, accommodating, sociable and all those craps that I don't bother about.

But it annoys me when they use that approach with me and promise things I know they will break because it happens before (yet it doesn't deter them) and I am viewed as harsh when I told them I don't trust their words (which I don't). I said that at work and in private relationships, but it's probably too direct it sounds strange and they tried to act as if I was joking, which I don't, which in turn infuriates me more when they fail (again).

 

In personal relationship, it doesn't help as well. Me and my best friend were planning to set up something together. (I always shy away from setting up things with friends and family as I believe it would eventually ruins relationship but he managed to convince me). It was all fun but serious fun, so we had to both come up with proposal and samples on particular day. I was in the middle of other personal stuffs that took out most of my time, I asked him if he wanted to postpone the date but he said no, so I sacrificed my sleep the nights before to get some decent proposal, but no, he simply said he had not done anything when the day came. Needless to say, I flipped off, it seemed difficult to make him understand why I was mad and why I refused to attempt any more collaboration (it's not that I only gave him one chance). He still my best friend, but I wouldn't attempt any professional relation even when he still attempts to persuade me.

 

Yup, I am used to arrive ten minutes/earlier but I am willing to wander aimlessly until the given time, unless I know people that I meet have early habits as well then I'd contact them as soon as I arrive.

Work meeting, I normally earlier as well because I prefer to get my bearing. I sometimes chew on consultants who arrives late (no joke, half an hour or more) but then my own colleagues don't really have discipline of time (that is one of the reasons why our consultants develop habits of being late), so I always tell them "you guys can't complaint that they are late because you are late yourself, get yourself in there on time so I have ground to scold them." I don't need to attend every meeting, so eventually the late habit is very common without me, but luckily they learn not to when I present. Ugh, I feel mad even when I'm typing this.

 

I came back from few days off, finding that everything stands still eventhough I had put them in motion before I go. Spent whole morning trying to get people to do what they are supposed to do, which apparently almost everyone is imbecile, and worse, they tried to give me unreasonable reasoning which are total BS and they should know it.

 

Help, my veins are exploding. At least you guys don't seem to think I am crazy, I hope. Maybe I'd just drink a bottle of cough syrup and sit happily.

 

Sorry for the rant. *kick a mosquito*

[Pseudonym]

I'm always running late, but very rarely am I actually late. One of my friends however is always late when we meet up and it drives me nuts because it normally means I'm left standing in a pub on my own for an hour, or sitting around waiting somewhere until I get to the point of ringing angrily and demanding to know where she is. Then she normally says she's on her way and nearly there, but it's never true, the wait is always longer. 

 

I mainly work on my own, so I don't have to bother with meetings and people being late. However when my boss, who is also my brother, doesn't do things on time, which holds up my side of the job, I get furious. 

[Van Buren Supernova]

One hour? And more? On a pub? :blanket: Good god!

I'd probably break a chair and ditch her after half an hour.

[Pseudonym]

Yes I was not best pleased. Luckily I didn't get anyone weird talking to me or chatting me up so that's something. 

[Arcadia]

I used to be that way. I guess I've just gotten used to the inefficiency of most people. Mostly if I think it's something important I just do the work myself. Of course, it matters that I am mostly dealing with volunteers these days. I think if I were dealing with people who are being paid to do their jobs, I'd go ballistic fairly often.

 

Social relationships ... nah, we're all good. I don't hang out much with anyone except the people I'm really comfortable with, and I'm comfortable with people who don't angst too much about stuff like that.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Mostly if I think it's something important I just do the work myself.

 

One place where I worked, the secretary quit and the boss asked me to interview applicants, then tell him who the top three were.  I later said there wasn't any top three, there was a top one, and I wouldn't hire any of the others on a bet.  He insisted on interviewing three anyhow -- then hired one of the others, who turned out to be worse than no secretary at all.  I would give her a handwritten letter to type (this was back in those days), and she'd hand me a typed letter with three or four errors.  I would circle the typos and give it back to her for retyping.  She would hand me a retyped letter with three or four new errors.  And so on, until I gave up and waited till she left for the day and typed it myself.  Mercifully, she spent more time in the hardware store downstairs, making eyes at the owner's son, than she did at her desk, so at least the damage was minimized.

 

Finally even the boss had to admit that she had been a mistake, and made me (!) fire her.  Fortunately she took it well, as in didn't really seem to care.  (For all I know, she married the hardware-store owner's son and is living happily ever after.)

[Inge l-w]

That's the good thing about being in higher education: you can never be late for anything! It's not only disrespectful to your students but to yourself. You have to be on time (I usually run half an hour earlier than expected), you have to make sure everything is organised and ready beforehand, lecture notes, bibliography, slides, whatever!

