Introverts, how is your day?

[Arcadia]

I'm with Tobe ... come up with a stock phrase like "my life's really great right now" and change the subject. Stay away from explanations, that will just convince them you're secretly miserable. And throw cats.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Poor kitties....  :(

[T.o.b.y]

Well... If they're anything like our late cat, they won't need any throwing. She threw herself at people (or dogs or other perceived enemies) with very little warning, clawing and snarling. Just find yourself a little piece of hellfire like that.

[Van Buren Supernova]

Actually I find forced social gathering bearable and even fun when the host have pets, especially doggies and kitties.

[Pseudonym]

To those of you who hate people... 

 

I know video clips are a bit of a pain, who can be arsed to click, but I've lost count of how many times I've watched this and it still makes me laugh out loud. 

 

The horror of being an introvert on a London train after a sunny day. It might be uniquely British humour... but I suspect not. The story starts at the 1.15 mark. 

 

[Carol the Dabbler]

Hilarious, even though I couldn't understand all of it.  And true, I'm sure, because we once had a similar experience.  Dunno if it was a sunny day or not, but we were taking the train back to  London from wherever we'd been, and four well-dressed guys got on at Ascot.  They may have just come from a local pub, but of course I assumed they'd been to the race track, probably had seats in the royal box or something.  And all four of them are visibly drunk.

 

The train must have been crowded, because the four of them were standing, and kind of weaving.  Finally one of them pukes, and the puddle progresses, little by little, back along the entire length of the car.  I'm moving my feet out of its path, and presumably my fellow non-puking passengers are doing likewise.

 

Drunks should be required to carry a mop.  As long as they clean up after themselves, I don't mind.

[Pseudonym]

Ha Ha Haaa! So you were the pleasant American family in place of the pleasant Spanish family?

 

What didn't you understand? His accent or the references?

[Carol the Dabbler]

Mostly the presumably-British accent that he used to the quote the emails.  I got the gist of it, I assume, but couldn't quote you the actual words.  Also some of what he said in his regular accent.

 

I'm sure he'd have just as much difficulty understanding me telling a local Hoosier anecdote.

[Shadow Dweller]

1. Times like these it is easy to see why there is a saying that when introverts thinks before saying, the extroverts talks before they think.

2. People who is control freak even in private life and fond of inflicting it on others (especially to ME) is asking for trouble. No need to cry if backlash is coming your way, you reap what you sow.

[Pseudonym]

Oh God, two nights out in a row. If I'm not careful people are going to start thinking I'm *cringe* sociable. 

[Pseudonym]

Oh God, what do you say to someone who's wife has just left them when they are already going through a ton of shit? I have no idea what to say, I'm not good with emotional stuff at the best of times. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

I guess you say you're sorry to hear that. If they're a friend of yours, you could offer your help. Not too much you really can say, I suspect.

 

One thing I've heard you should *not* do, no matter what, is say anything critical of their estranged spouse. Even though it feels like the natural thing to do, if you say bad things or even agree with the dumpee when they say bad things -- if the couple happens to get back together, you can end up as persona non grata.

[Van Buren Supernova]

If I really want to help that person I'd lend my ears and probably try to help with any practical things that I could help. But same, I don't know what to say in those situations too, mostly just quiet but be there and the most is tell me how to help/if there is anything I could do.

 

@Carol, I actually did something against what you advised. My friend went through some phase of domestic violence, and I gave her my honest opinion which of course saying critical things about their spouse (there is nothing nice/netral to say about unreasonable violent husband, especially he was trying to hurt my friend and their daughter, although it was 'early' stage), so I gave her my honest piece of mind that although she knows it's true and she said so, it's never pleasant to hear.

Eventually she tried to save her marriage where there were chaotic dramas all around that confirm my take.

