Shoot the Wall (A.K.A. The Rant Thread)

[J.P.]

Oh, God, people who think they are entitled to all the respect from others, while treating them like s… Reminds me of some compulsive twitterer out there.

[T.o.b.y]

Like, I don't want your flowers, I want you to stop being an arse.

 

Amen!

 

I also feel uncomfortable about expensive, fancy or overly elaborate "courtship" presents. Like, if a guy sent me 100 roses to let me know he likes me, I would feel creeped out, especially if the gift came with some kind of request like asking for a date or a marriage proposal. To me, that's not romantic. It's more like a bribe - or worse, an attempt to guilt-trip the recipient into saying yes.

 

Fortunately, my husband isn't very fond of spending money. :lol: And since we share our incomes, it would make little sense for him to go out and buy me something as an apology because I could just as well have bought it myself and made sure I get exactly what I want.

[Pseudonym]

Hm, I don't think I've ever had an apology present.

[Van Buren Supernova]

I don't think I've ever had apology present as well. Anyway, when I'm really angry at someone, they wouldn't able to find me unless I want to be found. It seldom happens anyway.

 

Presents at general make me uncomfortable actually. Yah, it's nice to have something, especially things you need or customized for you. But I don't know how to react properly, and it makes me feel that I owe something back or 'what do you expect me to do about it', and yes, the ickiest ones are the 'courtship' presents. Lucky Toby mentioned it, I was trying to think of the term, and came up with 'mating' present. that sounds not good!

Yah, courtship presents, fancy, over the top, but to me, the scariest one is the nice, simple, sincere ones that actually read a lot into you it's frightening, especially when you don't share the feelings. Well, even if it's from someone I like but still in courting phase. Too scary.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I am generally uncomfortable with presents -- either giving or receiving. Alex and I gave up on giving each other presents years (decades!) ago, because we're not good at picking them.

 

I hate it when somebody (often someone I'm not even really close to) gives me a Christmas or birthday present -- because then I feel like I "owe" them one, but if I get one for them, then they'll "owe" me one, ad infinitum. That's why if I see a little something that I think a friend would like, I'll give it to them with the understanding that it is Not A Present!

[Van Buren Supernova]

We do give present to each other, but not on particular days, only as and when we see something the other likes/needs.

 

And yes! I give something with understanding that it's not present! Don't even bother to wrap, just because I see something they might like and I like them enough. Mostly, I ask someone else to pass it to them, or send through post instead of direct. Can't handle the drama, they like to behave weirdly. Wait.. is it pot calling kettle black? :p

To my defense, I think nothing of it. They don't owe me anything.

[Artemis]

Hm, I don't think I've ever had an apology present.

 

I got my first one last December.  Blah.

 

I also feel uncomfortable about expensive, fancy or overly elaborate "courtship" presents. Like, if a guy sent me 100 roses to let me know he likes me, I would feel creeped out, especially if the gift came with some kind of request like asking for a date or a marriage proposal. To me, that's not romantic. It's more like a bribe - or worse, an attempt to guilt-trip the recipient into saying yes.

 

^ Ditto.  Bribery is the word I was trying to think of, it feels just like that.

 

Presents at general make me uncomfortable actually. Yah, it's nice to have something, especially things you need or customized for you. But I don't know how to react properly, and it makes me feel that I owe something back or 'what do you expect me to do about it',

And yes! I give something with understanding that it's not present! Don't even bother to wrap, just because I see something they might like and I like them enough. Mostly, I ask someone else to pass it to them, or send through post instead of direct.

 

^ Ditto to that, too.  I like to give gifts, but I don't make it a big thing and I prefer not to be around for it, if I can avoid it.  I feel uncomfortable about watching and being watched opening a gift.  I also prefer "just because" presents to special occasion presents.  I don't want anyone to feel obligated to give me something.

[Pseudonym]

Agree with all the awkwardness of presents. When I was little and had a Christmas or birthday present from my sister I would hide around the back of a chair to open it!

[Van Buren Supernova]

The back of the chair?? What an elaborate hiding place! Did you adopt ostrich's method, I can't see you means you can't see me? :p

[Pseudonym]

Nope, it was a big ole armchair and I'd crawl between it and the wall. 

[T.o.b.y]

I love presents in general. Just not when they're being tied to relationship issues or important decisions. A present should not have any strings attached otherwise it ceases to be a present and becomes something else.

 

I particularly like giving presents but unless I know the person very well it also makes me nervous because it's such a social mine field. Not only do you have to find the right item, you also have to make sure it's neither too cheap nor too valuable for the occasion and your relationship with the recipient, not too personal but not too generic either etc.

[Carol the Dabbler]

I used to enjoy presents, both giving and receiving.  But somehow, somewhere along the line, the process developed a lot of baggage that I'd never noticed before.  I hate having to be "proper."

[J.P.]

I like making presents when I find something a person would love. But making presents because a present is due - that's just bleh.

I also don't like getting presents that are wrong (and it's damn hard to find something, because i try to keep my environment free from clutter) For some reason wrong presents make me very sad, maybe because I cannot be happy about them. Sigh, it's hard being me…

[T.o.b.y]

Getting bad presents is just so awkward. I always say thank you because I assume the giver meant well, but unless it's someone like my mother or my husband, I don't dare admit I do not like it. Then I also don't dare get rid of it because the person who gave it to me might find out and be offended. There are boxes and boxes full of junk in my basement for a reason...