On the social level, my Mum made us be punctual for everything, usually quoting a proverb about punctuality being the graciousness of princes, so, like VBS, if anyone stands me up for more than ten to fifteen minutes (public transportation must be factored in), then I get up and leave.

[Van Buren Supernova]

I think it's not exclusive to higher education, you probably didn't mean that anyway, I think it's more about attitude and appreciation to others.

 

I do have angst about these things; time and promises, especially when I make special effort to fulfill that and what is wasted makes a difference with things I could do. It multiplies and could be maddening for me.

Well, of course I don't count unforeseen accidents, incidents or technical problems. I am not an unreasonable jerk.

 

Can't help it, tried to relax on it, but can't. Because it's simple enough; don't be late, let me know when you will be late, don't make promises you can't fulfill, let me know if you can't keep promises, before. Mean it when you say it.

 

Mostly if I think it's something important I just do the work myself.

Believe me, if I could, I would.

But when they are from different line, delicate expertise, department or company, there is only so much I could do.

[Pseudonym]

Something that annoys me from the opposite viewpoint is when people insist on making plans at a time it's impossible for me to keep to. For example if I finish work at 5, and they say 'oh lets go for a pint at half past' when I work more than half an hour drive away from town. Even though I point out I can't make it they tack on exactly another half an hour which makes things a mad rush and means they are waiting around for me. It makes out I'm the flakey one, but how many times can you tell someone it's impossible to teleport across town?

[Van Buren Supernova]

If they force you to and know your situation, it's not your fault. But I get what you mean. The thing I hate more than waiting for late people, is being late myself for unpredictable situations.

 

Recently I needed to change my appointment because I couldn't fulfill it.

Even when I shouldn't, I was stressed out so much, not being able to fulfill it because of unforeseen family situation. So I changed the appointment to a day after, another situation came up and I had to change it back. We still had plenty of days before the appointment yet I felt very bad, because I was reluctant to make appointments before I was sure and when I finally made one, it's messed up.

 

But then, when we met, they forced me to make another appointment to a trip. (We used to be trip buddies, now we stay far apart and I haven't been able to travel with them for 3 years because I can't commit to anything I'm not sure, and I'm never sure with my work schedule).

[Inge l-w]

All of us could do with a bit of high-end Starfleet technology: beam me up, Scotty!

[Carol the Dabbler]

I could swear that I posted this earlier today, but it's not here, is it? 

 

I'm getting really fed up with robo-calls.  I assume that you folks in other countries have this phenomenon as well, but just in case you've been spared so far, it's an automated sales pitch.  Your phone rings, you pick it up and say hello -- and nothing.  About the time you start to hang up, a spritely voice says "Hi, this is Judy!"  I don't recall what they say after that, because that's about when I actually do hang up, and that's not rude of me, because "Judy" is just a recording.

 

Alex never answers these calls in the first place -- if he doesn't recognize the number, he doesn't answer.  I don't handle it that way because what if it's somebody I really do want to talk with, and I just don't know their number?

 

But today I thought of a way to know that it's one of my robo-buddies on the line.  Two of the usuals phoned this morning, and I simply added them to my cell phone's contact list.  Assuming that they always use the same number (which I don't know for sure), the caller ID will now say "Robo Heather" or "Robo Sara."  And I can enjoy listening to the rest of "The Game Is On."  :D

 

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

They are probably better than human sales pitch.

 

I was called so often (sometimes twice a day and it's impossible to hang up without being rude) by my banks, different sale staffs, using different numbers. I kept blocking but they got me again and again. Seems like they have database free for all.

To the point I lodged a formal write-up complain to stop it and threaten to do further action if they don't do so, because they like to ignore it after being quiet for a few weeks. Now it stops forever.

 

I hardly pick up strange number as well, if I know I don't expect anything important. But too bad, sometimes I do. Otherwise I don't even call back if I get miscall.

[kimber8ada]

I'm like Alex. If I don't recognize the number I don't pick up. That's what the answering machine is for. If it's important they will leave a message, or I can pick up when I know who it is. Does that make me a bad person?

[Carol the Dabbler]

Nope, just not as pathologically curious as me.

[Fantasy Lover]

Boys that don't take no as an answer. No, I won't date you. No, you don't have the right to insult me for not dating you. No, I won't give you a chance after YOU insulted me for not dating you!

[Pseudonym]

Yes, definitely agree with that. And I'll add on, the ones who continue to follow you around and pester you for days or even weeks after being told no.

[Fantasy Lover]

The didn't happen to me. I was stupid to give my number to him and he's been bothering me the entire weekend. But I was pretty rude to him so I'll doubt he'll contact me again.

[Pseudonym]

Fingers crossed.