Shoot the Wall (A.K.A. The Rant Thread)

[T.o.b.y]

Just curious: Do y'all consider "fat" to be an insult? Is it one of those words that only people whom it applies to can use without being offensive? If so, who qualifies?

 

It seems like a perfectly neutral descriptive word to me, albeit very vague. One person's fat is another's curvy and a third's healthy-looking. Still, I don't like being called fat either; I am unfortunately rather touchy about my figure.

[Arcadia]

That's me to the left, just so you know I'm not exaggerating:

Why, what big teeth you have! Oh wait ... you mean further to the left. Never mind. :P

 

Just curious: Do y'all consider "fat" to be an insult? Is it one of those words that only people whom it applies to can use without being offensive? If so, who qualifies?

 

It seems like a perfectly neutral descriptive word to me, albeit very vague. One person's fat is another's curvy and a third's healthy-looking. Still, I don't like being called fat either; I am unfortunately rather touchy about my figure.

Depends on the context, but in general, yeah, I think calling someone "fat" is not very kind. "Overweight" would be a more neutral term. Why, I don't know, it means the same thing. Well, I guess "fat" implies quite a bit of extra weight, whereas "overweight" could be anything from five to five hundred pounds.

 

But commenting on someone's weight ... even if they are just perfect ... is a bit rude in "polite society", I would say. Also their shoe size, their height, their gait, their walking pace ... :D All of that implies a certain level of intimacy that I for one don't feel with total strangers. My close friends, on the other hand ... that's probably all we talk about.

[Pseudonym]

I'd say it's an insult because it generally seems to be intended as an insult. And most people are sensitive enough about their appearance that having something commented on in a negative light feels hurtful. 

[Arcadia]

Yeah, I don't feel insulted when my doctor says I'm overweight. And if it weren't for the health concerns, I don't think I'd care. But I am worried about my health, lately, so I've been trying to do something about it. And I have to admit it does feel good when people compliment me on how much better I look as a result, even though on some level I feel like it's none of their business. Plus I always try to deflect the compliment by mentioning how much more I have to go. (Why? )

 

I do get genuinely annoyed when people say I look "sexier" due to my weight loss. That's not why I'm doing it, you morons! Grrrrr.....

[Carol the Dabbler]

Martina, around here you'd merely rate a "plump" (even if people were merely talking about you, rather than to you).

 

Tobe, I would certainly never describe anyone as "fat," at least not to their face, because people generally don't do that. In fact, I think they generally use euphemisms like heavyset or stocky or chubby or plump, even when talking to someone else. So yes, I guess "fat" has become the sort of word that one can use only when talking about oneself, or possibly a close friend.

 

I have the opposite problem. It's hard for me to keep weight *on*, especially when I'm under stress, because I lose my appetite and/or forget to eat. I've sometimes weighed twenty or thirty pounds less than I consider normal for me, and even that's barely on the BMI charts.

 

A friend once said she was worried about me because I'd lost so much weight. I mulled that over for a moment and then said how odd it was that she could say that and sound solicitous, whereas if I'd said I was worried about her because she'd gained so much weight lately (which she had), it'd be considered an insult. She blanched and fell all over herself apologizing, but I said no, I really wasn't insulted, just found it odd.

 

I guess one reason for "fat" being considered a slam is that (even though we are not traditionally a slender people) people around here didn't use to be nearly so heavy on average. I'm not sure what's behind the weight gain, though increased inactivity coupled with a fast-food/junk-food diet would be my first guess. Even the sort of store-bought prepared foods that used to be fairly wholesome now contain a whole list of questionable ingredients, many of which have been linked to weight gain. So even a person who used to be thin and is seriously trying to lose their excess weight may end up gaining more instead.

 

And don't get me started on the "toys" people are buying for their kids -- you hardly ever see kids walking or on bicycles around here now, it's all ATVs, motorscooters, and battery-powered kiddy cars.

 

But I do think there are people who (analogously to me) are just naturally a little on the plump side. As long as they're eating fairly wholesome food and are physically active, I assume they're just as healthy as I am.

[T.o.b.y]

I guess it's more acceptable to comment on a person being thin / losing weight rather than being fat because the common beauty standard is to be very slender. So most people will probably assume you don't mind having your thin-ness pointed out and / or can't imagine being thin as a problem. Like Sherlock says, people are idiots. :-p

[Van Buren Supernova]

I guess you are right, people think there shouldn't be any problem for making fun of thinner people. 

And I suppose you are right as well, I don't find that insulting to the level that make me insecure, it's just annoying and judgemental. Or maybe because I also have thick skin and don't give a fish if thinking about those would ruin my day.

 

I used to be skinny (according to others, I thought I was just lean) and have been called bag of bones, twig, washboard, meatless, and accused of having 'dragonworm'. Dragonworm is to make fun of me eating big portion of food but it didn't show, an exaggerating term from having tapeworm. Yah, when I was really active I could eat big meal and need to ask big guy friend to order food for me because they kept giving me small portion thinking it's enough for me eventhough I said no, it's not. Another annoying thing that happened, I happen to have decent sized top part, and many bra salesgirls thought I was lying about my bra size or that I stuff them. Idiots.  With what? Cake? Hmmmmm...cake..

