Shoot the Wall (A.K.A. The Rant Thread)

[Pseudonym]

The thing is most couriers come in and ask where I want them to put whatever they are carrying, they don't just dump it as close to the door as possible. But yea, it can go both ways. 

[Arcadia]

I know. When I worked at the art supply store, most of the guys would come in and ask where we wanted the delivery stacked. But there was one or two that just dumped them off. The owner informed me that the ones that asked weren't required to, they were just being polite because they knew he had a physical handicap and could use the help. But technically, it wasn't part of their job. Needless to say, however, we preferred working with them.

[Van Buren Supernova]

/+I remember reading an article one time about a couple of guys who saw a couple of women out in their yard building something, and truly didn't know whether it was okay to offer their help or not. Would it be considered a friendly act, or would it be regarded as sexism? If it had been two other guys, they said they would have offered to help without thinking about it.

 

Finally, one of the guys decided to go ahead and offer to help ... and the women rather curtly turned him down. So the reporter went and talked to them too, and they said yes, they thought it was rather sexist of the guy to offer. But after they talked to the reporter they felt a little bad; they thought maybe they'd over-reacted. But also they really, really wanted to do the project themselves, just to prove they could "without a man's help."

 

It can be difficult to communicate with each other these days, can't it?

I think that is a total over reaction. I believe many guys are still genuine to help without the intention of underestimating the female counterparts.

 

I consider myself quite strong and capable of doing many things that requires bit of strength, especially for my outdoor activities that are normally strenuous and require ability to carry heavy load of backpack or equipments (ex.mountaineering, rock climbing, scuba diving) or simple daily stuff like lifting and changing big gallon of water, yet when a guy offers to help I'd let him, but slowly he would take the hint that in most cases I probably don't need it. The help could be as simple as a grab of hand, or lifting a backpack/equipment to wear to carrying communal/shared logistic, which is tremendous amount of help.

 

I think it's in the nature of good people to offer help when they are able to and why not, and men tend to do that because, let's face it, it's accurate that most men have more physical strength than most women, although it's debatable in term of skills. In that case, it's a vice versa situation.

 

I find that when I offer to help in those activities, all women gladly accept it, but some men tend to hesitate or even refuse, although in some cases they are clearly in trouble and in dangerous situation. I believe they think it's sign of weakness and they *should* be more capable than women by default. I think it's rude, in those cases, I'd turn around and don't bother about them, your lost, good luck, I've tried, unless they are under my responsibility or my team, which then becomes very annoying, because sometimes then I have to put myself in unnecessary dangerous situation too to get them out of trouble, and then, yes, they gladly accept it. Huh.

[Pseudonym]

Oh God, not a rant per se but I just had something terrifying happen to me. I suddenly woke up out of a deep sleep and I couldn't breathe. I don't know if I'd had sleep apnea and it triggered an asthma attack or what the hell happened but it was really horrific. Luckily I sleep with an asthma pump next to my bed or I don't know what would have happened. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

It sounds like something triggered an asthma attack, that's for sure!

 

Have you changed anything in your bedroom? New sheets, old sheets washed with new detergent, new nightstand, anything?

[Pseudonym]

Nope nothing changed. Never woken up mid-asthma attack before, very scary. :(

[Arcadia]

Any chance it was "just" a panic attack? Either way, a visit to a lovely doctor might be in order, just to check things out ....

[Pseudonym]

I suppose it's possible. I've never had a panic attack before to recognise it. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

Never woken up mid-asthma attack before....

And that may be all it was, just scary timing. You might ask your asthma doctor whether there's any reason why a person could NOT have such an attack while sound asleep, and if there isn't then that's your likeliest explanation.

[T.o.b.y]

Poor you. In case an anecdote helps, a good friend of mine used to wake up from bad asthma attacks regularly. I remember her parents rushing her to the hospital at 2 a.m. in one case. So yeah, that kind of thing happens.

 

I agree that a visit to your doctor is in order to figure out if this was an your asthma acting up or some other problem and get it treated. Do you live alone, btw? If so, do you keep your phone near you when you go to bed?

[Pseudonym]

I used to get rushed into hospital when I was little and had attacks but I've mostly grown out of it luckily. This morning was the first time I've had a serious attack in years, I'd forgotten how terrifying it can be not being able to breathe. Yea I do live alone, I have my phone next to me in my bedroom though not being able to talk means it would be difficult getting help.   Hopefully it won't happen again!

My mother was horrified when I told her, she's paranoid enough that something might happen to me after I fell down the stairs last year, she'll be calling for daily check-ups at this rate. 