 

One member of my extended family has the annoying habit of giving away things she doesn't want any more as gifts. Often these are pretty expensive items, too expensive for the occasion, and she acts like she is being super generous - as if we didn't know perfectly well she did not go out and buy them but just dragged them from her attick and dusted them off. I suppose they are all unwanted presents she received in the past...

[J.P.]

Which country has this custom of passing the presents, even without opening them? Japan?

[Fantasy Lover]

Getting bad presents is just so awkward. I always say thank you because I assume the giver meant well, but unless it's someone like my mother or my husband, I don't dare admit I do not like it. Then I also don't dare get rid of it because the person who gave it to me might find out and be offended. There are boxes and boxes full of junk in my basement for a reason...

ugh, my dad did that, I have thrown everything though :/.

[J.P.]

I get rid of the stuff if I can. Always feeling bad about it. Not only about of the person who gave it to me, but also about the thing that nobody wants. Have I confessed that I'm strange?

[Fantasy Lover]

We all are.

[Artemis]

Getting bad presents is just so awkward. I always say thank you because I assume the giver meant well, but unless it's someone like my mother or my husband, I don't dare admit I do not like it. Then I also don't dare get rid of it because the person who gave it to me might find out and be offended. There are boxes and boxes full of junk in my basement for a reason...

 

I'll never admit when I don't like something, I just say thank you.  When I was a kid I'd be reprimanded for seeming in any degree less than ecstatic about a present, and my parents would tell me I was being ungrateful.  I guess it stuck.  Also, my mom cries if I don't seem to love her gifts, so I have to at least try to put on an act for her.  She usually insists on watching me open them too, so it's extra pressure.  What I hate most is when I'm asked if I like it.  What's the point?  They certainly don't expect me to tell the truth if I don't, so they're basically just asking me to lie straight to their face.

 

I'll usually keep things I don't like around for a year or so and then try to get rid of them, but I can't let anyone see or their feelings will be hurt.  My parents were always telling me to get rid of my "junk", but then when I tried, they'd say woundedly, "You're getting rid of that?  But I gave that to you!"

 

One member of my extended family has the annoying habit of giving away things she doesn't want any more as gifts. Often these are pretty expensive items, too expensive for the occasion, and she acts like she is being super generous - as if we didn't know perfectly well she did not go out and buy them but just dragged them from her attick and dusted them off. I suppose they are all unwanted presents she received in the past...

 

Ugh, my mother does that.  Except they're not expensive items, just random junk.  But she still acts like she's being super generous.  One year, she sent me a Christmas present in the mail.  She called me up when she sent it, making it sound all exciting.  When I finally got it and opened it up, it was 16 dusty cans of expired bean paste from the back of her cupboard.  I don't even like beans, much less bean paste; much less old, expired bean paste.

 

Another year, for my birthday, she sent me leftover trinkets from some 6-year-old's birthday party.

 

I could go on, but yeah.  I don't like getting presents.

 

 

[Carol the Dabbler]

One member of my extended family has the annoying habit of giving away things she doesn't want any more as gifts. Often these are pretty expensive items, too expensive for the occasion, and she acts like she is being super generous - as if we didn't know perfectly well she did not go out and buy them but just dragged them from her attick and dusted them off. I suppose they are all unwanted presents she received in the past...

 

Which country has this custom of passing the presents, even without opening them? Japan?

 

Actually, that's Middle Earth, specifically the Shire, where the hobbits refer to such an object as a mathom -- something no one wants, but too good to throw away.  (Not sure whether they wrap them, though.)

[Van Buren Supernova]

Not a very good day for me.

Forty minutes ride under heavy rain in the morning, with a lot of jerks in the street. Cars cutting lane without signal. Water level high on the street and many sped, one time the water was sprayed by the passing car blinded me for couple, maybe ten seconds. All I saw was water, riding blind because it's too dangerous to stop as there were vehicles behind and beside me.

 

I suppose I wore my buff and raincoat in wrong order, my front top was drenched, and the spare shirt I thought I have in office is no longer here, forgot I brought it back some time ago. So I spent a quarter of morning sporting wet shirt. Luckily noisy people were late, office currently in full capavity. No peace. No peace!

 

And I spent whole day trying to do something impossible at work, that I've already said it would be impossible since yesterday. But I was asked to try anyway. Yep, still impossible. Time wasting. And idiots still need time to understand why and still study my 'evidences'.

[Fantasy Lover]

I hate being called fat, I'm not fat, I'm chubby, blame my genetics.

[Caya]

Well I'm fat - not overweight, but well into the "always gets addressed in English when in tourist areas" range (hooray for stereotypes, I guess, though my jeans-and-loose-tees style of dressing may factor in there, too). That's me to the left, just so you know I'm not exaggerating:

 

 

So I'm fat - so what? I've long since learned not to give a hoot about what others think that makes me (stupid, weak, frustrated, you name it). Yep, it's an unhealthy body state, no contest there, but let him or her who doesn't risk their health in any way (smoking, drinking, driving too fast, dangerous sports, too little sleep, the list is endless) cast the first stone, really (besides, I happen to be healthy, though to be honest I'm as surprised as my doctor about that ), and anyway, it's nobody's concern but mine and my husband's. Fat is one of many states a human body can be and not the scarlet letter that so many would love to turn it into. Don't listen to the idiots. ^_^

[Fantasy Lover]

Thanks Caya . Btw,

Are those crocodiles?

[Caya]

Alligators - I wouldn't dare do that with crocodiles; and it's not as dangerous as it looks besides, this was in Gatorland, Florida, and there's a wrangler just outside the pic to the left. <_<