 

I guess some of the reasons why I tried not to think about it were because I had other 'problems'. During childhood and teenage year, a quarter or more of my hair was grey, and I was made fun because of that. I was called old, mystical creature, weird, granny or whatever. It took me awhile to embrace that and even made it eye catching by braiding it, only for them to turn to dark color like the rest of my hair around my uni time. Huh. Attitude.

I also have unusual rough palm (seriously, more than many guys) that used to earn me weird comments when I shake hand, especially because I have strong handshake grip. But that unpleasant to touch not smooth silky palms are asset for me in many ways. They give me great grips for natural climbing and if one day I want to switch job to be a casino dealer, non sweaty good grip hand is top requirement,  :P, seriously, it is.

 

I guess everyone has their own insecurity and most people probably don't think too much how much their comments affect others.

 

 

 

[Pseudonym]

 

 

Another annoying thing that happened, I happen to have decent sized top part, and many bra salesgirls thought I was lying about my bra size or that I stuff them. Idiots.  With what? Cake? Hmmmmm...cake..

 

All I could think about with this is how you would be Mycroft's ideal girl.  :lol:

 

I think part of the thing about the 'fat' comment being an insult is the implication that you lack discipline not just when it comes to food but in all areas of life. Or that you must just lie around eating and never do anything else. 

[Carol the Dabbler]

I used to be skinny (according to others, I thought I was just lean) and have been called bag of bones, twig, washboard, meatless, and accused of having 'dragonworm'. Dragonworm is to make fun of me eating big portion of food but it didn't show, an exaggerating term from having tapeworm. Yah, when I was really active I could eat big meal and need to ask big guy friend to order food for me because they kept giving me small portion thinking it's enough for me eventhough I said no, it's not. Another annoying thing that happened, I happen to have decent sized top part, and many bra salesgirls thought I was lying about my bra size or that I stuff them. Idiots.  With what? Cake? Hmmmmm...cake..

 

I guess some of the reasons why I tried not to think about it were because I had other 'problems'. During childhood and teenage year, a quarter or more of my hair was grey, and I was made fun because of that. I was called old, mystical creature, weird, granny or whatever. It took me awhile to embrace that and even made it eye catching by braiding it, only for them to turn to dark color like the rest of my hair around my uni time. Huh. Attitude.

 

Yeah, me too, pretty much all of the above.  Only my white hair was later on, a small amount in front of each ear.  When I braided my hair, I was careful to separate the white part into its own strand.  I thought it looked pretty cool!

 

If bra sizes where you live are like bra sizes here, it's somewhat understandable that people would be surprised -- though you'd think bra sales ladies would know better.  Over here, the cup size depends on the band size -- so that (as I understand it) the cup on a 32D is the same size as the cup on a 34C or a 36B or a 38A.

[Van Buren Supernova]

All I could think about with this is how you would be Mycroft's ideal girl. :lol:

 

You think so?

I don't know, I think he would be pissed and try to put me in Sherringford for SPCC, Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Cake, because you know, maybe I have to reshape the cake, otherwise I'd have questionable chest shape.

 

 

Yeah, me too, pretty much all of the above. Only my white hair was later on, a small amount in front of each ear. When I braided my hair, I was careful to separate the white part into its own strand. I thought it looked pretty cool!

 

My white hair is during childhood and teenager years, and they are scattered around, not in one spot. The comments were hurtful and made me self conscious for quite a while especially during those years when you are being told about the 'ideal' look etc.

 

And yes, it looked cool :p, but yah, just when I started to feel cool, the hair turned back to normal. I'm not supposed to be happy with them they'd run I guess.

 

If bra sizes where you live are like bra sizes here, it's somewhat understandable that people would be surprised -- though you'd think bra sales ladies would know better. Over here, the cup size depends on the band size -- so that (as I understand it) the cup on a 32D is the same size as the cup on a 34C or a 36B or a 38A.

Yes it is. But what she offered was the smallest size which I believe is 32A and she refused to believe me when I told her, and imo, it's not unreasonable, just that she seems to have the idea that thin equal flat chested. That is why I always do my shopping alone, without pesky unhelpful trying to help shop assistant. %@$#&

[Carol the Dabbler]

That shop assistant is just weird.

[Van Buren Supernova]

If I try to make sense of why she insited; the one I was choosing was just a regular T-shirt bra with no paddings. She probably thought I was wearing wonderbra (thick padded bra, those you take off and wonder where they go), so my original size would fit into the smallest of the type I wanted to buy. Also, it didn't help that I slouched and wore baggy T-shirt. Also, I didn't have cake or tissue in my hand for stuffing material.