 

As for now, I can't still put my finger on it; about how powerful it is, that the fear of being alone, the fear of change can imprison someone. I see it everywhere, that some choose to be in unhappy relationship just because. And she is the main bread winner, so no trouble in that area, which is the one reason I could understand is worrying about the welfare of the child in financial way.

 

She couldn't get away, and she never tells her stories to me again. To be fair, I have never asked as well.

I should have asked more, maybe, but I don't want to invade, and most probably she knows what kind of inputs she would get from me and she prefers not to unless she is ready again.

And all I do is bit of safe checking once in a while and say you know where to find me should you need me.

Since we have been friends for over two decades, she knows the extent of support I'm willing to give, but she understand perfectly that rosy words, attention or literal shoulder to cry on are not something I'm good at.

 

Eta. I actually don't mind being a persona non grata in that situation, or similar situation. Some things need to be said and they spare me from having to say that directly to the person. Well of course, it has to be true. And hopefully no one tweak it differently, after all, deep down, one or two of them know I'm not bluffing.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I think what I've heard advised against (and this makes sense to me) is don't engage in random name-calling against the estranged spouse (e.g., don't refer to him as a "jerk" or "dope" or "fat" or "ugly," etc.).  In the case you describe, though, it does make sense to me, to try to talk the abused party into leaving -- that could be a life-or-death situation.  So that's different.

 

Not likely to work, though, unfortunately. 

[Pseudonym]

Isn't dope meant to be a good thing?

[T.o.b.y]

Isn't dope meant to be a good thing?

As an adjective, yes. As a noun, I think it means "dumbhead".

[Carol the Dabbler]

Maybe I'm just being dopey, but how is "dope" used as an adjective?

 

Yes, as a noun, it's fairly similar to "idiot," but with other nuances that can vary due to context, tone of voice, etc.

[Pseudonym]

As in "that trick was dope." 

[Carol the Dabbler]

Translation?

[Pseudonym]

Just that it was cool/awesome. 

[Pseudonym]

Ohhhhh, stress, hello my old friend. 

 

Today has been manic. I seem to have done my shoulder in somewhere along the way and now it no longer wants to move properly. This is first chance I'd have to actually sit down and not do anything for a second, though I still have a few machines running I have to keep an eyeball on - one seems to like to catch fire every time I look away. 

[SherlockedCAMPer]

Maybe I'm just being dopey, but how is "dope" used as an adjective?

 

Yes, as a noun, it's fairly similar to "idiot," but with other nuances that can vary due to context, tone of voice, etc.

As in "that trick was dope."

Translation?

Just that it was cool/awesome.

I know a guy in his 50s that uses it in that way often enough. And because of who he is, he does not make that sound uncool.

[Fantasy Lover]

My day was weird: me and my colleagues were talking about about holiday plans and the traditional new year resolutions e.g. more exercising and eating healthy, but one of my colleagues resolutions was more F***ing and more pleasuring yourself. And then it became the main topic for the next 5 minutes because they considered it's a normal thing to do, that may be so but it didn't make any less awkward to listen to.

[Pseudonym]

Uh, yea, a bit TMI. Where I used to work some of the teams did a secret santa, and my friend bought someone on his team a vibrator. 

[Pseudonym]

Last time I said this I got bitched at for apparently being a vile person, but I really wish I could get away with being as rude and blunt as Sherlock. Just nipped off to the toilet, and my sister in law was apparently showing her friend around the house, so I said hello, she said hello back, I sort of murmured 'lo as an acknowledgement, then she said hello again, so I had to say hello again, and I had to get past her to get to the loo and she just kept saying hello and smiling inanely. I felt like throwing my hands up, channelling Sherlock and snapping 'yes, alright, everyone's said hello, lovely, now get out of the bloody way.'

 

Also just got moaned at for daring to use two heaters in the office. Bearing in mind that my brother, who I would rather just refer to as the boss since we don't get on that well, spends his days sitting in his house on the sofa with his laptop where it's actually warm, where as my office is across the garden in a converted garage. Arsehole.