[Caya]

Do you have emergency bracelets in the UK? My aunt had one, it's a bracelet with a big red button, you press it and someone tries to raise you over a gizmo attached to your phone, and if they can't they're sending an ambulance. You wouldn't have to be able to breathe/talk to trigger that one, and in case it turns out to be okay you can always tell them so as soon as you *can* talk again and have the ambulance recalled.

[Pseudonym]

We do have those, old people tend to have them if they have a serious condition where they might need an ambulance without being able to call one.

Since this is the first time in years I don't think I'd need anything like that - I'm lucky the inhaler was close enough to grab, and that it worked. Hopefully if I rang 999 and they could hear the wheezing they would send someone out - I'm not sure how long it takes to track an address from a mobile phone though. 

[Caya]

Just wild guessing, but maybe 999 has an app for that? You'd have to have GPS enabled on the mobile obviously, but they might have something worked out for that.

[Pseudonym]

I think my GPS is usually on. They must have some way of doing it. 

 

I just googled how they track people and found an article that said it was only to the nearest mast, which I'm hoping isn't true! Seems a bit unlikely.

[Carol the Dabbler]

You might consider getting a landline installed in your bedroom for such emergencies. That way they could immediately head straight for your door.

[Mateos]

Could you tell me how to turn off snow falling down on the forum? I smell spring in the air and this snow makes me so anxious - when I'm here, I'm constantly glancing through the window to make sure that winter hasn't come back.  :D

[Carol the Dabbler]

That's easy!  Scroll down to the bottom of any forum page, and click on "Change Theme," then select one of the themes that says "(No Snow)."

 

 

[Van Buren Supernova]

But as long as you are not logged in, you'd still see snow.

 

 

 

Where do you guy stand in lending money?

I had bad experiences so it's a NO from me, but vice versa, I never borrow from anyone (except mortgage euh).

It ruins relationships and people take it for granted.

 

What surprises me is how easy people try to approach me, like just now, from a collague that I have just known for weeks and basically seen for, what, an hour? We share different office.

 

Why would she thinks is okay? I am not rich and don't appear so, I am tucked in my corner office and could go without any interactions with outside world except a morning and bye greetings from an equally introverted same-office colleague.

So she msg-ed me, walked in with sweet small talk (that I know too well) and leads to her trying to borrow money for her rent. I did recommend her some apartment back then, because I know how hard it is when you are new in town, but I don't expect that she thinks it's a good idea.

 

Oh she has higher rank than me, although maybe she has less pay. I don't know, she knows, she is the HR manager ffs.

[Shadow Dweller]

Same with you VBS, not loaning and not borrowing. Once at the past, a promise to pay it back in one week becomes three months and after I asked for it several times. No more but if you want help to find good deals that would cut your expenses, I am ready.

[Mateos]

I'm logged in when I'm here, so finnaly I've seen winter off, thanks.

 

 

And I totally agree that lending or borrowing money ruins relationships, even between close relatives. I've never expercienced it personally, but I know some broken families because somebody doesn't give money back, the problem has been acumulating since then, they avoid each other and so on. Sick.  

[Pseudonym]

Ditto, I don't like it either. I even hate it when people offer to lend me money, because I'm really independent and would rather struggle through on my own. I don't understand how some people seem to find it so easy to ask others for money, it's incredibly cheeky. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

I think I've borrowed significant amounts of money from friends and family just twice in my life. The first time was shortly after I'd gotten out on my own, and I misjudged when I'd be able to pay it back, so I was embarrassingly late. But I did include interest at a generous rate (though we'd never discussed interest at all), so I don't feel *too* bad about that. The other time was ten years later. I did pay back that loan right on time (and again with interest).

 

Near as I can recall, I have loaned money to friends and family three times, one of which was paid back just fine, one was made good in another way, and the third borrower never even mentioned it again (meaning that's one person who never borrows a cent from me again).

 

By the way, how do y'all feel about "Whose turn is it to pay for dinner"? I hate it. Far better in my opinion that everybody pays for their own meal each time, so there's no question about whose turn, no problem if the one who's NOT paying orders the prime rib, and umm, there was a third thing....

[Pseudonym]

Yup, I hate that too. One of my friends is very much of a laissez-faire attitude when it comes to paying for things and it makes me really uncomfortable. Recently I paid for tickets to an event, and was expecting to be paid back (an offer to contribute to travel costs would have been nice too) and in thanks she bought me a bar of chocolate, with no offer to repay. A while later she bought tickets for something, didn't bring up payment so I didn't offer thinking it cancelled out what I'd paid for the month before. But it made me feel shitty not offering, and I don't know if it even occurs to her but I can't help keeping a tally in my head. I would rather just pay my own way, let her pay hers, and everything is simpler. I've tried doing that before and she always shrugs it off. 

Generally with food I always say to the server that we're paying separately because that makes it so much easier!

[J.P.]

Not to the server, though. :P But then it might make more tip.