[Carol the Dabbler]

Aha!  Then it's all your fault!  :P

[Van Buren Supernova]

I guess so, maybe I should walk in topless next time I want to buy bra, to cut to the chase. That sounds horrible though, worse than the current task of munching eyebrow. XD

[Artemis]

Not to change the subject, but this is a peeve: Getting a constant stream of questions and commentary from someone all the way through a show because they won't pay full attention.

I was with my dad last night.  He said he was going to be busy in his office for an hour or so, so I put on an episode of "Sherlock".  About halfway through it, he took a break from whatever he was doing and started watching with me, and then moved to half watching and half reading on his computer.  Every couple of minutes he'd look up and pay attention for a bit, but he had no idea what was going on because he was missing everything.  So he kept asking me.  "Who's that Molly person?  Is she John's girlfriend?  Who's that teacher?  He's dating again so soon after Mary died?  Who's that teacher, again?  Who's Lestrade?  Who's that guy?  Oh, that's Lestrade?  Is that Mycroft or Moriarty?  How did Molly get Irene's phone to give to Sherlock for Christmas?  Why are they worried about Sherlock?  Why is Sherlock so mean to John?  Do they really like Mrs. Hudson that much?  Is Irene dead?  So is she really dead?  She's not really dead, is she?  Sherlock is weird."  And when it was over he criticized the show for being "weird" and "confusing", as if it were the show's fault he was confused, lol.

So annoying.

 

 

[Fantasy Lover]

Or when you try to watch a movie and someone keeps spoiling the plot :comp: generally, I don't care about spoilers but I prefer to watch a movie in absolute silence.

[Pseudonym]

Yea, I hate that too. Except when you're watching something everyone agrees is awful so you start doing your own voiceovers. I remember watching The Hills Have Eyes a few years ago with some of my best mates, and we all hated it so much we all ended up spontaneously taking a character each and doing our own voiceovers.  XD

 

People talking in the cinema or kicking the back of your seat drives me nuts. 

[Fantasy Lover]

Lol, I did that while watching les miserables and fan4stic because both were absolutely boring.

[Van Buren Supernova]

At home, maybe, but not in cinema please! Because I'd be hating you. It's annoying, those are the reasons why I only enjoy watching movie alone or with very selective people.

 

I once got caught in social gathering and we went to watch movie. This colleague who was sitting next to me kept making inappropriate noises like 'so handsome' 'Oh my god' 'yes!' 'Cool!' like it's bloody sport game and tried to talk to me. When I ignored her, she talked to the other collague. Yah, that was 2014 and the first and last time I did 'social hang out' with many not friend. Oh, it started with just four person project team wanting to have getaway after stressful month, but one of them invited plethora of people who kept showing up and joined the whole day. At the end of the night, there were around ten people and a zombie.

 

I also hate it when people laugh at the something not funny. Sometimes they laugh during sad scenes, sad scene! Because they only paid attention to a bit of accidental slapstick during depressing scene that never meant to be funny, but they don't get it. It's usually awkward because everyone else is silent. I don't know how to give example without spoiling some movie.

[Pseudonym]

Getting home is going to be a nightmare tonight. There's a particularly big concert on and 32000 people are expected to swamp the stadium right down the road from my house. It's going to take me ages to get home, I won't be able to park anywhere near my house, not amused.  

[Van Buren Supernova]

That sucks.

I've only watched game/show/concert for couple of times all my life and the crowd, traffic, people terrified me, especially ending time.

 

And you have to experience that without the possible enjoyment of the event. Good god!

[Pseudonym]

Two things I've done multiple times recently that I hate:

 

- Walking face first through a cobweb. It always feels like there's a spider on you, no matter how many times you look. You're itchy. It's there. Somewhere. 

 

- Standing on a snail. Especially in soft bottomed shoes like slippers. 

[Arcadia]

In your hair, probably. Or under your shirt. Euuughhh.

 

Have I told this story before? When I was about 13, I was playing out in the street with some neighbor kids one evening. At some point during our game I felt something go 'squish' under my bare foot. Went back to look. Squashed frog.

 

 

Then there was the time, years later, when my family was out hiking in the woods. We came to a creek and sat down on some rocks to rest. My mom spots a frog, and tries to get my little nephews to look at it. "Where, Grandmom, we can't see it!" She lobs a rock at it. "Right there!" "We still don't see!" My brother gets up to take a look, picks up the rock she threw, gets a funny look on his face, and says drily: "Good shot, Mom."

 

:d

[Pseudonym]

:o You're a family of frog-killers! 

[Van Buren Supernova]

Yes, poor frogs!

 

On spider web, I used to go to work super early and jog daily. They had shower facilities and beautiful park. Although it is full of people daily, during the night some spiders manage to web across the street and I almost always ran into that. But they are harmless though.

 

Another occasion I brought my friends for a walk, we rest under a tree and couple of minutes later a spider managed to build a web from the tree to my back.

 

But standing on snail, ugh.. and frog! Yikes, nope, poor creatures.